Disruptive Behavior Around You

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Most likely, each person at least once in his life asked himself the question: "How to react to the destructive behavior of another and how to live with such destructive behavior?"

I present in this article my observations and reasoning on this topic

First, one can not live with destructive destructive! Or, learn to live next to him, at a distance. Moreover, to find the necessary safe distance for you in relation to this. As they say - "to be outside", but "not inside."

And secondly, do not take it personally! After all, "disgustingly permissive" comes from another person, and perhaps this is the only possible way for him to establish interaction at a given time and he cannot manifest anything else, due to his inner limitations. His many years of life experience led to this. And this has nothing to do with you, but with this person. If you understand this, then you can not react and not take it personally, or react less.

And, of course, do not forget to look at your personal life story, at your actions, and sometimes inaction, thanks to which the destructive behavior of another in our space can unfold. This is already your area of responsibility.

Sometimes it is dangerous to maintain reconciliation and tolerance in a community of people, where intransigence and intolerance are elevated to the principle of existence. It is advisable to clarify for yourself how you indulge the manifestation of the "disgusting" in your space.

It is impossible to build a perfect world. Yes, you yourself know. Although it is possible that you dream about it

Then what to do with all this? And can you influence reality?

Recommendations:

1. Let go of the illusion that you can remove conflicts from your life. And the sooner you do this, the faster you will move on to new actions. By internally resolving conflicts to be in your diverse reality, you will release that part of the energy that is spent on holding your tension and indignation. I clarify that to allow conflicts to “be” is to understand the inevitability of this type of interaction, as a part of reality.

2. Do not hang in a problematic situation for longer than necessary. Yes, we are upset! And who doesn't get upset with destructive behavior directed at your personality? Quickly disassociate yourself from the situation. Otherwise, all your energy will be spent on active resistance to the "enemy", or on keeping the colossal tension and internal dialogues with him, if you are not ready to enter into an open struggle. And you will have no strength left for productive actions to get out of pathological relationships.

3. Separate your area of responsibility from the area of responsibility of the other person. Don't support the "production" of destructive behavior towards yourself. You can be responsible for your behavior. You are not responsible for the behavior of another adult, no matter how he convinces you of this.

Your area of responsibility may include your desire to regulate the destructiveness of the interaction, as well as the desire to make as much effort as you can to influence what is happening.

4. If there is no way to influence the situation, then get out of the problematic interaction, or move away to a safe enough distance you need.

5. Whenever possible, gain experience and develop the skill of translating destructive relationships into human-like relationships.

And the last thing … Remind yourself and others that it is necessary not only to need and demand human relationships, but also to "produce" these very human relationships.