Thirst For Possession

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Another popular query (one of the most popular) is "how to stop loving a person"? How to stop suffering because of love? How to stop loving if this love is painful and painful? And how do you forget a person?

And then a cognitive dissonance arises: why get rid of such a wonderful, bright feeling as LOVE? Love is a wonderful feeling when you want to smile, when you wish your loved one good and happiness, when your soul is warm just from the realization that he is in this world.

Love cannot torment, on the contrary, this is a life-affirming feeling! The inability to satisfy their thirst for possession of the object of love becomes agonizing.

When a small child sees a beautiful toy that arouses interest, he wants to GET it. He wants to own, to own a toy. Because the child thinks in such a way that since I like it, then I NEED it. Desire and need for a child are inseparable. They are exactly the same thing. It seems that what you like is really necessary. That is, the toy becomes not only interesting, there is a need for it!

And such an inner child lives inside a person who feels suffering from the impossibility of satisfying this thirst for possession. This state is called frustration. And when they talk about painful love filled with suffering, then in fact, they mean this very frustration, which has absolutely nothing to do with love!

The desire to possess a favorite object (whether a person or a toy) is completely natural for a child. Experiencing frustration, learning to let go of it, to live is an important stage in the process of growing up. As well as the acquisition of the ability to distinguish desire from need. The easiest way to cope with this is the beloved children, who were given due attention and care in childhood.

What should the rest of us do? What if you find this very frustration in yourself?

First, separate it from love. First, try to practice, feel these states separately. That is, imagine the image of a loved one and say to yourself mentally "I love him." And feel this love. How it is felt, where the feeling of love arises in the body, what color is this love, what is its smell, sound, color. Take a deep breath in and out.

Further, in the same way, presenting your object of love, mentally (or aloud) say: "I want him" (not referring to sexual attraction, namely the desire to possess this person, the desire for separation, responsiveness of feelings). And feel this thirst for possession, its desaturation. Where does this feeling arise in the body? How does the body react to it? What is the smell, sound, consistency of this feeling? Take a deep breath again and exhale.

Do you feel the difference? Perhaps the first time the difference will not be noticeable. Then just repeat this process. When you clearly feel the desire for possession, highlight the frustration, separate it from love, then just breathe in this feeling. Imagining it in the body (you can put your hand on the part of the body where it arises for better concentration), presenting its smell, sound. And breathe as if you are inhaling this smell, inhaling this sound, this sensation in the body, this color. Breathe until only a warm, light feeling remains. Until there is no discomfort in the body.

I'll make a reservation right away that this is just ONE of the tools for working with the experience of dissatisfaction in love. Of course, if you are in a codependent, toxic relationship, then you will need additional support from a psychologist. But you can take this practice into your arsenal for quick self-help with a painful experience of frustration.

Take it to your bookmarks, share with your friends and do not hesitate to ask for help, sign up for a consultation!:)