Why Isn't The Beast Disenchanted? (Part 4: The Internal Predator)

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

So, in the previous articles we talked about toxic relationships, how they manifest externally. But, the fact is that with a long stay in this kind of relationship, your "inner character", "introject" is formed in your soul, which makes you again and again remain in the role that was imposed by the toxic partner. So it appears in your soul The "Internal Predator" is a very dangerous subpersonality, the purpose of which is only in one thing: to suppress, humiliate, devalue you, destroy all the best that is in you from within.

Our subpersonalities - the Inner Child, the Wise Elder, the Hero and many others - are present in our soul from the very birth. They are part of a common culture, coming into our personal experience from the depths of the collective unconscious. But thanks to our environment, the experience of communication, some of these subpersonalities are strengthened, activated, manifest themselves more and more brightly, while others, on the contrary, remain in a dormant state, have a very weak effect on our life. Thus, the experience of toxic relationships activates the Inner Predator. Clarissa Pinkola Estess calls him "Natural Soul Predator".

Our subpersonalities, living in the collective unconscious, are clearly manifested in folk tales. It is not for nothing that fairy tales are called "collective dreams". In fairy tales, this Natural Soul Predator is portrayed as Monsters who enslave, humiliate and kill naive girls. Some of you may have been in toxic relationships since childhood. For example, you might have "toxic parents" or grandparents with whom you spent a lot of time. In this case, you are especially likely to attract such men into your life - with the same type of relationship. Accordingly, if you are a man, then you will attract this kind of women, corresponding to the image of the Inner Predator.

How does the Internal Predator manifest itself? How do you recognize him? You will now see similarities to the list of signs of toxic relationships that we covered in previous articles. And, interestingly, I made this list even before I began to be interested in the topic of toxic relationships and study this issue. I wrote about the Inner Predator based on my own observations in working with clients, studying the work of Clarissa Pinkola Estess. So, there really is a relationship here, you will see how these topics overlap with each other.

When you read about the manifestations of the Inner Predator, note for yourself which of them are familiar to you, what you have come across in your life

First sign. It seems to you that you are a complete insignificance and are not capable of anything. The Inner Predator does just that: that you have very low self-esteem, that you are completely and completely dependent on him and that you continue to remain in this toxic relationship, even if you are already completely exhausted and literally on the last gasp continue to follow his orders.

Second sign. You cannot provide adequate resistance to those who attack you - physically, verbally, or otherwise. It can be a direct violation of your boundaries, physical or psychological, an invasion of your space. For example, when someone asks you tactless questions about things that don't concern them at all. For example, sometimes this is the behavior of relatives, or your colleagues at work. In other cases, these statements may be veiled, dressed in a polite form, but you still feel that your boundaries are being violated. At the same time, you are either afraid to fight back, or something else stops you. Then you can come up with what you could say to this person, how to answer him, how to behave. But in this very situation you find yourself as if paralyzed, you stand and silently listen to his insults.

Third sign. When someone devalues your achievements, laughs at you, and you agree with him and believe in it. For example, if someone at work constantly criticizes you, claims that you make mistakes all the time, everything that you do is complete nonsense, there is nothing difficult, everyone can cope, and even better than you, but what does someone else - it's very "cool" and worthy of appreciation. On the one hand, you, of course, can not enter into open conflict with your abuser and even not object to him, but simply behave in such a way that he himself will get into an awkward situation because of his behavior. You can show by your behavior, by your actions that in reality it is not so. And here a lot depends on your self-esteem. If you are confident in yourself, in the value of your knowledge and skills - whoever tells you that all this is nonsense and that you are not good for anything - it’s like "water off a duck's back" from you. In this case, you act according to the principle "the dog barks, but the caravan moves on." You do not agree with this criticism, ridicule, you maintain faith in yourself and an adequate perception of the situation. If this does not happen and you internally agree with these insults and devaluation, then you are at the mercy of the Inner Predator.

The fourth sign. When you hook up with bad guys and then genuinely wonder why you are being treated so badly. One of the properties of the Inner Predator is that it blocks your connection with intuition, with natural flair. If everything is in order with your intuition, you will simply feel that you do not need to communicate with this person, but you should not be frank with this person, it is better to maintain a purely business relationship. Or, let's say you are looking for a job, you came for an interview and it seems that outwardly there are good conditions and everything suits you, but you feel that you do not need to get a job here, that "something is wrong" here - this is the voice of intuition. If your connection with intuition is blocked, you react to external signs that are "on the surface". For example, you meet a man who says to you: “I want to take care of you, I suggest you live together (or cooperate), you will benefit from this” - but there is clearly a hidden background behind this that you do not notice. In this case, you agree to his proposal, sincerely believing that everything will be great with you. And over and over again you find yourself in a situation where you are deceived, you are used, you are badly treated. This suggests that the Inner Predator is guiding your behavior.

Fifth sign. For many years you endure a tyrant boss or a sadistic husband, fearing that otherwise you will not be needed at all. This is how the fear of loneliness manifests itself. When your self-esteem is lowered "below the plinth" and you endure any ridicule, any bullying, just to be useful to at least someone. Most importantly, it means that you are not needed by yourself, that you are not interesting to yourself. This is the worst thing in this situation. The Inner Predator has taken full control of you. I spoke about this in detail, so I will not dwell here in detail.

Sixth sign. You are afraid to ask for help, believing that you are not worthy of it, or - being sure that no one will help you anyway. It so happens that you constantly turn to the wrong people who can really help. I have situations when a person makes such a request that I do not work with. I explain this, sometimes I recommend a specialist who can help. But in response I hear: no, I have already turned to many people, but no one can help me! A situation from a series that a person has a stomach ache, and he turns to an ophthalmologist and is offended that he cannot help him. This can be the case with any problem that a person faces: he persistently turns for help to the wrong people who can really help, and then concludes: "No one will help me!" Behind this may be the belief that you are not worthy of help. And this is one of the manifestations of the Inner Predator: it does not allow you to seek help from those who will really help.

Seventh sign. You do not know how to accept gifts and compliments, you do not use the chances to improve your life for fear of a catch. You become very suspicious, do not trust anyone, you perceive any gift or kind attitude towards yourself as manipulation, a desire to take advantage of you, to lure you into a trap, or that they laugh at you, want to do another dirty trick. All this isolates you from the world, from other people, and further binds you to the Inner Predator. One of the main manipulations of the Beast: "I somehow tolerate you, and without me nobody needs you at all."

Have you been able to detect signs of the Inner Predator in yourself? If so, this is already an important step forward. This means that you managed to break free from the captivity of illusions and begin to see reality.

In the next article we will look at two different scenarios for the development of the relationship between a young girl and the Beast, using the example of two fairy tales. Which of these scenarios is yours?

To be continued…