10 Signs Of A Healthy, Mature Personality

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

When a child is born, he is already a person. From the very infancy, everyone has features of character and temperament. He has his own preferences, tendencies to certain interests, predispositions. Throughout childhood and adolescence, a person repeatedly changes his vision, perception of the picture of the world, the personality grows and develops

When does the moment come when it is already possible to speak about the formation of the personality, that the personality is already healthy, mature? And what is generally meant by the words "healthy", "mature"?

Healthy - I mean, mainly, mental health, emotional, mental, spiritual. Mature - that is, already ripe, the ready-made fruit of her development, upbringing, becoming as a person.

So, 10 signs of a healthy, balanced personality:

1. Vision of your mission, understanding of your mission. A mentally healthy person, a personality, gradually shifts the emphasis from what he wants from life to the question of what he can bring to it. This differs from a person who has lost the meaning of life, who believes that he can no longer expect anything good from life. Personal growth occurs when "I have nothing to catch here, nothing good awaits me" changes to "What can I give this world?" This interpretation of the issue does not imply self-denial, self-sacrifice. When a person is looking for answers to the question "What can I give, why am I here, why am I here?", He takes the path of self-realization - one of the components of human happiness.

2. Acceptance of yourself completely and completely

Unconditional, healthy love for oneself, respect for oneself, for one's appearance, qualities of character, respect and acceptance of one's views and system of values, one's qualities. I am deliberately not using the word "merits and demerits". Talking about his merits and demerits, a person divides his essence, himself into "good" and "bad". "This is good and right in me, but this requires attention, self-discipline, work on oneself." A person calls a disadvantage what he does not like in himself, what he would change in himself, what he considers not true, a mistake, a mistake. But the truth is, there are no merits or demerits. The qualities of a person are the components of his personality. When he accepts all of himself as a whole and loves in himself every single part of the manifestation of himself, then he ceases to see the advantages and disadvantages, he appears in front of himself as a monolith, a single whole. The complexity of the pattern of its components represents its Uniqueness. If you pull the pieces out of the puzzle, throw them out as unusable, then the picture will cease to be integral. Most of all kinds of "personal growth" trainings like "True woman" or "Be a real man" (names are invented, I apologize for possible coincidences) involve taking out the pieces and artificially "shoving" a new, convenient, suitable piece of the puzzle. Instead of accepting himself, a person dismembers and reshapes himself. Self-acceptance leads to healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.

3. The ability to love

With love and self-acceptance, a person becomes capable of true, complete, healthy love. It is now possible to maintain a take-and-give balance in any relationship. What is generally called unhappy, painful love, is in fact a love addiction. When a partner, himself not being filled, tries to fill the inner emptiness with a partner. Love becomes the center, the basis of life and happiness. In the absence of an object of love, happiness disappears, life becomes dull and gloomy. There is no saturation in such a relationship; such a relationship depletes both partners. A healthy relationship is a union of two filled people, when everyone already has happiness and meaning in life, the partner becomes a part of this happiness, and not its basis.

4. Ability to build boundaries

A healthy person respects their personal space. Knows how to build boundaries with others, say "no". Doesn't try to be "comfortable", "good", "right". An unhealthy person, for fear of being rejected, rejected, for fear of condemnation, often violates his personal space, to the detriment of himself and his interests, values. A healthy person refuses a request if such a request is associated with a violation of his personal boundaries, does it delicately, but firmly. He also respects other people's boundaries and personal space.

5. Expression of emotions

Often people prefer to suppress their emotions, restrain themselves, "swallow" and "conserve" in themselves. As in the previous paragraph, this is done because of the fear of rejection, because of the fear of condemnation. Or it is done because of the peculiarities of upbringing imposed by the constitution, the culture of the family and / or the society in which a person grew up, when the expression of "uncomfortable" emotions is condemned: "You are a girl!", "Boys do not cry." A healthy person throws out his emotions, but he does it constructively, not to the detriment of others.

6. Ability to enjoy small things

The ability to enjoy small things is a quality of a healthy person. This does not mean austerity and rejection of any "difficult" pleasures, it is not humility. This means that along with the usual, everyday joys, a healthy person remains able to enjoy simple, unpretentious things (sunlight, feeling the wind, running through puddles, singing birds). An ability inherent in children that is often lost as they grow older. They are characterized by vitality and vitality. A healthy person enjoys life as such, the very opportunity to live.

7. Sense of humor

The sense of humor of a healthy balanced personality differs from sarcasm or irony, it is also not characterized by "black" humor or humor "below the belt". The laughter of a healthy person is harmless and does not hurt the feelings of other people; it is caused by comical moments in life that do not disparage anyone's dignity.

8. Mindfulness

A healthy, balanced person understands well the motives of his actions, is aware of his desires, distinguishes between emotional states and knows the reasons for their occurrence. He is honest with himself and with other people, he does not play, does not pretend, does not wear a mask. For him, the motives of other people's actions are also obvious, which makes a person acquire the ability not to be offended. I will emphasize that this is not the ability to forgive, but the ability not to be offended. Not even a skill, but a quality that becomes the result of awareness. The result of understanding oneself is also an understanding of others, the reasons and motives of their actions and behavior. A healthy, balanced person is checked against generally accepted norms and values, but has his own ideas about morality and ethics.

9. Acceptance of life

The optimist thinks that the glass is half full, the pessimist thinks that the glass is half empty. A healthy, balanced person sees that the glass is half empty and half full and he can, at will, either fill the glass to the brim, or drink it to the bottom. He accepts life in all its manifestations. He sees in the world both dirt and beauty, and out of all the abundance, diversity and versatility of the world, he chooses what he likes and this saturates his life. A healthy person considers both "failures", difficulties, and luck and luck, simply as the circumstances of life and reacts in the most optimal way. This skill is often referred to as "stress tolerance". But this is not stability, it is a different understanding, a different perception of what are called problems and difficulties. For him, these are tasks that require attention, comprehension and action, and not tension and effort of will.

10. Loyalty to the variability of beliefs

The ability to calmly accept new turns of life, its changes. In addition, in the presence of a solid inner core, a healthy person accepts the plasticity of his convictions and beliefs.

In the course of its development, a healthy person can change their views if they become closer to the truth. The idea of what is true is, of course, subjective and it is not at all necessary that these ideas are associated with the presence of any scientific, proven, reliable facts. More often, a healthy person relies on an inner, intuitive feeling of what is true.

A change in views and beliefs can occur when gaining new experience or new knowledge, information. A healthy person does not consider such a change as betrayal, irresponsibility and compliance.

(C) Anna Maksimova, psychologist