2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Is it important to set goals?
In the Universe, action is primary. Those who have carefully observed the behavior of children will immediately understand me. I have three children, and raising them, I see perfectly well that for them activity is more important than a goal. Childhood behavior is characterized by aimless redundancy of actions. There is no room for reflection and conscious goal setting. The result of a child's actions for a child is unpredictable. Therefore, children are not afraid to make mistakes. Acting randomly, the child learns the main thing: to act in a situation of uncertainty. It is this skill that adults often lack.
Don't be afraid to act and make mistakes
Mindfulness follows experience. First the action, then the result, and only then there is an opportunity for a conscious (with goal setting) action. In the process of coaching, I often face the situation that a person is “overwhelmed” with goals. I once worked with a girl who was struggling with an inferiority complex. Being quite successful in the professional field, she suffered acutely from the fact that she was "living someone else's life." The point was that she spent all her energy trying to meet the expectations of her very domineering mom. Despite the fact that she set goals and achieved them, she was a deeply unhappy person. The older a person is, the more definite the world he seeks to live. And this is where the trap of awareness lies. Adults differ from children in that they often spend too much time and energy on setting goals, striving to calculate everything in such a way as to ensure that failure is avoided.
The goal should take a person outside of his picture of the world
An acquaintance of mine, unfortunately, sees nothing but her children. Her whole world revolves only around her children and their interests. The paradox is that her children are bored with such a mother. She puts all her energy into the children, but instead of gratitude, they are simply rude to her. Subconsciously, her children want to break out of their mother's picture of the world.
People often set goals only within the framework of their picture of the world. Within the framework of the picture of the world, which is formed by their experience. But to act on the basis of previous experience means only to be affirmed in the correctness of your picture of the world. A picture of the world is a picture because it does not reflect the whole world in its versatility; it is just an imprint that arises as a result of life experience.
The real goal of life is not set, it is found. The real goal does not arise as a projection of previous experience, it takes a person beyond his boundaries. On the one hand, such a goal was not predetermined for me, but at the same time it cannot be said that it was set by me myself. We can say that such a goal finds a person by itself. In other words, such a goal is called Sense.
Meaning is a goal that makes it possible to feel your Value
The goal is set, the meaning is revealed. This is an intimate encounter with the universe. “A person should not ask what is the meaning of his life, but rather should realize that he himself is the one to whom the question is addressed,” said Viktor Frankl. Meaning is what makes it possible to feel, exactly to feel, and not just to understand its value. And now it can no longer be said that I achieve my goal, rather the found Meaning prompts me to act. Meaning gives birth to Purpose. Purpose is how I practically act in the world, embodying the acquired Meaning. Here, too, I cannot but recall the words of the great psychologist Viktor Frankl: “There is no situation in the world that does not contain a core of meaning. But it is not enough to fill life with meaning, you need to perceive it as a mission, realizing your responsibility for the end result”.
Purpose implies responsibility for the realization of the Meaning
“Everyone has their own special calling. Each person is irreplaceable, and his life is unique. And therefore the task of each person is as unique as his ability to fulfill this task is unique. (Victor Frankl) Finding your Destiny means responding to the Call of the Universe. Embodying the Purpose, I am not just an active person, I become an active Co-creator of the Universe. By acting, I do not just achieve my goals, I conduct an equal Dialogue with the Universe. My life, work, family are all the space for the realization of the Purpose.
The search for the Meaning of Life and Purpose begins with the recognition of one's total incompetence and the limitations of one's life experience. Only when I understand that I really do not know anything about the Universe, the Universe is ready to enter into Dialogue with me. Life becomes a space of opportunities for the realization of the Purpose. "There is no situation in which life would not have given us the opportunity to find meaning, and there is no such person for whom life would not keep some business ready." (Victor Frankl)
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