2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Healthy relationships are built on respect, openness, and trust. They are based on the equality of partners and the belief that control is shared equally.
Here are some signs of a healthy relationship:
Respect - the ability to listen to another, appreciate his / her opinion, listen without judgment. Respect also includes trying to understand and reinforce the emotions of the other.
Trust and support - the ability to support the other's life goals and respect the other's right to his / her feelings, point of view, friends, activities and interests. It is giving value to a partner as an individual person.
Honesty and responsibility - the ability to openly and honestly communicate and admit their own wrong and, possibly, used in the past violence, and accept responsibility for their actions.
Shared responsibility - joint decision-making regarding family / relationships, mutual agreement on the division of responsibilities in the family, which both partners consider fair. In the case of parents, it is equal sharing of parenting responsibilities and responsible, non-violent behavior that allows children to be a role model.
Economic partnership - in a marriage / cohabitation, financial decisions are made by both partners with the assurance that both partners will benefit from these decisions.
Fair discussion - willingness to compromise, accept changes and search for a solution to the conflict that satisfies both sides.
Safe behavior - the ability to communicate and behave in such a way that both partners feel safe in the relationship. Both partners should freely and calmly express their feelings and talk about their intentions.
So is your relationship healthy?
A. Can you say what you like or admire about your partner?
B. Is your partner happy that you have friends?
C. Is he / she pleased with your accomplishments and ambitions?
D. Is your partner interested in and respectful of your opinion?
E. Does he / she listen to you?
F. Can your partner talk about his feelings?
G. Does your partner have a good relationship with his own family?
H. Does he / she have good friends?
I. Does your partner have interests other than you?
J. Can your partner take responsibility for their actions and not blame others for their failures?
K. Does your partner respect your right to make decisions about your own life?
L. Are you friends with your partner? Best friends?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, you are unlikely to be in a relationship that can turn violent. If you answered no to some or most of the questions, then you may be in an abusive relationship. Please answer the next block of questions.
How healthy is your partner?
a. When your partner is angry, does he / she break or throw things?
b. Does your partner lose his temper easily?
c. Is your partner jealous of friends or family?
d. Does your partner require an explanation of where you have been without him / her?
e. Does your partner think that you are cheating on him / her by talking or dancing with someone else?
f. Does your partner use alcohol or drugs almost every day? Does he / she have breakdowns?
g. Is your partner making fun or devaluation of you?
h. Does your partner think that in certain situations a man can hit a woman or a woman can hit a man?
i. Do you like yourself less than usual when you are with your partner?
j. Have you ever been afraid of your partner?
If you answered yes to the questions in this block, please be careful and think about your safety.
Are your boundaries healthy?
Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. Boundaries determine where to start and where to stop, which problems are yours and which ones are your partner's.
What are boundaries? "Just as we establish physical boundaries around our private property, we need to establish mental, emotional and spiritual boundaries around our lives in order to determine where our area of responsibility is and where not…." - Dr. Henry cloud
Each of us has boundaries that we do not express in many areas of our life. We set boundaries regarding physical intimacy and touch, words that can be used in communicating with us, honesty, emotional intimacy (the degree of openness with others). When one partner has a boundary problem, the relationship suffers.
We can talk about problems in setting and maintaining boundaries if a person:
~ Tells everything about himself.
~ Talking about intimate things at the first meeting.
~ Falls in love with the person he just met.
~ Falls in love with anyone who is friendly.
~ Becomes obsessed with the other person.
~ Acts on the first sexual impulse.
~ Goes to sexual intercourse for the sake of a partner, not for himself.
~ Goes against one's own beliefs and rights in order to please others.
~ Does not notice the violation of its own boundaries.
~ Doesn't notice unhealthy boundaries in other people.
~ Accepts food, gifts, touch, sex that he / she does not want.
~ Touches people without asking permission.
~ Allows others to take everything from themselves.
~ Allows others to define their lives.
~ Allows others to define themselves.
~ Believes that others are aware of his / her needs.
~ Expects others to meet his / her needs for granted.
~ Completely breaks down for others to take care of.
Translation - Psychological Studio of Polina Gaverdovskaya,
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