2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
You just need to push off well and get off the usual route. I felt it especially well and clearly when I was learning to drive a car. I was very afraid of new roads. I'd rather wind the extra miles on the highway than take a shortcut through a few small towns. Because of this fear, for a long time I could not get to the places I dreamed of: Plymouth, Concord, Rock Port, the open-air museum De Cordova, the ethnic village in the Old Bridge Village … Once I realized that I was depriving myself, stupidly plying only those the roads that I know.
I began to persuade myself: I have a navigator, I can read road signs, if it gets really scary, I will stop and catch my breath. In the end, I can always go back.
Perhaps this is the main thing - we can always go back. When planning a change, allow yourself to discard it. Allow yourself to remain who you are. To allow is not to do. It only means your agreement to do differently and be different. Permission relieves tension and halves the fear of failure. The opportunity to go back calms and gives strength, and the next step does not seem difficult, but quite the opposite - exciting and interesting: what is there, beyond that turn?
Sometimes force majeure circumstances arise. Such that you cannot influence them in any way. But if the process of changes is started, it is better not to stop it. And the mantra "I can always go back" will help you hold out until the next comfortable state.
What happens when we change? We want to stop being annoyed, swearing, being indifferent, overly compliant, heavy smokers, notorious procrastinators …
I'll tell you, again, using the example of my driving: the levels of changes and emotional manifestations here are so bright and clear that you could not imagine better. By the way, life has played a curious joke with this driving. For many years in a row, the training participants and I have been dismantling the spiral of competence development through driving skills. At the same time, my place in any car has always been a passenger. I don’t know, I spoke two or three hundred times. Only once I was asked if I can drive a car. No, I didn’t lie, I said so - I don’t know how, but now we have other goals. Probably, I tired of fate with my theoretical calculations, and she decided to arrange a real practice for me.
THE DISCOMFORT
The very thought that I needed to go driving caused an unpleasant sucking in my stomach. After the decision was made, classes were postponed to Monday, and then to the first day of the new month. A few hours before the lesson, I began to think about what reason I could think of not to go - and I could not find it. Something was happening in my stomach, my hands were sweating, my heart was pounding wildly. I wanted to go back and never again remember this nightmare - to learn to drive. At the wheel, the state was aggravated: I clung to him, like a murderer to a victim, and thought only about when those two hours of horror would pass.
The key condition is unbearable discomfort. The only desire is to throw everything to hell, to return back to the bosom of even the usual, sometimes sore, completely hopeless, or really harmful, but such a dear quiet haven. It is at this stage that we most often slip into our previous state. We find thousands of important and intelligible arguments why we should stay here.
EVERYONE who has chosen the path of change goes through this. When we realize that discomfort is inevitable, it becomes easier to get over it. And it is replaced by
ANGER.
And this is good. Anger is activity, a willingness to act, to be in motion. “Why the hell are you yelling at me?” I complain to my teacher.- Yes, I drove into the pit, but nobody was hurt! I stopped right in front of a pedestrian, but I didn't run over him! Yes, I'm driving slowly, and I don't care what the traffic jam is behind me! Did you go to red? So there were no cars! And you think it's easy to follow the traffic lights, look at the road and switch your turns ?!"
Now I went to classes without much joy, but driven by challenges: oh, need to drive along these winding streets? Well, hold on, now I'll give you a ride, only then blame yourself! Themselves contacted me for two hundred hryvnia per hour.
At this stage, the new state begins to captivate us, and the willingness to prove to everyone and, above all, to ourselves, that we will succeed, inspires and inspires. ANGER turns into a healthy activity, from which a light
JOY.
Wow! I'm on my way! Itself! Here you need a little slower, and here turn on the turn … Oops! I learned to look in the right mirror! Stop! Red light! I will rest a little … And what, I like it! And I'm not confused about the pedals. Wow! I! His! Overtake! Huh! Class! And how did I not go before ?!
Joy overwhelms us. We suddenly discover that we have many new sensations, the world has become more beautiful and richer, and friendlier, and more open, and ready for our new exploits. But in fact - we become such. And the past is already remembered as a dream - it seems, and it was not us.
Time goes by and JOY changes
COMFORT.
I feel good in the car. Sometimes I feel like this is the only place where I can be myself. I no longer grip the steering wheel with the grip of a bull terrier, my hands are relaxed and they themselves know where to turn. I watch the road without stress, I see what is happening not only right in front of me, but also on the right, left, behind - the mirrors have become my good friends. Roads are not only lined stripes, they form part of the landscape, and I am happy to watch rocks flying by, and amazingly beautiful flowering trees, and houses typical of one-story America. With no loss of driving, I can now listen and review my English lessons.
We feel good in a comfortable state. And the habit, which until recently caused a whole fireworks of terrible passions, becomes our essence. We have become better completely. It seems now you can go for
REST.
At rest, the person is asleep. Nothing bothers him at rest. At rest we see dreams - and nothing happens in life.
Can you imagine what would happen if I suddenly fell asleep while driving? Excessive fantasies that snatch us out of reality - there too! Contentment with yourself is also peace!
Now, if this seems to you, you should know - this is a call! The time has come for new changes. New roads.
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