Childhood Traumas - To Fight Or Learn To Live With Them?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Childhood traumas - to fight or learn to live with them?

The fact that all our traumas from childhood have been said for so long that they do not even argue with this fact. Many studies have proven this to be true. Two weeks ago I hosted a webinar on this topic. In this article, I have collected the most common injuries in humans. In addition to describing them, I talked about the consequences, as well as options for solving these problems.

Powerful parents

Trauma - Your parents have been in control of your entire life. From when to go to bed, to the people you should be friends with. They shouted at you, they could hit you, motivating it by the fact that they know better what you need and in general, all this is done for your benefit.

Consequences - Now you cannot live without parental approval. You discuss all your decisions with them, and even if you think they are wrong, you still do at their direction. Such people are most often very unhappy, do not have the job they dreamed of, live without a family and children.

Why did we give birth to you

Trauma - You have been constantly told about how their life has changed with your arrival. How many problems and difficulties appeared, how their lives collapsed, their plans did not come true. And if my mother still describes in paints what a difficult birth was, then this leaves a scar for life.

Consequences - Constant guilt. For life. You will put all your energy into repaying the debt to your parents. And you will forgive your mother everything and fulfill any of her whims for her sacrifice.

Unjustified expectations

Trauma - Mom dreamed of becoming an artist. For some reason, it didn't work out for her. Therefore, at your birth, she decided that you would make her dream come true. Or your parents really put a lot of energy into you, took you to circles, bought a piano, dancing, singing. And they expected that after the dividends will go. You will become a famous singer, musician, choreographer.

Consequences - Feeling like you didn't live up to expectations. The constant state that you are defective and stupid. After all, so much has been invested in you, but there is no exhaust.

Excessive custody

Trauma - Since childhood, your parents have removed you at the slightest difficulty. Heat the soup? Get burned! Cycling? Will fall! Embroidery? Prick your finger! Everything that you tried to start was taken away from you and you did it yourself, motivating that they will do everything faster and better.

Consequences - It's a problem for you to start something. From cooking to getting to know the object of sympathy. You are afraid to take the first step, you are terrified of it.

Act like an adult

Trauma - The phrase “don't act like a child” is one of the most traumatic. If you ran in childhood, laughed loudly, played noisily - many parents said it. But it’s okay to behave that way! But because of the constant withdrawal, you have developed a reflex that being a child is bad. But in adulthood, there are many delights.

Consequences - Growing up such people absolutely do not know how to relax. For them, the problem is to shout at cool rides, dance in a disco. And if suddenly at some point he breaks down and does something in the style of a child, then later he will punish himself for this manifestation for a long time.

Deserve love

Trauma - The phrase “you don't deserve it” is often heard as a child. Usually it is used for some financial cost. Skates, doll, ball - you don't deserve it. But if you can somehow come to terms with this and explain to yourself this lack of money in the family, then what to do with emotions? You received an undeserved deuce. Go to your parents to receive their love and forgiveness. But they don't understand the situation and push you away, saying that you don't deserve it.

Consequences - In adulthood, these people will work hard to earn love. A colleague does not communicate with you, you need to make him tea, take the children to the rink, help with the move. This is how you try to earn friendship. The wife does not sleep with you, saying that you are a bad spouse. We buy her a dress, diamonds, a ticket - we deserve her love.

These are one of the many childhood traumas that poison our lives. There are three options for the development of events. The first is to leave everything as it is. Second, we recycle them and try to make them work for you. The third - we try to eliminate it forever.

Which one to choose is up to you.