2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recently, in one of the sandboxes, a boy of about 8 years old began to take away a toy from Maxim. He already expected that in response to him, as usual, they would yell 😤, but in the process he would take the toy anyway and run away 💪.
But something went wrong … 😂 He was extremely surprised at the way in which the boundaries were marked for him. And, which seems quite unusual, the rest of the walk did not leave Maxim and me 😂
And you yourself have probably noticed that when you are confident and clearly define the rules, children do not throw tantrums and even follow them with pleasure. After all, in fact, children really need and are very important restrictions. When there are clearly defined boundaries, children feel calm and confident in an adult who "plays" by these rules.
And setting the rules is actually not difficult at all. It is enough to follow 4 simple steps:
1. Recognize and accept the child's feelings and desires: for this you need to voice to the child what is happening to him. For example:
Do you feel like playing with clay
2. Tell the child the rule that you want to establish and explain to the child why this rule must be followed. For example:
But clay is not played on the carpet, because it will get dirty
3. Give the child an alternative to action. For example:
But you can play with clay at the table or play on the carpet with something else.
This is usually enough. Especially if the child is used to the fact that mom's / dad's word is not an empty shake of air.
4. If the rule is still violated, the child must be given the final choice. For example:
If you play on the carpet, you are not playing with clay.
Thus, you get the following text: You want to play with clay. But clay is not played on the carpet, because it will get dirty. But you can play with clay at the table or play on the carpet with something else. If you play on the carpet, you are not playing with clay.
And it's equally important to follow through with the constraints. If the child ignored your words, you are doing what you said. In our case, you take the clay from the child.
And there is no need to shout, go into hysterics. Everything should be absolutely calm and peaceful. With kindness and love. Restrictions are not evil. This is the road on which the child walks, skirting ravines and dark forests.
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