What's Wrong With Bodypositive?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

"The Americans are so exhausted in the fight against obesity that they decided to create Bodypositive" or "Bodypositive is needed for those who cannot and do not want to take care of themselves" or "Bodypositive is self-deception and complacency" … It is pointless to list variations on the theme, there are many of them and they are are found wherever there is a distorted understanding of body positive (BP) as such. The essence of the distortion reduces PD to obesity and neglect, while this trend affects much more important elements for maintaining physical and mental health.

As a clinician, I often face the fact that rejection of one's own body is at the root of various psychological disorders, such as dysmorphophobia, social phobia, depression (including secondary, developing against the background of a somatic illness), RPD (including orthorexia), GAD, OCD, IBS, somatoform disorder, etc. We start with perfectionism, a little neuroticism about our appearance, low self-esteem, self-doubt and rejection, and soon our body becomes a hostage, the imaginary cause of all failures.

If we want to maintain physical and mental health, it is important for us to remember that the body is first and foremost our friend, a part of our I. And in the case when it is difficult to make friends with it due to claims, BP can help us. But in order to understand that BP is not limited to issues of excess weight, I divided its manifestation into 7 categories, and highlighted the myths associated with BP in relation to each.

What's wrong with Bodypositive? What does Bodypositive really say?

1. Constitution

The constitution is not only anthropological data (height, weight, eye color, etc.), but also features of neurohumoral regulation (hormones, neurotransmitters, metabolites, etc.), and psychological characteristics inherent in a person genetically. So, for example, we know that asthenics are light-skinned people, thin, with sparse hair, thin arms / legs, small breasts, a rational mindset, a tendency to follow the rules and binary thinking. Picnics opposite synthetics and transformers, altruists, low, with increased fat deposition (everywhere) and large breasts. Innovators, activists and achievers are people of athletic build, broad shoulders with well-developed muscles, thick hair and dark skin. And, of course, dysplastics are analysts and fans of their interests, people with a disproportionate body structure.

Since the article is not about constitutional features, we will not go into the details of feature overlays. What's important to understand now:

- we cannot change the genetic data by diligently playing sports or special nutrition, and slow metabolism is "karma" for 40% of us;

- for the most part, people strive to find the image of an athlete, but 80% of us will never be able to achieve it, or they will imitate it artificially with the help of hormones, supplements and constant physical exertion that deplete the psyche;

- each of the types can gain excess weight, everyone can get rid of unnecessary kilos / grams, but a picnic will never become an asthenic and vice versa, and there is no "golden mean" between them;

- each type may have problems accepting their body (not every woman wants to be an athlete, it is difficult for an asthenic to gain weight / increase breasts, but to lose a picnic, while a dysplastic will always have a certain part of the body that stands out from the general ensemble of harmony … and yes, a wide bone is not a myth, but something that can drive people with a normal BMI crazy). Therefore, if we consider something beautiful and correct, this does not mean at all that others see their body that way.

What's wrong with body positivity? This is when we think that overweight people need BP. And even more so when we think that BP is intended to justify the laziness of "self-care" or "obesity."It is just as wrong to "admire" someone else's thinness, muscles or some part of the body, not knowing the person's attitude to the above.

What does body positivity really say? What are our bodies are different from nature and this is natural … Finding beauty, value and uniqueness in your type is an important step in accepting and gaining the ability to see beauty, value and uniqueness in others. Accepting your constitution (not only muscularity, thinness, imbalance or fatness, but also the associated character traits) is equally important for maintaining both physical and psychological health.

And now, it's better to refrain from compliments to the body of unfamiliar people;)

2. Transformations (imbalances, hormones and growing up)

The most vulnerable category to eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, and social anxiety disorder are adolescents. More often they are ready for acne and growth spurt, but not many people know that the body can change "parts". Do boys have chest swelling? Do limbs develop faster and become like "flippers"? Disproportionately large hips or belly in girls? Before growth, a jump in weight? "Huge" torso, short legs? Early or late puberty?

What's wrong with body positivity? This is when parents postulate BP in the style of “just love yourself,” “don't listen to anyone,” “you are always beautiful,” ignoring the real experiences of children.

What does body positivity really say? Worries about your appearance cannot be suppressed by "positive psychology". When the inside does not match the outside, our psyche splits. This is why adolescents are so vulnerable to psychosomatic disorders. Get to know your body and understand changes, treat transformations like a researcher important at any age because there is no acceptance without understanding. Do not discount or ignore, support the child in feelings and help him cope with anxiety about his condition.

3. Disability and pathology

This is where it made sense to write about obesity, but in fact there are many more options when PD is a prerequisite for preventing anxiety and depression, recovery or improving the quality of life.

If you do not have a birthmark on the floor of your face, if you do not suffer from vitiligo, psoriasis, various dermatitis and even acne, it will be difficult for you to understand what range of feelings such a person experiences before each going out, and even more so before the need to make contact with another person. It is not easy for people to accept the presence of a disability, both a physical handicap and a physiological one. You can “hate” your body not only because of obesity, but also because of diabetes, irritable bowel syndrome, somatoform disorders, reproductive dysfunction, poor eyesight and hearing, etc. You can, but not necessary.

What's wrong with body positivity? This is when people “on the positive” cheer up, devaluing other people's worries about appearance and health (“be glad that you only have sprinkled elbows, someone has wounds all over your face,” “no legs, but your brains are golden,” “your spots add zest to the body "). Also when they break boundaries by giving unsolicited advice from "positive" motives to uncover the secret of healing. Or just do show their disposition (such as acceptance), focusing on the disease ("look everyone, I hold his scaly hand and I'm fine"). They seem to think that being body positive is about demonstrating positive acceptance of someone else's illness. It is even more difficult when they formulate all of the above in the "correct form".

