2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
An anxious 42-year-old man sits in the chair opposite. Periodically blows his nose, is embarrassed by this and is even more anxious.
She says that she suffers from her own hypochondria and suspiciousness, that she is constantly feeling unwell. He wants it not to be imagined.
Wandering around the floor around my chair, she talks about my childhood, about my mother.
He remembers himself well as a seven-year-old. Mom raised him herself, there was no other help. I rarely saw my father. Mother was always in a state of fatigue and irritation, asked not to bother her with anything, and to be quieter. I tried.
He remembers that all elementary school he was tormented by some strange sluggish runny nose. He never really got through. When classmates began to tease him with a jerk because of the constant blowing his nose, Igor timidly asked his mother: "can he treat me somehow?.. otherwise I'm tired of these snot."
“Don't make it up,” said the tired mother, “is there no temperature?.. everything is fine with you.
Igor stopped inventing and didn't bother his mother anymore. The teachers at school both hinted and directly said that it would be necessary to deal with the snot, but Igor got used to them and sniffled, replied that everything was fine with him because there was no temperature.
At school, relations with the guys did not work out, the boys treated him with some kind of indifferent contempt, the girls laughed. I decided to be quiet so as not to annoy anyone. By the age of 12, he felt that he needed a friend, tried to be friends with a neighbor on his desk, it did not work out, he somehow looked through him and did not react in any way.
He asked mom timidly about dad, that he could see him more often somehow, more often than once a month, to discuss different men's topics..
Mom said that difficulties in adolescence are a normal thing and dad has nothing to do with it, There is no need to invent any special problems for yourself.
Igor understood, began to quietly read different books, developed his imagination.
I noticed that after each refusal to invent, a sluggish runny nose became more active and created the illusion of being busy … with indisposition.
He graduated from high school, went to college and somehow unnoticed unlearned.
The girls liked different ones at the institute, but somehow I was not sure all the time and this runny nose again..
I went to work in an advertising agency, but the management was waiting for interesting ideas and creativity, but there were difficulties with inventing … I did not allow myself. But he perfectly implemented the approved and approved ideas of others.
By the age of 36, he began to earn good money, the girls began to look closely.
The girl Nina showed special interest, invited me home, hinted at family happiness.
In general, he brought Nina to acquaint her with her mother. The bride is.
Mom sensed the girl's serious intentions and very much approved.
However, family life began to distort, not having time to somehow get settled. Nina was clearly in no hurry to go home in the evenings, did not do her housework, talked a lot about her friends, their problems and the need to help them in their free time from work.
Igor tensed, took offense, but just in case he did not invent anything superfluous and waited for something to settle down somehow. He hinted at the topic of children, planted the magazines "my child". Nina promised many children, but no one was born in 5 years.
Igor furtively complained to his mother that somehow Nina was not behaving like a family, she didn’t seem to want children … and in general, it seemed that she didn’t love..
Mom said that a normal woman at 35 years old cannot but want children, that there is no need to invent problems, maybe she should get medical treatment and everything will work out.
A year later, Nina began to often spend the night with a friend. Friends hinted that her friend was called Oleg, that this was the one who left her before Nina wanted to marry Igor.
A runny nose began, it did not go away at all.
Every time Igor suppressed his suspicions, insecurity, resentment, his body and psyche, exchanging glances, released a familiar joint product called a sluggish runny nose.
He performed a lot of important tasks: he distracted from what was happening, taking away from the thought "who am I?" in thinking about "what's wrong with me?", gave permission to ignore problems and conflicts under the pretext of malaise, symbolically expressed tears of resentment and weakness.
Six months later, Nina announced that she was expecting a baby and became especially anxious.
A boy was born, beautiful and healthy, but not at all like mom or dad. Nina did not comment and devoted all her time to the child. A year later, she expressed a desire to divorce due to "lack of understanding." I immediately filed for alimony.
When Igor told his mother about the changes in life and the amount of monthly payments for the child, she abruptly began to invent … a strategy.
I took Igor to do a DNA test to establish paternity, hired a good lawyer.
Paternity was not confirmed, the court decision on alimony was reviewed. Fictions about infidelity have taken on their unsightly but real guise.
Having gone through all the painful legal procedures, realizing the reality of the facts from which he diligently hid himself, Igor finally allowed himself to "invent". There was anger, gym and self-esteem. But the runny nose went away without saying goodbye …
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