2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When I talk about psychotherapy, I mean a long, sometimes long-term contract with a psychotherapist, consisting of regular, specially organized meetings, at which almost all aspects of the life of a person who has become a client are affected.
This form of work is most interesting to me as a therapist. I like to work long and slow. Consider the client's life, slowly get acquainted with the device of this particular person, live with him the moments of his life. To see how over time something changes inside him - the places of breaks grow together, the edges of the wounds are tightened, the emptiness is filled with something important. Watch how time, tears and warmth smooth out the sharp places of internal fractures, as if the sea grinds thorny shards of glass.
My trust and love for psychotherapy is also due to the fact that I myself have been a client for more than eight years - and I see the huge changes that this work has brought to my life.
I will try to tell you about the benefits of working as a client - and this is work, and at times it is extremely difficult. The points are arranged roughly in the order in which I think they arise in the process of psychotherapy - taking into account the natural rollbacks and leaps forward.
So.
1. Relief
They go to a psychologist, to a stranger for a lot of money when it is already unbearable. And almost always, the intolerance decreases with the first meetings - simply because there is an opportunity to talk, just to take outside that no longer fit inside, to share pain and despair with another person. And the relief from the emerging hope for change is also an important factor.
2. Useful knowledge
Psychologists have a huge amount of professional information that is extremely useful to almost any person. By God, I myself am sometimes surprised by this. I am surprised and indignant why we are not told in schools that people have boundaries and that they are worthy of respect, that we ourselves are responsible for our life and pleasures in it; about how to experience grief and crises, how psychological defense mechanisms are arranged, what healthy relationships are based on, and a huge number of things that can radically change the view of the world if you know about the very fact of their existence.
3. Getting to know yourself
Many people seem to be completely unaware of what they are. By themselves, with desires and states, outside the "correct" patterns of behavior and habitual life programs. Often, a person who turns to a psychologist for help may feel only a very high degree of discomfort, not even really understanding what exactly the discomfort is associated with.
A wide range of experiences and aspirations is outside of consciousness. A person actually does not know what state he is in, or what he wants from his life. Imagine a traveler who does not have a map of his own journey and ways to find his true location - not the most pleasant state, right?
4. And familiarity with their own ways to live
For clients, this most often sounds like a question “What am I doing wrong?”. In psychotherapy, the question is posed differently: "How exactly do I do this?" How a person brings himself to exhaustion, what he does to destroy the relationship, what prevents him from achieving what he wants - there are already a lot of answers to these questions.
It is possible to sensibly change anything, only by understanding how this "something" is arranged. Often, it is generally enough to face your own ways of living, to begin to notice them, so that changes begin to take place on their own.
5. Facing restrictions
And why are the restrictions, you ask? And so it is clear, since a person ended up in a psychologist's office, it means that he was faced with an unbearable amount of these very restrictions. However, to collide does not mean to live. You can endlessly break into a closed door, spend time and energy on it - and not notice that there is no door at all in this place.
Most of the problems people have is due to the fact that they just ignore the restrictions. And sometimes it is useful to find out that yes - it will never be the way you want. Get upset, reconcile and go looking - as differently as possible.
At times, it's a good idea to notice, for example, that we are mortal. They are truly mortal. To penetrate and be frightened that you may not be in time, not done, not say.
To recognize the impossibility means to outline the circle of the real possible, and to direct efforts to obtain it.
6. Trust in the world and your own creativity
Creativity here means everything that we do in a natural, non-violent way. What happens in life seems to be "by itself", but in fact is a deep manifestation of selfhood.
Trusting yourself and your desires, your ways of resting, loving, working or raising children, your need to stop or slow down is very difficult for many people. Rarely is it possible to put aside the knowledge "how it should" and live the way one lives from the inside. But this particular way of life can bring harmony and significantly reduce tension.
7. Ability to build relationships with the Other
In fact, being in a relationship with another person is not that easy. To truly be - sincere and natural, experiencing the whole diverse range of emotions that arise when people are together.
Learning to create and maintain relationships, approach and move away, preserve oneself and respect the other, stay in a difficult or end togetherness if there is no need for it is one of the most important and difficult acquisitions in psychotherapy, in my opinion.
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