Self-affirmation Of Men In Sex

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The problem of male self-affirmation in sexual life is one of the most pressing in psychological science. Many articles and works are based on the well-known idea that male sexual adventures are a manifestation of the biological characteristics of a man.

And only a small group of psychologists speaks about the manifestation of a not quite healthy and mature personality here and even its tendency to deviation.

Considering this issue in practice, we draw attention to the fact that men with severe sexual addiction, accompanied by a frequent change of sexual partners, do not end up with a psychologist because of this.

In my practice, this behavior was found in the framework of appeals about suicidal thoughts, lingering neurosis, deep pessimism.

Hypersexuality as a person's predisposition to active sexual life in this context acquires a stable model of behavior between men and women.

Situations with the consent of my interlocutors are considered below. Names and ages have been changed.

Ivan, 32 years old. I contacted about relations with my family. But very soon the man's mental wounds were revealed.

"I understand that sex is like a drug for me. But I can’t help it. If I try to abstain for a week, then the next I have a break …"

In this case, the problem stems from a deep lack of implementation. "I wanted to practice dancing, my father was very oppressive, cruel. He beat me mercilessly. And my mother gave choreography at the age of 7-8. And while she was alive, she helped me. At the age of 12, I was left without my mother. Dad categorically forbade dancing. that I will grow up homosexual … ".

The need for a constant change of sexual partners in this case is rather an act of aggression towards the father accumulated over many years, as a desire to prove to him what was so painfully perceived by the boy during his father's prohibitions, which to this day for Ivan remain a difficult, barely solvable problem.

In addition, the frequent change of partners can be viewed as an unconscious search for a woman-mother, the need for protection just like that.

Arthur, 35 years old. Divorced. His parents married him at the age of 23 to a girl whom I had not even seen.

It is still customary for our wife to be a virgin until the wedding night. Until I was 23, my father kept me tight-lipped. I was a virgin myself. Nevertheless, the first two years seemed quite pleasant. The girl turned out to be sweet and cheerful. that there were no children. In the third year we began to be examined. I was found to be infertile. Both were grieving.

I almost started drinking. Saved by work. I got a job on watch. Suddenly, after arriving, it turns out that the wife is pregnant. I realized that it was not mine. I packed my things and left..

The betrayal was a very big shock."

After the divorce, Arthur sees sex and the frequent change of partners not romance.

"All the romance remained there, in the marriage. I like to say that I did not count the women that I had …".

Indeed, attention is drawn to the fact that Arthur enters into a relationship without fear, without means of contraception, and the mechanisms of devaluation of both himself and women go hand in hand.

Resentment, anger, revenge on all women for that personal drama overwhelms the heart of a man. Coupled with pronounced self-abasement, with a dull instinct for self-preservation, this leads a person into the deepest neurosis.

Thus, sexual addiction is fraught with symptoms of painful self-affirmation, which in turn may be the result of unresponsive stress, unresolved internal problems, elements of frustration and many other factors that speak of the complexity and ambiguity of each situation. And even more difficult is the awareness of environmentally friendly relations with a woman on the basis of consent, respect, mutual understanding, love. Men avoid stable and permanent relationships because of fears. In the first case, it is possible that the association works as a fear of losing the mother, in the second - the fear of being deceived again. In a man, the struggle between the destroyer and the creator. Entering and almost immediately destroying the relationship, he does not realize their value and depth. A man often does not want to take responsibility for building a family or a solid, strong relationship with a woman with whom you are pleasant, cozy, comfortable, afraid of trust and spiritual closeness. This is a consequence of pain, fear, despair, resentment. Only by getting rid of this ballast, you can understand that the true value of relationships is in trust and mutual care, then life will take on a new meaning!