Rapunzel. Complicated Story. Client Case Metaphor

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Case published with client permission.

A client, let's call her Emma, came to therapy with a request for separation - psychological separation from her mother. Girl 26, lives separately, married. Despite this, she is under the strict tutelage of her mother, and every visit to the parental (why) home will certainly end in squabbles - despite the fact that the relatives are intelligent, educated and seem to be very friendly.

In her story about herself, Emma notes the following facts of her story …

1. A girl and a mother are diametrically different in temperament, which constitutes their chronic, total conflict. The daughter is original, sublime, poetic. Mom is self-centered, pragmatic and edifying.

2. The girl's mother adheres to an authoritarian educational regime and is very, very strict. The daughter is prescribed literally everything: from choices to desires. It is impossible to "breathe" on your own!

3. During the period of passing the USE, the girl first began to noticeable problems with physical well-being (initially manifested in a strong decline in hemoglobin).

4. Emma is hospitalized, checked, and upon re-hospitalization, a rather serious diagnosis is made - ulcerative colitis. Let me explain …

Nonspecific ulcerative colitis- This is a diffuse ulcerative-inflammatory lesion of the mucous membrane of the large intestine, accompanied by the development of severe local and systemic complications. The clinical picture of the disease is characterized by cramping abdominal pain, diarrhea mixed with blood, intestinal bleeding, and extraintestinal manifestations. Treatment can be conservative (diet, physiotherapy, medication) and surgical (resection of the affected area of the colon).

5. A year later after the diagnosis, due to the progression of the clinical situation, Emma undergoes a difficult operation to remove the ileostomy.

Operation ileostomyconsists in excretionthe ileum (the end of the small intestine) to the anterior abdominal wall, and the formation of a temporary or permanent fistula for the outflow of feces.

6. While in the clinic, the girl decides to move away from her parents and immediately after being discharged she leaves for a separate home (which, nevertheless, is their common family property), thereby remaining in the zone of parental control.

7. At the same time, having separated from her mother at least a little, Emma finally realizes herself in the spheres of professional, creative and personal choice not by her mother’s order, but by the behest of her heart: she meets her beloved, gets married, gets a second degree and is realized in creativity. And these are her important personal achievements! True, torn out by "blood" - serious health problems …

8. Meetings with my mother (who earlier categorically did not encourage her daughter's self-expression, but now sabotages her separate, independent choice in one way or another) are still psychologically difficult.

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The first thing that comes to mind about the story voiced by the client: the psychosomatic context of clinical diagnosis is related with the psychological treatment of the girl - with incomplete separation from parents.

Let's consider the expert point of view of the diagnosis given to Emma from the position of the famous psychologist, author of books on self-development - Vladimir Zhikarentsev …

The causes of colitis

Overly demanding parents. Feelings of oppression and defeat. A huge need for love, affection. Lack of a sense of security. The personification of avoiding what is pressing.

Possible solution to promote healing

I love and approve of myself. I create my own joy. I choose to be the winner in my life.

My own point of view is consonant with the above opinion: the abdomen zone represents the life zone of every personand, if in this area are manifested serious, big problems, This about indigestion of imposed authoritarian programs … Thus, the human body (through illness) rebelles against the totalitarian parental regime.

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After listening to the girl's story and giving initial responses to the narrated story, I invited Emma to investigate her positional internal structure in line with the Author's strategy of reconciling the two principles - “inner parent” and “inner child”, in the process of which I reflected the emotional, inner child shown by Emma through a fabulous analogy with a famous character - Rapunzel.

/ About an additional, useful technique that reveals the inner child through a fairy-tale character, I inform the viewers in the video attached below. /

Showing association, I proceeded, among other things, from the client's recollections (expressed by her during the practice) about the period of preschool childhood, in which the girl was often locked at home all alone, and Emma, abandoned by her mother, spent time alone and anxious.

The girl was scared, but the domineering and strict mother told her to obey

I will cite an excerpt from a famous fairy tale, with which the metaphor I reflected is connected.

It seems to me that the analogy with the aforementioned character in the described case is obvious and expressive.

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Now let's remember what paths the fairy tale scenario of Rapunzel cut off from life offers? Break free from maternal captivity and go free, to a dream

According to the fabulous plot, it did not work out peacefully - the mother categorically does not let her go free! And Rapunzel uses a radical and only method - escape …

I will give a similar excerpt from a fairy tale (in order to immerse you in the plot).

The client's life surprisingly repeats the line of the fictional story: the girl is just as decisively separated from her parents, but through her illness - she could no longer live in the house after discharge (according to Emma).

And they seem to let her go, but not completely and not too much …

Let us recall the twists and turns of the fairytale plot … Rapunzel did not succeed in breaking out of her mother's oppression right away: the stepmother overtakes the unfortunate one and tricked her back home. And only after some time, separation from the mother, finally, salutary comes … At the cost of heavy losses … the heroine grows up internally.

The separation is gradually but consistently carried out in the life of the real Emma. But until now, every visit of a client to her mother's house ends with quarrels and tears. All the attempts of a matured, independent daughter to urge her parent to an equally respectful, adult dialogue fail: Emma's mother broadcasts that she does not intend to treat her daughter on equal terms - only from a position "above" … And she does not just say - she acts … And Emma again falls into the codependent triangle.

It seems that the resolution of this particular case (just like a fairy tale) requires drastic measures - psychological and territorial distance - with the maximum reduction of the painful, destructive influence …

Emma and her husband are going abroad, my clinic does not see other opportunities to escape from the tenacious influence of her mother …

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Let's go back to the end of the fairy tale story of Rapunzel: in the plot presented to us, the separation took place symbolically. This separation releases the heroine into a new, free life - an adult, happy relationship. And this is the logic of healthy and natural evolution! It is good when parents realize this truth without irreparable losses! Finish posting with an inspirational cartoon excerpt! Best wishes to the client!

Only now I see the light

The dome of the sky is blue.

He will tell me the answer

An arrow suddenly pierced my heart.

Everything around instantly changed, I'm with you now.