Childhood Issues Of Child Education

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Imagine the picture: the husband comes home from work. His wife meets him on the doorstep and … right off the bat with a fist in the eye. And he answered her: "Sweetheart, beloved!". She goes to wash her hands, and the wife comes up from behind and kicks in the lower back. He again answered: "Sweetheart, beloved!". Enters the kitchen, asks for dinner.

And the answer is a rude "You can do it." And again: "Sweetheart, beloved" … What, isn't it? Then there is a reason to talk seriously.

There are frequent cases of "misunderstanding" between boys and girls in my practice. This especially applies to the age of the senior group of kindergarten and the period of elementary school. Boys seriously succumb to girls, which causes serious reasons for indignation in the parents of the latter. You can't beat girls. "You can't beat girls!" - they carry as a banner formidable accusations against the boys lost under the onslaught. - "They need to be protected!"

Succumbing to the general indignation, I also began to try to tune the fighters to a wave of protection, but I received an unexpected answer for myself: “What kind of girl is she ?! For no apparent reason, she pushes her foot in the stomach, bites, hits in the back when I pass by! I don't hit girls. Girls are good. And she's not a girl. I give her back."

Frankly, this answer made me think seriously about the very essence of the problem.

And this problem appeared to me in two important aspects:

The division of girls by boys into "girls proper" and "not girls", and, accordingly, different attitudes towards them;

Obviously not girlish behavior of girls towards boys;

The moral choice between "endure" and "give back to the girl."

Let's start with the very first: the perception of girls by boys. Paradoxical as it may seem, boys almost from the very birth know exactly who a girl is. Obviously, this innate knowledge is the phenomenon that today it is fashionable to call the term "archetype". At this sensual level, the boy captures the very essence of femininity: the opposite difference from them. These are skirts and dresses, smooth movements, quiet speech, light gait; these are humble laughter, tactful and polite conversations, radiated love and cordiality. Observing children's groups, I noticed that girls who have all these qualities are really practically not offended. The worst thing that happens to them is tugging at the pigtails, as an inept way to start the much-desired communication. But to beat, offend - no! They are either protected or completely bypassed, as an "incomprehensible creature" for a boy's perception of the world. (By the way, they do not beat boys who display such feminine qualities in their behavior that they are also often encountered).

But what if a girl is the complete opposite of these qualities? If she is cocky, unceremoniously getting involved in boyish games, imposing her opinion? If a girl begins to behave like a boy, then she quickly loses the model of femininity in his eyes and is perceived by him as an equal to him - as a boy. And the conversation with the boy is different. If a boy gets upset, he gets hit back.

Of course, this will not always be the case. All this will be characteristic only until the age of the onset of puberty in boys, when the "sensory perception" of sex differences will be replaced by social learning, coupled with a changed view of the world under the influence of hormonal changes in the body. Then they will realize that both owners of such different behavior are girls, and they will want to communicate with them any. Conflicts and fights will end, and a peaceful period of friendship and understanding will begin. But all this will come later. Much later. In the meantime … While there are "girls" and "boys in women's dress." But if the perception of gender differences in boys at this age is mostly sensual, then the behavior of girls is rather a pronounced fruit of learning. Of course, there are girls from birth who are more lively and active. But their activity is rather manifested in funny games, noisy friendships with boys and rarely results in fights. It is about such people that there is a well-known remark to everyone: “You are a good guy, Natasha!” team, but for children's hobbies. In the overwhelming majority of cases, among the owners of such behavior, role models are "Winx Fairies", "Sailormoon Warriors", "Little Bratz" and another hundred, in my superficial glance, completely arrogant and aggressive fairy-tale characters. Through cartoons, magazines, coloring pages, girls are forced to behave in an unusual way, to relate to the world and its place in it. I still remember with horror how one of the 6-year-old girls, at my request to draw herself as a princess, inspired (which scared me the most!) Puddles of blood and scattered axes around the smiling “princess” on a sheet of paper. And then she explained that she (the princess) was born to fight evil. And although this, of course, is an extreme, but the picture itself is disappointing.

