Illusion In Therapy: "I Will Change And The World Will Change"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Somewhere in the therapy came the myth that if I “work out” and change, then the whole world around me will change and everything in my life will automatically become good by itself. There is some truth in this, but things are not quite what many people think.

How do these expectations look in the metaphor: "I enter the metro car, all worked out, at rush hour - and the entire male population of the metro happily gets up to make way for me." But in reality it turns out: "Ha, no matter how it is!".

There are men who have an attitude that in the subway it is necessary to give way to women (any or some specific categories). If you fall into his category, then he will make way for you. Even if you are not worked out in therapy.

But it may be such that your attitude is “I don’t need to give up my seat !!! I have no right to be cared for !!! is too strong, and then even such a man will be forced to ignore you, contrary to his attitudes.

There are men who have an attitude that women do not need to give up their seats, for example, because "he is a kukusiche himself, and a mamusichek should take care of him." Therefore, even if you have worked even to the level of a goddess, he will not give way to you. Well, perhaps for a woman of the "Goddess +" level, she can make an exception during the merger of Aldebaran with Alpha Centauri.

There are men who can react and give way or not give way to a woman in some way adequately to the situation.

Will the result of therapy be that you will enter exactly that subway car at rush hour, in which there are men of the first type, and it will be you who will give way to them? Maybe. But not a fact. Not a fact at all. Although it is not excluded.

Then what will be the result of the therapy?

You will be firmly convinced that you are entitled to your place on the metro. But at the same time, you will understand that no one owes it to you. You will have enough strength and skill to approach someone and ask them to give you a seat. You will gradually become more sensitive to choosing those who can yield over those who cannot.

If you are refused (and this may also be the case, even if you are superbly worked out and even if you have chosen a suitable candidate), then you will not crumble from this, do not fall into resentment and thoughts “I’m shit, the world is shit, everything is useless, I’ll go die on swamps”, you can experience it and ask someone else.

If it turns out that in your carriage not a single man is ready to give you a seat (and this may also be the level of your elaboration here - the number of * udaks and their distribution around the planet will not change much from your elaboration), you can do it survive, not taking it personally, and find some kind of creative way out of this situation (ask women, transfer to another car, etc.).

As for * the ugly people (toxic people) around you. They were, are and will be. From your healing in therapy, they will not heal by themselves. Although, perhaps, you will cease to consider someone as such. And someone, on the contrary, will start.

Will you “accept and love” them more? Maybe. But not a fact. In principle, why do you need to accept and love * udaks, what's the point?

But you will be able to kick them out of your close circle, and in the far circle (where they will inevitably be, simply because they are in the world), you will be able to deal with them somehow not particularly stressful for yourself (although it is also not a fact that this is will be straightforward quite easily and painlessly).

In your close circle, you can choose adequate people who are in tune with you. But there won't be too many of them. Simply because, in general, there are fewer of them than those of whom we spoke above.

What will happen in the relationship with your partner? Much depends on the partner. Both parties are responsible for the relationship, not "just you, because you are in therapy."

You were like two pieces of a puzzle that converged on problematic speakers. The shape of your puzzle piece has changed and is healthier. For you to continue to be together, his puzzle piece must also change accordingly. Will he want it? Maybe. But not a fact.

What will happen to the money? Will millions fall from the sky? Maybe. But not a fact. What will happen: You will be able to see more opportunities, and it will be easier for you to implement these opportunities.

That is, you still have to act. Something might be easy and just happen by itself. But not all. Opportunities will open up, the right people will appear. But you still have to notice yourself, choose, do.

Difficulties will also be. It will become easier to overcome "old" difficulties, some will no longer be perceived as difficulties at all. But there will also be "level up" - new tasks will appear that are more difficult than the previous ones. But it will be interesting.

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