2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
"We are what we do all the time. Perfection, therefore, is not an act, but a habit."
Aristotle
"Sow an act - reap a habit, sow a habit - reap character, sow character - reap destiny."
Confucius
Why am I skeptical about the promises of various figures to solve a person's problem in several meetings, or even at once, and see this as nothing more than a marketing ploy?
Conduct a simple experiment: start every day without skipping, drinking a glass of water before lunch, making this action the norm, or doing exercises in the morning. Or try learning to drive in 3 days. And what are the promises to start life from Monday with a clean slate?
The same thing happens when, for example, a spouse comes to a psychologist for a consultation with the expectation of solving problems in their communication in a couple of meetings. Yes, from the first meeting they can leave on the rise, but after some time they will most likely return to the previous scheme.
For the changes to be sustainable, it is necessary to form a new habit, a conditioned reflex, and, consequently, a new neural network.
A stable pattern of behavior cannot be formed in a few days.
According to various sources, the formation of a stable reflex takes from a month to six months, and in some situations even more.
The speed of reflex formation depends on the complexity of the problem, emotional mood and neuroplasticity.
The more a person is motivated to solve a problem, the faster a new reflex will form.
In people with severe mental rigidity, restructuring occurs more slowly. For example, in children, the psyche is more plastic. They learn something new faster and easier than an adult with deep-rooted maladaptive attitudes, from which he is in no hurry to give up.
At the same time, I do not call to go to a psychologist for several years in a row. Based on my personal experience, if you focus on solving a specific problem, 10-20 sessions are enough. During this period of time, you can learn to identify non-adaptive patterns of your behavior, irrational thoughts, master the techniques of self-regulation and techniques for developing new models of perception and response.
The psychologist provides support, diagnoses, and gives the necessary tools for change. The changes are made by the person himself.
If you are hoping for a magic pill, then ask a shaman, magical thinking for help (just kidding). The essence of cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy is to form new reflexes in a person through systematic training.
In my practice, the client goes through 10-20 sessions, during this period, and then he independently tries to apply the acquired knowledge and skills in his daily life.
If he needs support to consolidate the result, he can come again after a while.
There are a number of problems that I do not undertake to solve. it requires the competence of a doctor (a problem of an organic nature, and not a psychogenic one, when a person has no criticism of his behavior and there is persistent resistance to therapy).
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