2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What is the difference between wants and needs? Are these concepts equal?
Desire is the materialization of needs, their objectification. The needs themselves are not material, but they feed on what we get in the material world. In other words, desires are a kind of "I want", and need is "I am eating."
How do I know if I am getting what I want?
There are no direct signs that you are eating. In each case, you need to understand.
For example, you want to make a lot of money to buy whatever you want. There is no need for money, but money can satisfy the need for security, recognition, acceptance, and even love. The only question is how much money you need to eat. If you earn, earn, and this is the meaning of your life, but deep inside you remain hungry, then you missed with need. The need for recognition, love, and acceptance is not met by money.
What if you want and receive, but remain unfilled?
For example, if your need for love and intimacy, then you will not be saturated with many sexual relationships.
If your need is for security, then buying an iPhone will not solve anything either.
If your need is for recognition, then even the highest performance metrics in the library will not satisfy you. And branded clothing may not help either. And the latest Mercedes model too. We need to look for other options.
If after satisfying the desire, you feel rather emptying than fullness, then you missed with the desire.
How to figure it out?
Feel like a surgeon of your own psyche. Pay attention to yourself. In your life, there is certainly some kind of, let's say, a symptom that tells you that somewhere you are doing the wrong thing.
Are you satisfied every day? Are you happy? Do you want to go home in the evening and to work in the morning?
There can be hundreds of such questions, ask yourself. You definitely don't like something in life. Pay attention to this. What's this? Work, friends, inability to say no, lack of joy? Dig into this - when this discontent, this symptom, do you get it? When do you find yourself out of tune with happiness? Maybe this happens after communicating with some people? Maybe when you're not getting attention? Who are these situations associated with? Could it be that your symptom is associated with a specific person? Who is this person? How can he help you with this? Can you ask him about it?
Rely, if you will, on the scheme of self-study - what is happening now? - what is causing it? - what feelings do I have? - what person or group of people is involved in this? - how can I help myself?
Most of the problems in our life arise because we do not know our needs
And without realizing the needs, we form desires with a lost sight. We can smuggle the need like children. For example, we want attention and we are making a scandal. We want to be taken care of and we are starting to get sick. We want love and make money. There are hundreds of situations, thousands of examples, but only you can understand what is inside you, where you skip yourself and what you do not notice. And most often - in contact with other people.
Each person has inside, conventionally, a lottery drum, the needs of which are balls. And every time in contact with people, some balls appear on the surface - you notice them. And each time one of the balls turns out to be more empty than the others - in this place you are more hungry. This is a figure. Relatively speaking, if you want to eat candy, then eating cottage cheese, salad, fish and meat you will not stop wanting candy. So it is with the need balls - if your need for recognition is hungry more than the need for security, without sitting at home under the covers, you will not fill this need with anything.
Unconscious needs have the strongest influence on a person.
All your actions, all the choices you make, all steps in life are associated with needs and their embodiment - desires. The greatest happiness is to combine needs and desires, but this is not easy to do. This is the path and study of oneself. This is attention to yourself. It is contact with other people. This is the life you take responsibility for. And this, not a deficit. This is life to the fullest.
And a little tip
Need is an affirmation. If you don’t want something, it’s not a need or a desire. Look for what you want and what you eat. Good luck along the way!
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