2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In the wake of one conversation..
When our loved one becomes seriously ill, it naturally shakes both himself and us. And what usually happens: our life ceases to belong to us. With all our thoughts, we are included in what is happening with a loved one and completely forget about our living space.
In fact, we begin to save a loved one - after all, his life at the moment is more important than ours.
And this is the whole problem.
Making a lot of efforts to help a loved one, we ourselves gradually become exhausted and, at some point, we fall exhausted.
Yes, it's scary when a loved one is seriously ill. And terrible for his life. And that's why I really want to give all of myself so that only our loved one can live..
But … from this he will not live better … And, although we understand this, we still put in a lot of efforts to save our loved one.
And then, when we have accumulated exhaustion, there is anger at a loved one. Angry for spending so much energy on him. For the fact that we have forgotten about our joys in life. For the fact that we need to sacrifice ourselves.
/ Anger is often repressed because (supposedly) we shouldn't feel it. But, in this case, with a feeling of anger, our psyche is trying to preserve its remaining resources and its safety /.
Therefore, despite the complexity of the situation, in order not to finally fall down and stop being useful to our loved one, it is necessary to create for ourselves that space where we will be able to exhale. This will take care of yourself, of your resource, which is necessary for yourself and for your loved one.
Of course, even having set aside time for yourself, it is not so easy to turn off your head - anxious thoughts consume a lot of energy. Fear for the life of a loved one is simply off scale. By doing a bunch of actions, we drive away our anxiety. But, as soon as there is a stop, disturbing thoughts rush in with renewed vigor.
And here it is important not to hide from disturbing thoughts, but, on the contrary, to hear their sound.
- I am afraid for your life
- I'm afraid not to cope
- I'm scared to lose you
- I'm scared to be left without you
- I feel the horror and hopelessness of what is happening
- I am powerless to change anything …
And let these thoughts pass through your body..
And let the feeling that came over you most of all pass through yourself. Give it a way out and you will feel better..
Perhaps anger will rise..
You need to let this anger pass through yourself, pronouncing everything that causes it. By bringing out what sits inside, you free yourself from the accumulated and reboot.
After such emotional work, the person usually feels exhausted. And it would be nice if you presented any image that feeds you (a river, a green meadow, a sea with swimming fish, a cathedral, dolphins, etc.) and nourished your inner resource. Immerse yourself in any healing image - your psyche knows which image you need right now.
And then you can lie down and sleep.
And it will restore your strength.
And another very important thing: no matter how much we love our loved ones, each of us has our own destiny and has our own strength to cope with it. And no matter how much we want to take on the burden of what is happening with a loved one, we cannot do it.
But we can do what we can do.
We can be close. We can help.
And if we take care of our resource, we will be able to better help our loved one.
Continued here:
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