2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If you want to avoid criticism, don't do anything, don't say anything and be nothing.
Being uncomfortable is very uncomfortable.
You rub this way out of anxiety, despair and powerlessness. Not for the faint of heart.
Especially not for the faint of heart, because being uncomfortable is deliberately subscribing to rejection, envy and ridicule from the outside world.
I often hear positive slogans like “just be yourself”, “do what you like”, “love yourself”. Sounds tempting, delicious. Served in a beautiful wrapper, which is difficult to pass by. Instructions for use are attached to this present: use with a sweet sauce of affirmations and visualizations.
Just take it and use it.
Only "manufacturers" of beautiful wrappers do not write in the instructions about the side effects of the use of delicacies called "just be yourself."
As soon as you try to open the bright, rustling wrapper, there will be a hiss from all sides: “Don't change !!! Do not act out !!! Be nobody !!!.
Not everyone is ready for this.
I remember how it was with me.
- We will have another child !!!!!
- Congratulations! Is one not enough for you?
- I decided to study for additional specialization !!!
- Why do you want this?!
- I can't meet with you today, I have evening consultations. - - - What, you cut money? Well done!
Only the eye cuts a double message: verbally, a person broadcasts one thing, like he is happy with your successes, and facial expressions, gestures, intonation broadcast the opposite message - not a fig is not happy to me.
And what is there to be happy about?
In such cases, your mere presence makes the interlocutor face unpleasant thoughts about himself.
When it becomes difficult to withstand it, sarcasm, irony and appeal to the opinion of the majority are used. And in order to finally "crush" the upstart, to return from heaven to earth, heavy artillery is used - manipulations on feelings of guilt, shame and fear.
Don't change!
Don't lean out!
Be mediocre and don't make people around you angry.
I'm serious.
Because in this way, you help them look brighter and more successful.
And I don't care how you feel about yourself. The main thing is that everyone is comfortable.
As a reward for your convenience, you will be gifted with sincere pity, perhaps love. It is easier to love and pity the holy fools, but for the courage to be happy and successful - they beat you in the face. It is easier to help a “poor relative” than to rejoice in his successes.
Because of this, many people have fears of happiness, naturalness, and their desires.
These fears can be diagnosed by the following phrases.
I am afraid to share my successes because others will turn their backs on me.
I cannot be happy when my relatives are unhappy.
I'm afraid of envy.
I'm afraid of conflicts, because then everyone will feel bad because of me.
And what then, forever stuck in the "musty swamp" and not stick out?
You decide. I just showed the other side of the coin called success. At the very moment when you decide to change your life for the better, to get out of a negative scenario in a relationship, you will definitely be shown your badness, depravity and selfishness. This is why most of your attempts to “just be yourself” and “do what you want to do” have failed. And even the affirmations with visualizations did not help.
What to do?
You need to be ready for this. Do not indulge yourself with the illusion that others will open their arms and, slapping on the shoulder, say: "I always believed in you, my friend." This can also be, but rather as an exception, and not as a rule.
Forewarned is forearmed.
Go to an exotic country - do not experiment in eating unfamiliar dishes or problems with indigestion are guaranteed to you. But even if you are afraid of stomach problems, you will not starve the entire trip, right? I think it is better to enjoy your vacation and be prepared for the fact that a share of discomfort will be its integral companion.
So is your willingness to follow your goals and be true to yourself.
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