2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
How not easy to say to a person - "It is difficult for me to be with you", as if I would say and cause him irreparable harm, because "it is necessary somehow differently." Question - How do you have to be around "differently" if it's difficult?
Well, apparently - to deceive, dissemble, make a "good face", try to please even stronger, endure, suffer in the end - in the end, do whatever you want, just not to say "it's hard for me to be with you." So much violence for the sake of "everything is good."
"What well?" is also a big question, because "as it is" is very difficult and impossible to detect your tiredness, irritation and disgust. True, if you continue to reject and devalue your own…. relevant, you risk only one thing - to be rejected (oh) and depreciated (oh) in response.
It's good if someone from a couple (he - she, parent - child, girlfriend - friend) or in a group takes risks and says "it's hard for me to be with you."
It is good if there is a resource to stay in this place and consider this "difficult". Then at least you can clarify, understand and not live anymore, supporting your fantasies about "how it should be", not spend so much energy on it, so much effort.
This can be the beginning of intimacy and finding a connection, that connection (the very "good") for which we all miss so much and without which we feel lonely and rejected. You can begin to find another person and yourself next to another, and this is scary - exciting, joyful and interesting.
And it may be that there is a place for intimacy and trust. There will be a place for tenderness and trepidation, for freedom and, of course, for love. It is interesting how the simple phrase "it is difficult for me to be with you" can be the beginning of contact with someone with whom you have been near for some time and it is quite possible that you have been living for many years.
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