Disappointment. Why Isn't This A True Feeling

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Imagine that you are building a castle. Pretend, from something light and beautiful. From fantasies, dreams filled with the most beautiful, most perfect ideas. Endured and endured, beautiful in their brightness, justice, ability to improve their life and the world in general. The beauty and perfection of the "material" is directly proportional to what was around you. If, for example, you lived in a cold and harsh environment, then your castle was in warm surroundings with a large fireplace and sofas for guests. Etc…

Gradually, the construction took over you. Plunging into it, you got a breath of fresh air. The more unbearable the situation around you was, the more hope you put into this construction. And the laws of magic worked. If you invest so much in something, then it starts to look like the real thing. Like the made-up friends of autistic children. You begin to believe in the reality of your illusions and strive for them. You can infect others with your ideas and they will become your companions. You can devote all your strength to this. After all, now it remains to find in real life what you designed so precisely (yes! Designed a layout, not really built) inside. You render your layout and apply it to those that fit.

For example, your illusion about a harmonious relationship, in which the other person will definitely understand and love you, if you treat him the same way. This other begins to try to approach the imposed illusion, he also likes it. But it doesn't fit. A real person cannot meet the requirements of illusions, remember, they are perfect? And this other, chosen by you, may simply disappear, grieving about his imperfection, or he may be very angry with you. He also wants to be accepted as he is. You are shocked! You didn't want something special, just a harmonious relationship! And this is the moment of disillusionment. You are experiencing the only feeling that is always the result of this - DISAPPOINTMENT … Well feeling and feeling. But no. This is one of the most painful feelings known to man. And that's why, this is the most interesting. Disappointment - the result of the collapse of illusions. And the very project is collapsing, which, thanks to the magic of filling it with real power of feelings and thoughts, has become difficult. The house of cards turned into concrete. And this concrete falls on your head, causing not at all illusory pain. Here's a mechanism …

Did you expect the team to appreciate your ability to work and appreciate you? But it turned out that you prevent others from being justifiably messy, and against your background, they risk being fired.

You expected to be so romantically caring for you Man will be a good husband? No comments…

You thought that this sweetheart young woman with the appearance of an angel can not change? Also without comment …

Are you hoping that psychology will protect you from mistakes in choosing people or blows of fate?

Did you think that if you turned to a well-known specialist, then he would not make a mistake? What about the fact that he is not a god? He was tired, or was he proud, or in the morning he quarreled with his wife (traffic cop, neighbor). He had no right?

Have you hoped that your unshakable faith in God would deflect the shell from your home? Maybe you just do not really understand what his plan is about?

Did you expect that if you have devoted your whole life to children, they will follow the path that you like? Maybe you didn't take into account that you are separate people?

Are you amazed that your therapist is not ready to love you like a mother? More precisely, better than your own mother, otherwise you would not have turned to him. Maybe you confused psychotherapy with parenting and did not take into account that you are not an infant either?

you are very disappointed, what state defaulting on pension obligations? You, apparently, decided that the state is not a structure controlled by people (not always the best, by the way)?

Are you angry with your favorite singer, whose songs were for you a symbol of freedom in your youth, that he suddenly "switched over" and you ideologically did not coincide? Perhaps you did not consider that creativity and personality are two separate structures?

You regularly played sports, ate low-fat food, did not drink alcohol or smoke, and died at 56 from a heart attack? Nobody told you that science is not omnipotent?

And so on to infinity …

Now I will briefly fall into grandeur, that I know exactly what I am talking about and I will write the following:

Illusions were needed. They helped us survive and not die of grief that the world is like that. We needed time to grow, get stronger and learn to cope with it. If perfection was demanded of us, then we continue to do this with ourselves and with the world. We live in a childish, magical way of thinking, in which an adult uncle believes in Santa Claus, and an adult aunt believes in a financial pyramid. The essence is the same.

Reality can be ugly. It can be terrible, disgusting, unbearable. But this is only part of it. There is another one. Wonderful, beautiful, inspiring. It is not immediately visible. First a minus, then a plus. Why? Because first you have to check the safety and then enjoy. This is logic.

It's hard to accept. It seems impossible. The pain can be unbearable. We need someone close at this moment who will support. Who can say that yes, there is death. There is grief, misfortune, evil, injustice. It does not always depend on us. Sometimes we are powerless.

We will have to fall from the sky of illusion into this reality. Better to do it yourself, in a controlled fall. Then you can keep the bones intact, get off with bruises.

If life will do it, and it will, do not even hesitate, then you can break the back.

It's all. See you in reality.