What does body positivity really say? Respect yourself and your body, focus on a healthy lifestyle and harmonious care and care. Anything that can be cured must be cured. The same that incurably becomes a part of our personality. Accept your defect = accept yourself, and enjoy life at the highest possible level … To be body-positive in relation to others means, first of all, to observe the boundaries, not to talk about someone else's body if you were not asked, not to give an assessment, advice and not to single out a person with an ailment, but to see in him, first of all, a person.

4. Social norm or sexism

In fact, in our society, there is no such norm that determines whether your legs are shaved or not, to do a manicure or to cut a nail to the flesh, to use decorative cosmetics or not, to get pierced / tattooed or spend all your free time on grooming procedures … "pseudo-norms" based on a sexist rationale. And the point here is not at all about feminism, but about what this or that person considers convenient for himself (for example, it is difficult to play musical instruments with manicure, and the skin without decorative cosmetics is less prone to inflammation). But for this convenience he has to make excuses all the time? Defend your right to befriend your body as it is? Nope.

In order to check whether a certain "norm" is elementary sexism, just ask yourself the question "is it permissible for a person of the opposite sex?"

What's wrong with body positivity? This is when it is believed that a well-groomed and beautiful person can be considered only when he corresponds to our idea of beauty, albeit an informal image. Like "I, as a body-positive person, accept that you cannot lose weight, but is it really so difficult to shave your legs / tint your lips?"

What does body positivity really say? "My body is my business" … Respect the boundaries of others as your own. Mature men and women decide for themselves what, how and when to do with their bodies and most likely do not need external evaluation, advice and opinions. If your point of view is important, you will be asked about it.

5. Fashion

Pale skin or sunburn, lush hips or mild anorexicity, full lips or natural care, from 4 breast size to 2… Each person deals with their anxiety in their own way. But for someone, changing your body is an opportunity for development, the joy of knowing, movement = life.

What's wrong with body positivity? This is when a "body-positive" person, by virtue of the propaganda of love for the natural, ridicules or condemns plastic surgery, facepalmite other people's experiments on appearance, and even more so considers the followers of fashion "dim-witted dummies." Read "if you do this, you do not accept yourself, but you have to accept the way you are"

What does body positivity really say? Repetition is the mother of learning - "my body is my business") Respect the right of everyone to be or not be fashionable, copy or create an individual image. Often experiment is part of knowing yourself, without which, as already mentioned, the adoption cannot take place.

6. "Imprint of life"

Our scars indicate that we are the lucky ones who had the strength to survive. Our stretch marks are a joy that we were finally able to defeat obesity. Our gray hair is a sign of our resilience to incredible trials, and our aging is pride in how much we already know, can and understand. Depression will be deflated if we remember that these and other "traces of life on the body" are an indicator of our strength. Even if now we do not quite understand how it is.

What's wrong with body positivity? This is the opinion that you need to accept only what cannot be changed. T. N. "selective body positive". Gray hair can be painted over, stretched skin can be removed, the scar removed with a laser, wrinkles can be smoothed out with Botox … Of course it is possible, but who needs it?

What does body positivity really say? Our transformations it is part of our experience and our personality … By denying transformation, we are denying some part of ourselves. However, the more painful the transformation, the more time it takes for us to accept it. Most of us, following the "my body is my business" formula, tend to touch up roots or mask scars. But this only confirms the rule, and gives the opportunity to choose.

7. Maternity

Here I want to say that those transformations that occur with the body of the "mother" are part of a long journey. Sometimes joyful, sometimes sad, but always personal. We cannot turn back from this path, and if our transformation has left a painful imprint, hating our body, we only hate ourselves more and more. It destroys. The way out is to burn off the loss and take the first (and then subsequent) step towards acquaintance with a new self. When you let a new body into your life, study it and make friends, you will be amazed at what a delightful, unique, charming woman mother is)

What's wrong with body positivity? Equating "body positive" with natural and natural, many believe that "… to give birth to children is the main purpose, to breastfeed only, wear in a sling, sleep together and not even think about work for the next few years …". If this is not the case, then you do not accept your femininity and are going against nature. + Of course, attempts to accept transformation through depreciation are incorrect (see point 2).

What does body positivity really say? Remember already? Yes, "my body is my business." Nobody except the woman herself knows when the time is, in what way and whether it makes sense. Each decision you make is yours alone, and such a decision is always correct and justified for that specific period of time. Perceiving your stretch marks and metamorphoses as a result of a miracle, participation in the magic of creating a new life, is as normal as it is to take care of your breasts, hips and personal time and space. As for transformations … If motherhood is a gift, can you see it in your new body? Study, learn, and learn to turn change to your advantage.

But back to where we started. As you probably already guessed, Bodypositive is not about "fat" for a long time. Body positive is:

- about accepting oneself through the body

- about support, boundaries and their respect

- about knowledge, research and experimentation

- about the possibility of choice and the right to be accepted in it

- about inner harmony and self-love

- about the transformation of fears, anxieties and depression (mental health in general)

- about treatment, care, care and gratitude for the opportunity to have, be able and be through the body

- about equality and about everyone: men and women, thin and plump, tall and short, sad and cheerful, conservative and knowledgeable, healthy and not so, etc.

- about hobbies, creativity, entertainment, professional growth, prosperity, love and friendship, i.e. everything that we remember when we stop fixating on our body and appearance.

And if so, then everything is in order with our Bodypositive;)