2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When we talk about relationships, we often mean such concepts as: intimacy, codependency-independence-independence and attachment.
Today we will talk about such a thing as attachment.
So, attachment is a formed emotional bond between two people. This emotional connection is based on trusting, honest and reliable relationships between people.
Very often when people talk about affection, they mean a boy-girl or mom-child relationship. But in these relationships, there is little pure attachment. This feeling is always mixed with feelings of love, duty and anger.
For example, a mother feels a sense of affection for her child (ready for intimacy, wants and needs it no less than the child). In moments of high spirits, the peak of feelings of happiness, the mother especially experiences a feeling of love for her child. In moments when the child does some "unwanted" actions, the mother may feel anger and irritation towards her child. And then, after the outburst, he can blame and reproach himself for a long time for a vivid and emotional reaction against the background of a sense of duty. “I’m a mother, I have to love and be patient” - I often hear from mothers in such situations.
Have you heard such words as "love affection"? So - this is a relationship between partners, in which, when one of them is lost, the second one feels unreasonable pain from emptiness and loss of another.
There is a stereotype in our society. To love is to endure pain and suffering. Although, love is a feeling when one "gives" in a relationship without expectations. It's a respectful and healthy relationship with freedom for everyone. And from freedom is born love and respect.
An unhealthy attachment is akin to a codependent relationship. Both of them are bad. But no one can interrupt them, they do not undertake to take responsibility.
But healthy attachment is a basic feeling of comfort, warmth, and security. In these relationships, you want to grow, develop, give without expectations and claims.
In the next article, I'll explain more about attachment styles. About their influence on the development and formation of us as a person.
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