Liberation From Negative States. Maurens Method

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05

Every day - at meetings, conferences, on business trips, on transport, at home - we are faced with states of excessive tension and even stress that we find it difficult to overcome.

It may be a fear of public speaking, when your voice trembles, and you cannot remember a single word of the presentation, going to the podium in front of your colleagues and partners. Or the need for a serious conversation with the boss is postponed due to wild fear. Or, if you need to fire a subordinate, you cannot say these unpleasant words to him in any way. And much more.

We call these states and emotions negative for ourselves. In fact, negative emotions do not exist as such. We ourselves assign to the states, the experience of which we would like to experience again, a positive color, and vice versa, the experiences, the repetition of which we avoid, we call negative. In fact, our emotions and states, both positive and negative, are our friends. This is the language our body speaks to us. He has no other, apart from diseases (but this is already the next stage of the dialogue). Having learned to understand this language, it will become easier for you to determine what is really happening to you, and to replace the current, limiting your possibilities, states with others, more resourceful for you at the moment. And this is one of the important steps in mastering such a popular topic today as the development of emotional intelligence.

How do I propose to do this?

If we describe the matrix of the space of the problem, then I would designate the coordinate system as follows: the current situation can be associated with external factors and with our internal experiences, we can focus at the moment on the task or on the relationship.

Then, in this system, the following key indicators are traced that can help us cope with the situation with their competent use: "connectedness", "focusing inward", "intention" or "goal" and "the process of achieving it." It turns out a very effective sequence of solving current problems for a self-learning system: noticed, realized, made a decision and acted, and then noticed feedback, realized, etc.

The use of a similar sequence of these key vectors can be seen in the Method of Release from Negative States, called the "Maurens Method", which was presented to me by my supervisor as part of my coaching practice, Peter Vritz.

And this method literally consists of the following:

Step 1. Notice

First recognize that something is happening, some feeling or emotion begins to dominate. Indeed, in order to make the necessary change in time, you need to notice that it is necessary. For example, you need to come out with a report on the results of your activities, and you started to panic.

Step 2. Name

• Concentrate all your attention on what is really going on. What it is?
• Name it. Is what you think is really happening?

• What is actually happening. For example, if we consider the above case with panic, then how is it expressed:

  • You have wadded feet and you cannot walk;
  • Your mouth is dry and you cannot speak;
  • And it also happens that you just stopped breathing;
  • Or have you forgotten what you need to say …

Step 3. Approve

• Accept the reality and truth of what is happening at the moment and that it is normal.

• Accept it, approve and thank it. After all, if we call the current state negative, then we will try to fight it and avoid it. But if we understand that our body is trying to tell us something, then we will listen and treat this information with gratitude. And it can literally report the following:

  • You need to find support, feel in your body, literally find your legs and feet and feel their support on the floor. After all, judge for yourself, you do not fall below him because you need to tell about your achievements.
  • You need to tidy up your own articulation apparatus. You are not a professional speaker who speaks to an audience every day. And you can massage the tongue of your gums on the way to the podium, it helps. And after leaving, allow yourself to drink a few sips of water. And even asking for water, you will already feel relief, since you have already begun to speak and you have nothing to fear anymore.
  • And breathing is another story altogether. When we are faced with experiences that are not very pleasant to us from the experience of the past, we really freeze not only with our whole body, but also often stop breathing. And breathing is life! So start breathing, take a couple or three deep breaths, and everything will go by itself.
  • We often forget the text because we focus too much on others and not on ourselves, or we run away with thoughts into the future, imagining our own failure (even if it is from past experience), or … In general, you need to return to yourself. At the moment. Here it is useful to collect what has already been said above: feel your body (legs, arms, head …), take a couple of inhalations and exhalations and go to perform.

Step 4. Let go

• Liberation comes with approval in the body. And you don't have to remember everything that I described above. You will not need to think about what to do with cotton feet, dry throat or forgotten text. If you followed the previous steps, the body will find all the solutions on its own, and the release will happen automatically. After all, when you make it clear to a person who is trying to explain something to you that you heard and understood him, he becomes silent. This is how your unconscious, when you hear and understand it, stops “screaming”. And if the release has not happened, then this may mean that you are not yet fully aware of what is happening, and you should return to Step 2 and work through Step 3 deeply in order to approve of the sensations in the body and give them an outlet.

Here is such an elegant, simple and working, tested by me and my clients, the method I present to you today for your release from "negative" states: Note, Name, Approve and Release!