2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Dedicated to those who do not believe in love,
and even more, to those who believe in it, no matter what
When a partner leaves, many and or almost all think about what is wrong with them, that it is impossible to be in a relationship with them.
Various stories of past relationships are recalled and additional confirmation is found that "it is with me that something is wrong."
And even if you come across moments and facts that the other behaved somehow strangely, then quickly an excuse and explanation is found for this.
Analyzing the situation and admitting one's own mistakes and responsibility for one's behavior, of course, help to learn the experience, but self-flagellation does not lead to anything good. Only to further disappointment and despair.
Why am I so convinced of this?
At least because in a relationship, not one, but two people! And everyone contributes to the relationship, whatever it may be, and everyone has a responsibility for these relationships, no matter how much they want or want to take it upon themselves.
Therefore, if they left you, this does not mean that it is impossible to be with you.
Maybe the other one does not have enough internal resources to be in these relationships or in relationships in general. Don't blame yourself for everything, you did everything you could, but if the other is not ready, then there is no need to force him. And then you will have to push forward or drag with you all your life, instead of taking care of yourself and / or relationships, but equally environmentally friendly for yourself and your partner. Or face feelings of guilt and accusations that they once forced to do something that the other did not really want to do. You need it?!
Do not take on too much blame, responsibility, criticism. Even if you have already collected all this in a huge bag and are carrying this burden on you, stop and find the time and place to disassemble it. Lay out all its contents: you can mentally, you can write each one on a separate piece of paper, or lay out real things that characterize certain feelings, statements and events.
- Now decide what exactly has no relation to you, and place it in one place.
- Do the same with those things, objects that are directly related to you.
- I think there will be those situations and events that will cause difficulties in defining the relationship, give them a separate place for now, but try to keep them few.
Look at them carefully, at each separately, think, what or who makes you doubt the definition of the owner ?! It can take a long time, be honest with yourself, no one judges you. And no one has such a right! Do not think of yourself as the Lord God and do not give others so much power over yourself! Make the final choice and determine what is yours and what is not.
- Now take those items that have nothing to do with you, and destroy them in any available way, metaphorically or realistically (throw away, burn, tear).
- Take your items and save. Do not drag them along with you, but simply give them a special place in your home, memory and / or heart, with gratitude and acceptance, no matter what it was.
Praise yourself for this courage and relax
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