"I Don't Want Anything " Loss Of Meaning Or Where To Get Strength For Life

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Emptiness and longing. There is neither strength nor desire to move anywhere. There is no energy to do anything either. It is also very dreary and "self-accusatory." After all, something must be done! Only this is what, and the main thing is "how"? If you don't feel like doing anything …

Inside there is a deep feeling of longing, falsehood, untruth, and, in all honesty, the uselessness of everything you do.

It really is - why? What's the point?

Where does the meaning go

After all, it used to be! And there was joy and desire, and drive, and buzz at times. And the aspiration was and the eyes were burning, and everything was arguing in the hands, and it worked!

So what happened?

Why did “there and then” work out, wanted and could, but “here and now” - no?

It made sense

There was a goal

For example, to fulfill a dream - to go abroad, get married, start a family.

Buy a house, give birth to children, take place in a profession.

Finish your studies, get a diploma, create your own website, start an internship.

Find a good job, start making money.

Go to freelance, get the long-awaited freedom and work "for yourself."

Or quit this job, start a new life, do what I want.

The goal is achieved, I am here. What's next?

It would seem - live and rejoice, you are already there, where you have been going for so long …

BUT…

Firstly, the world in fantasies and dreams looked somewhat different, more charming and attractive than real life turned out to be. He was perfect - without scattered socks, snotty children and a husband in a bad mood. The breaking of expectations with reality is a dreary disappointment.

Is it worth doing anything at all, striving for anything, if everything is so?

Secondly, anxiety appears. Here, at this stage of my life, I have not yet been. What to do? What if I can't cope?

Maybe you shouldn't do anything to avoid making mistakes?

There was a world that dictated these goals and organized life

There was an organization, a firm, production, plans, departments, reports. Everything was clear and on the shelves. Thinking about “what I want”, “do I need it”, “and if I want, then how” - was not required. Everything was "in charge" planned and "above" it was decided.

There was a person with whom the meaning of life was created. with whom dreamed, planned, done, walked. which was woven tightly into the canvas, as it seemed "all" of my life

And now he was gone.

He left, betrayed me and lives somewhere his own life.

Or He died. And it will never be again. And from this it covers with indescribable melancholy and despair. And while the point is only to allow yourself to cry, to do what you want to do, even if from the outside it seems meaningless. And when the tears return, cry again until they begin to bring relief, and crying no longer brings pain. By the time when the tears will give comfort and relief, when slowly, slowly, quietly will come the acceptance that the world will never be the same again. And in this other world I am allowed to live, to see the change of seasons, grass and foliage, the seething sea, to hear the voices of people and the singing of birds. And then letting go, forgiveness and farewell will gradually come.

And new meanings and powers will appear for a great long life.

An event happened that divided life into "before" and "after"

This event changed me. The truth is, I'll never be the same again. My world has changed. Something is gone forever. And in this new world I can have new plans and I can also live.

If the point is something else

What makes your life meaningless? Where is your energy? What desires?

Maybe what you are doing now, and what you are doing now, has long been disgusting for you, but it is too expensive, troublesome to decide on changes, and will "come out sideways" for your loved ones?

Yes, there is a price for any change. There are no free elections. Without changing anything, you pay too. Emptiness, depression, boredom, suppressed by anger, hatred of others and self-contempt.

Change destroys the established balance in the family system. The family is "shaken", latent conflicts become apparent, and what was previously suppressed comes to the surface.

If you decide to follow yourself, to satisfy your developmental needs, whether in closeness, in recognition, you will have to talk a lot, convey, explain, bring your desires and dreams to the surface, ask, persuade, explain again, meet with refusal, with misunderstanding, and sometimes completely unexpectedly - with the support and recognition of your right to be what you want and vital. We'll have to sacrifice something. But it will be your choice, your path, and your adult awareness of the pay.

If you have no strength now, it means that they are going somewhere

They can go to keep your dissatisfaction and discontent under control, to keep strong feelings, there can be resentment and anger. Or to hold back the tears, your feelings of despair and powerlessness. They can all go into anxiety, be blocked by fear of the future, which does not allow living in the present.

These barriers are like dams in a river - we unconsciously set them ourselves, squeezing the flow of our energy.

When you create such a “dam”, a swamp forms, frogs begin to croak, everything is covered with duckweed, boredom and laziness come. "What will, what not will …".

When you start looking for your own desires, you break through the first stone in the dam.