After watching films where the heroines, on an equal basis with men, participate in fights for the victory of good and justice (which in itself is already doubtful, because a fight for good is also from a series of moral contradictions), they begin to realize this in real life. After all, the heroines of these films are always successful, they enjoy the attention of the opposite sex, and it is no secret that the puberty of girls is faster than the maturation of boys. This is one of the reasons. However, no matter how much one would sometimes want to shift the blame onto the shoulders of someone else, it is not only the media that are guilty. An important (and sometimes decisive) role is played by the behavior of the mother and father in the family. Remember the English proverb: “Don't bring up children. They will still not look like you. Educate yourself. If a girl's mother openly tells me in front of her daughter that she, too, “fought with boys for a joke” in childhood, what can we expect from a child ?! If a mother with her daughter allows herself to speak unflatteringly about her father, what attitude will the girl have towards boys ?! An apple from an apple tree, as they say, does not fall very far.

And the active propaganda of the nowadays fashionable phenomenon of the "woman-bitch", about which we have as a sign of the clogged bookshelves in stores and the high interest of consumers in this kind of sites, leaves an imprint on the perception of their behavior by parents: a girl learns to be independent, to have self-esteem, learns to be happy and successful in life. In fact, it turns out that by allowing such behavior in their children, parents destroy the rudiments of femininity, motivating this with a thirst for further success in life, a leadership position in life. This in itself is not bad. I would even say that it is very good, but … But is it worthy if the price is the honor and dignity of another person? The success of the followers of the modern science of "bitchology" in the field of creating a happy and strong family is probably worth talking about in another article, because this is also more like a "castle in the sand" than a practically proven reality. And now we have girls' desire to assert themselves in a boyish environment, a thirst for self-actualization through active and aggressive behavior. Coming to the analysis of the third of the aspects I had outlined earlier, I truly felt sorry for all the boys who found themselves in the grip of a choice between the moral taboo on fighting girls and the moral need to stand up for themselves.

Yes. A man must be able to endure. And his patience is welcomed both from the point of view of religion and from the point of view of morality. But it's one thing when a man suffers for his family, for faith, for the Fatherland, for the well-being of his loved ones. Then this patience is justified and justified. And it is quite another matter when he endures for the tyranny of a selfish girl. Uneducated - this is how the parents of the "injured" girl, and often teachers and educators, speak of the boy so conceived. But was the girl herself a model of good manners at the same time - the story is almost always silent about this. However, it would not be superfluous to remember that today, unfortunately, we have many women's colonies and prisons.

According to official statistics, the proportion of women serving sentences for crimes related to harm to health (usually the health of their own husbands) of varying severity is 17-20%, and this figure tends to increase from year to year.

So is it so immoral in this situation for a boy to stand up for himself?

In practice, of course, when talking about such topics, we are more likely to defend girls. But a girl, along with a boy, should know that to offend anyone with impunity is as impermissible for her as it is impermissible for someone to offend her. In folk language, saying: "Do not do to another what you do not want for yourself", "If you like to ride - love to carry sledges and so on." Emancipation is a double-edged sword. After all, if a woman wants to behave like a “man,” why does she not want to carry an answer worthy of a man ?!

I by no means urge the boys to actively "put in their place their offenders." But I don't advocate the latter's impunity either. This is a really moral question. And it is not easy to solve it even for an adult; what can we say about a child of preschool or primary school age! I only call on parents to take responsibility for their upbringing (equally for girls and boys). After all, they need to create their own family, and learn to live in peace and harmony, according to the laws of morality, right now.

It is no coincidence that I began this article with an eclectic family scene. All of us, adults, based on our experience of life, can easily think of how events would develop in a family, where a wife meets her husband with beatings and disrespect. But the relationships that we have in an adult family are nurtured on the basis of children's games and relationships.