2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Otto Kernberg created a modern psychoanalytic theory of personality and his own psychoanalytic method, proposed a new approach to the therapy of borderline personality disorders and a new look at narcissism. And then he suddenly changed the direction of research and amazed everyone with a book about love and sexuality. Understanding the subtlest nuances of these delicate relationships can be envied not only by his fellow psychologists, but also by poets, perhaps.
Nine characteristics of mature love by Otto Kernberg
1. Interest in a partner's life plan (without destructive envy).
2. Basic Trust: mutual ability to be open and honest, even about their own shortcomings.
3) the ability to truly forgive, in contrast to both masochistic submission and denial of aggression.
4. Modesty and gratitude
5. General ideals as the basis for living together.
6. Mature addiction; the ability to accept help (without shame, fear or guilt) and provide help; fair distribution of tasks and responsibilities - as opposed to power struggles, blame and the search for the right and the wrong, which lead to mutual disappointment.
7. Persistence of sexual passion. Love for another, despite bodily changes and physical disabilities.
8. Recognition of the inevitability of loss, jealousy and the need to protect the boundaries of the couple. Understanding that the other cannot love us exactly as we love him.
9. Love and mourning: in the event of the death or departure of a partner, the loss allows us to fully understand what place he occupied in our life, which leads to the acceptance of new love without a sense of guilt.
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