2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Many do not hesitate to live as their parents said: “do not protrude, shut up, it would be better not to open your mouth, be like everyone else,” make decisions, make choices based on parental approval, their advice and the picture of the world, which sometimes run counter to modern challenges. Be obedient, comfortable, perfect and right for mom or dad; to subjugate their desires and break their inner world, is ashamed of himself and live in constant guilt that he did not please again. There is nothing wrong with that. These states are called fusion and emotional codependency. A huge number of people live in them. And being with everyone and being like everyone else is much calmer than becoming yourself. The fear of being different, the fear of embarking on one's own path, is irresistible for many. And there is nothing wrong with that either.
So it's not time yet.
The time of growing up and personal growth does not happen in every destiny. Growing up requires strength, courage and courage. Because growing up, a difficult life crisis. A person is left alone with his path and with himself. There is no more mother who will cover or hide, laugh or devalue. Will show love or hurt. That is, what will stop you, and you will again choose the comfort zone - to swim in "mother's love" or to suffer and drown in claims.
Growing up is to betray parental "rules of life", their picture of the world, their beliefs. It's like betraying mom or dad herself, and you know everything about their fate, about the unfulfilled and not happened. You cannot leave them alone with all this. After all, you do not believe that your parents are already adults and that she herself is able to cope with everything.
But for those who cling to the "parental world" it is unbearable to know that parents are able to endure everything. And even their growing up. And even their separation. Because parents have their own rules and their own picture of the world. They have what you do not have.
And while you are in merging with your parents, your life will pass you by, your interests will be neglected, because you are the first one who devalues them and pushes them into a far corner.
As long as you are afraid to say no, your life will pass you by and you will be manipulated. And if you look back, you will see that the parents had their own choices and decisions, and you did not.
Choosing yourself, your interests, your life and rules is to go a new and unknown path. It can be scary and painful. But after all, when you were born, you passed this path of separation from your mother. To do something important and valuable for yourself, you already have such an experience, the first step to growing up has been passed, you can stop at it. And you can go further - to your tasks, your interests and to your life.
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