WHY DO MEN WANT NON-STANDARD SEX? SEVEN BASIC REASONS MEN'S INCLINED TO NON-STANDARD SEX

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Why are men so stubbornly clinging to those types of sex that sometimes seem to their wives and girlfriends to be real perversions? The answer is: According to my data, there are at least seven main reasons for this male behavior. Let's call them now.

There are seven main reasons why men are prone to very non-standard types of sex:

Reason # 1. Features of the formation of male sexual physiology

This primarily applies to those men who:

- in one way or another, they are not indifferent to anal sex. (Well, their erogenous zones (especially around the anus) were formed in such a way that they most like different types of just such sex and that's it! They themselves are not to blame for anything!);

- have congenital or acquired erection problems, are complete or partially impotent. Such men either still can do something in sex, but they are capable of it quite rarely and therefore need additional psycho-emotional stimulation (something "sharp"), or they are only capable of playing the role of a passive side and therefore, again, still prone to anal and oral sex.

As you can see, everything here goes into the realm of genetics and heredity, and therefore many men who are prone to certain types of non-standard sex are, in fact, genetically programmed for them.

Reason # 2. Features of the formation of male sexual psychology

In this case, we are dealing with such cases when a man, either in the womb (due to various features of the folding of his hormonal basis), was mentally formed rather not as a representative of the stronger sex, but as a woman, or acquired various deviations (from the point of view of his male nature) already directly in the process of his childhood and adolescence. This is most often manifested:

• - in boys and young men with pronounced features of infantilism and a lack of desire to have developed muscles (such men completely ignore sports in their youth and therefore usually have very noticeable body defects: they are either too full or, on the contrary, very thin);
• - among young men and men who do not seek to communicate with their peers, shy away from joining large campaigns, try to live on their own and therefore easily fall under the influence of older women and men who already have specific sexual inclinations (and it is in communicating with them and realize themselves in the sphere of intimacy, assimilating other people's traditions);
• - for boys and young men who tend to be friends, cohabit and marry women who are either much older than them, or have obvious defects in appearance and are among the obvious losers in life: from such ladies who are not spoiled by male attention, in principle, it is much easier to achieve complete submission in the field of intimacy;
• - in men who are prone to bisexual relationships and have some experience of homosexual relationships.

Reason number 3. The desire to try something new, associated with the desire of a man to dominate, domination in his relationship

And in this sense, non-standard sex itself is often not at all a way of obtaining additional sensual pleasure, but rather a way for a man to test his status as a leader in a relationship.

In this case, the male logic is as follows: “If I am a real man, then I have the right to do whatever I want in my bed. And if someone there disagrees with something, then goodbye! This approach most often manifests itself:

• - wealthy men who have financially dependent wives or mistresses;
• - in men with various small mental or psychological deviations, deeply disappointed that they are not appreciated by others, unsuccessful in the sphere of self-realization in society.

Reason number 4. Male sexual satiety

Among men, there are many who have always devoted so much time and energy to sex that by the age of thirty (someone by the age of twenty-five, someone by the age of forty, etc., etc.), they have already tried so many things, that in intimacy he is only interested in what is no longer connected with the actual sexual intercourse, but with its psycho-emotional side: such men like to persuade someone to do something and, accordingly, get a huge emotional boost if something still succeeded. (For example, to persuade people to have group sex, to change partners, etc., etc.).

This phenomenon is especially typical for the traditionally pampered female attention of people of creative professions and show business, just rich people, representatives of criminals, etc. etc.

Reason number 5. Male sexual fading and erection problems

According to my observations, after a gradual weakening of sexual activity begins in men at the age of 35-45, men seem to be divided into three large groups:

• - on those who accept the reduction of their sexual needs as a given, completely resign themselves to what is happening and live for themselves further as usual;
• - for those who wish to extend their male sexual age through sports, outdoor activities and tourism, thanks to the use of various medical and folk drugs that have a sexually activating effect;
• - for those who wish to compensate for their sexual extinction and erection problems by receiving additional emotional doping, unusual sexual arousal, a kind of sex drive: watching pornography, watching someone else's sex from the side, recording sex on videotapes, intimacy with dressing up and role-playing games, group sex, etc. etc. Being in such an erotic action (or even just anticipating it), such men experience a surge of new emotions, overcome their problems with erection and get new pleasant sensations from sex.

As you already understood, it is the men of the third group who are most often inclined to seek intimate diversity after the age of 40.

Reason number 6. Inclination to sadism and masochism

No matter how sad it is, however, a certain percentage of those men who are inclined to go on such sexual experiments that cause special resistance in women, have certain mental and psychological disorders, are sadists and masochists, that is, people who are inclined to enjoy not at all from themselves sex, from the pain and humiliation that sex brings either to their partners, or to themselves. These men are distinguished by a pronounced desire to put everything in the field of sex "on principle", rudeness, a tendency to verbal abuse of their partner and forceful influence.

As you can imagine, with such men it is best not only not to create intimate or family relationships, but also not to communicate at all.

Reason number 7. Acquisition of certain sexual inclinations under someone's influence

Well, the last, seventh reason is very diverse. Men may want very specific types of sex simply because:

• - thanks to television, they know that it is prestigious and quite interesting;
• - many acquaintances do this (Moreover: they laugh at their friend who has not tried IT yet or does not take part in general sexual entertainments);
• - this was suggested by an authoritative person for them (say, a close friend or older brother offered to temporarily swap wives or girlfriends, etc.);
• - some of the past girlfriends (wives) taught one or another type of sex;

Etc. etc.(As you can imagine, this is especially true for highly suggestible men who are easily influenced by others).

