Pride As A Stop In Development

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In the arsenal of each person there are many amazing ways to protect themselves from life, one of which is pride (which most often manifests itself as a feeling of inner superiority over others or belittling oneself). It develops thanks to the attitudes of the family and society and serves as a reliable protection that allows the individual to preserve himself and his ideas about the world, no matter how outdated they may be. After all, changing yourself is uncomfortable and scary, much more familiar to such a familiar and familiar swamp. Even with muddy water, but safe.

Pride is insidious. She often disguises herself under the guise of love and care ("you are the loveliest in the world, all blush and whiter") and draws premature conclusions, trying to protect a person from pain and unnecessary worries. She whispers “he is not worthy of the little finger on your hand!”, Devalues feelings and makes you leave the relationship with your head held high. Then to step on the same rake in a new relationship. She labels, gives advice and condemns, because she knows how to live better and more correctly. Instead of finding something to learn from other people. She takes responsibility for everything and for everyone (or, on the contrary, always blames the environment) instead of taking her own share of responsibility and drawing conclusions for the future.

The feelings and desires of other people are not important to pride, but they should earn polite treatment and respect by their exemplary behavior. It can manifest itself in constant conversations about yourself, your soul mate, your children, your company, etc. with the message: "Look at me - I'm better than you!" or "I am the most unfortunate person on this planet." It requires that people and the world unquestioningly meet the expectations of a person and fulfill his requests and demands, otherwise they will have to face the destructive force of aggression, condemnation, insults, resentment, claims, envy, jealousy and revenge. She does not admit she was wrong and does not apologize. She provides help "from above", emphasizing her superiority, expecting stormy gratitude and recognition, but she herself may remain ungrateful. She manifests itself in dissatisfaction with her life ("the world is so unfair to me") and drives a person into a state of victim. She often prohibits accepting gifts and talking about her desires (“I can afford it myself”), disguising herself as modesty and self-sufficiency and does not allow starting work without the confidence that it will be done perfectly.

Pride can continue to grow thanks to achievements in various spheres of life, which favorably distinguish the talented sun from the gray mass; or by reading many books (attending various trainings, courses, etc.) and accumulating many diplomas, which you can always boast of on occasion. Often, pride persecutes people in helping professions (teachers, doctors, psychologists), because they often get a chance to feel their omnipotence.

Not infrequently, pride begins to poison a person's social life, just as a cancer cell poisons the body, refusing to live according to its laws. After all, she in every possible way supports the ideas of the world formed by a person, refusing to accept that the world is fairer than it seems at first glance. That in him all people are equal and unique in their own way, there are no bad or good, and in each person both the light and the dark side are combined. And that no one has the right to condemn another and rise above him, ascribing to himself the role of God.

Pride can lead to the loss of family, friends, and complete loneliness. It does not allow throwing off the obsolete shackles imposed by the way of life, the stereotypes and morality of society that have developed over the years; prevents you from realizing and admitting that you really do not want to admit and understand your true desires. Considering that a person is already somehow adapted to this world (albeit crookedly), pride stops his development and can lead to degradation.

What to do with pride if it already interferes with living and developing?

- First of all, recognize its existence in any of its manifestations;

- Accept that she is on guard for the stereotypes imposed by the family and society and revise them (which are suitable, and which have long been hopelessly outdated), replacing everything “must” and “must” with “I want” and “it would be nice”; looking for thoughts that make you feel hurt or irritated;

- Take responsibility for your life on yourself (become the author of your life);

- Learn to accept people as they are, reminding ourselves that we notice in others only what is already in ourselves; learn to admire their positive qualities and give compliments;

- Whenever you want to condemn someone, remind yourself that each person is fighting a battle that we know nothing about (or, as Lao Ji said, “Never condemn a person until you have come a long way in his boots );

- Try to do charity work and do good anonymously - so that no one knows about it;

- Keep a diary of gratitude to the World and look for an excuse to sincerely thank the surrounding space for any words and actions (for example, a man for missing in the elevator, a capricious child for a lesson in patience, etc.);

- Practice attentive listening without trying to lecture, give advice, or insert particularly apt remarks;

- Mentally take off the crown, turning into such an ordinary and earthly person;

- To carry out "dirty" work, which is below our dignity (washing dishes, digging beds, washing floors in the stairwell with hands, etc.).

And sooner or later the moment will come when a person will no longer need the protection of pride and will begin to choose how and what to think about and what emotions to experience in a given situation. He will be open to other people, his desires and the World, and the World will reciprocate him.