2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Facing reality is always at least difficult, I often talk about it. Usually, they come to therapy with the secret hope of a quick solution and clear instructions on what needs to be done and what absolutely cannot be done. Often, the relationship with psychotherapy begins with the thought that now, in a couple of sessions, everything will literally decompose on the shelves, cleansed of stiffness, dust and mold and sparkle with rainbow reflections in the permanently shining sun of positive life. But the reality is still a little different
In reality, when you come to therapy, a miracle does not happen. Because there is not the fastest and far from easy work ahead. And there are several points that are important to accept and realize in order for the process to be successful. Like what therapy is not magic, and the therapist is not a magician … And no matter how cool / kind / charming / understanding / accepting he may be, he will not be able to save you, just as he will not be able to create magic by waving his pensively symbolic analytical eyelashes.
To change dramatically is from a series of fiction, because in reality everything works a little differently. That is, if nature has endowed you with a choleric temperament with a slight touch of sanguine cheerfulness, then even a five thousandth session with the psychoanalytic psychoanalyst himself will not make you phlegmatic, accepting all the gifts of the world of Zen Buddhism. And this means that you are limited in your resources to achieve such desired happiness … And you always (you know?), You always have to rely on the resources that you have, just adding new methods to them. And this means that not everything and will not always be easy.
In one of the sessions, you realize that the choice is not only about the further series of decisions, responsibility and consequences. But also that choice is about no further alternatives … And then it will become clearer why this choice was not accepted for so long.
There will come a moment when you will understand that the world, in general, does not care whether you exist or not. The closest environment, of course, not, but in general - the world does not care about you … And over time, you may realize that your efforts for a relationship are not enough, and no matter how hard you fight, hitting the ball into an empty net on an empty football field is not the same as playing football.
Sooner or later there comes a point when you begin to realize that with such beloved and colorful illusions you will have to part … And this is the very moment "X", the starting point for a new life. Because it is at this dusty intersection, beyond the bend of which you cannot see beyond the road, that you understand the truth. And it is that you can stop catching up with the departing train, which, in principle, does not exist, but you can direct all this ton of energy to achieve goals that are important to you.
And now, turning behind this dangerous crossroads by its unknown, you realize that the only person you can be in this life is yourself. And along with this boring truth, one more - about how much T NS you can be weak, vulnerable and completely helpless … Before fear, pain, feelings of rejection, painful laughter.
Coming to therapy is a path for the strong because it is not an easy job
And when you realize as twice two, where are yours, and where are other people's desires / aspirations / fears, when you get stronger together with your own boundaries, you will understand that this power has always been with you. And therapy … It only helped to realize it.
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