Note: As you probably yourself understand, in real life, most often there are men in the consciousness and subconsciousness of whom two, or even three and four reasons are mixed at once. For example, a rich man who has long been fed up with just sex, offering his young wife or mistress something completely non-standard, at the same time wants to once again emphasize who is the boss in the house, and to get new sensations and stimulate his weakening erection. Or, say, an unlucky man with an unstable psyche, desperately jealous of his more successful friends, may demand something from his wife, wanting at the same time to keep up with someone more successful and assert himself through the outright coercion of such a lady. Etc. etc.

Five points of my position on the issue of non-standard forms of intimate relationships:

1. Indiscriminately to define by the term "sexual perversion" everything that does not fit into someone's mind is categorically wrong! Otherwise, someone will want to refer to sexual perversions and scenes with kissing in the movies, and oral sex, and erotic massage, and even the massive use of vibrators in the families of seafarers, pilots, seasonal drilling workers and just single women
2. Instead of the general concept of "sexual perversion", from my point of view, it should be highlighted:

• - separately those types of specific intimacy that are recognized by society as socially dangerous and are categorically prohibited under the threat of criminal punishment: rape, sado-masochism, pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, all kinds of incest, violently fraudulent inclinations to heterosexual, homosexual or lesbian relationships, various options for sexual coercion and creating favorable conditions for prostitution, child molestation, etc. etc.
• - separately, those types of specific intimacy, which have long become a part of modern sexual culture, are completely voluntary and are not prohibited in any way in the Criminal Code. Somehow: oral and anal sex, mutual petting, masturbation, the use of some special erotic devices in intimate proximity, the use of all sorts of exciting erotic video products, clothes and accessories, medical and folk stimulants, etc. etc.
• - those types of specific intimacy, which are also completely voluntary, are not prohibited by the Criminal Code in any way, are already quite widespread, but the very nature of which does not allow them to be part of the mass public cultures: group sex, participation in someone else's sex as an observer, such an exchange of sexual partners in which there is no material (career, financial) interest, etc. etc.

1. Having a penchant for certain types of specific sex, men and women should in no case impose it … Having received a refusal, they should definitely abandon the manifestation of their inclinations in relation to this particular partner, and look for such a partner who will support his certain sexual endeavors.
2. Faced with a partner's propensity for certain types of unconventional sex, men and women should have complete freedom of choice: or accept the rules of the game of the partner, or terminate this relationship.
3. Society has no moral right to condemn certain male and female sexual inclinations or addictions not prohibited by the Criminal Code.

It does not have the right simply because this condemnation at its other extreme will represent the imposition of views on sex by some other group of men and women. And since this planting, in essence, will again represent almost violent coercion other people to such types of sex that they do not like or from which they will not get pleasure, this, from my point of view of a professional psychologist-practitioner, will again be categorically wrong, a kind of version of the sexual totalitarianism that once already took place in the former USSR.

conclusions

These are my professional views on this sensitive issue. Of course, you may have your own opinions and positions, and this is quite normal. However, I draw your attention to the following point: According to my surveys and observations,

Stop or prohibit the partner's aspiration

to some kind of non-standard sex

succeeds only in no more than one case in ten

And all this (as I said above) simply because:

• - in one case, behind such a man's behavior will be his desire to somehow stimulate his erection and fading sexuality;
• - in the second, the physiological or psychological conditionality of his behavior (the hostage of which he is either at the level of genetics, or at the level of incorrect maternal upbringing);
• - in the third, already inculcated in him by his previous sexual partners a tendency "to something intriguing", which eventually became his own well-recognized sexual need;
• - fourthly, his desire to assert himself and show who is the most important person in a relationship;
• - in the fifth, various mental and psychological deviations of this man.

And therefore, it is really possible to stop certain male proposals for non-standard sex only if the man wants it due to his desire to imitate his circle of friends. That's all. In the presence of all the other motives listed above, it is practically impossible to extinguish a man's interest in something intimately non-standard!

Of course, it is still possible to suppress certain male non-standard requests. To do this, it is enough to make a scandal, threaten to leave (and even defiantly quarrel and not communicate at all for some time). However, in fact, most often this only leads to the fact that non-standard male sexual inclinations go somewhere sideways, into the plane of a conscious search for a partner who will definitely support certain male sexual endeavors, goes into the plane of outright betrayal.

Of course, personally, as a practicing psychologist, I know many cases when wives or girlfriends decided for themselves that it is much more profitable for them to allow their husband or friend to have sex "on the side" that did not suit them at all personally, and at the same time did not lose given to a man as a husband or partner. However, alas: personally, I also do not consider this approach to be any successful way out of such a sexually difficult situation. And that's why:

• - On the one hand, many ladies, forced for years or months to suppress their natural feelings of jealousy and resentment, often began to suffer from various psycho-emotional overloads, brought themselves to nervous exhaustion or mental breakdown, and eventually became so conflicted that their men from they left all the same.
• - On the other hand, many men, having created a sexually satisfying "left" relationship, eventually got used to those partners so much that they shared their specific inclinations that then they themselves made the decision to break up with their wife.

And I hope that you understand that both of these end results (and in fact, they are the same result!) Can hardly suit anyone …

Due to all these circumstances, in total we get three:

Resume number 1. What we still call completely non-standard sex is actually quite widespread. It's just that the peculiarity of modern social traditions is such that not only society as a whole, but also many men and women who practice such sex rarely admit it publicly.

Resume number 2. The tendency of men (and women too) to completely non-standard sex has not only subjective, but also objective reasons and therefore with great difficulty lends itself to both correction and final "correction".

Resume number 3. Faced with the manifestations of a partner's inclination to completely non-standard sex, one should either (in one form or another) accept his rules of the game, or part with him completely. Any half measures are often illusory and more like self-deception.

A. V. Zberovsky