Working Mom: Guilt Complex

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

With the advent of the baby, the life of the family changes significantly. New worries appear, responsibility is added, and all this basically falls on the shoulders of the mother. The most troublesome time, perhaps, can be called the first year. And then the child grows up and the daily routine is established

And during this period, and even earlier, a young mother may feel tired from routine and a desire to diversify her everyday life, return to work, her hobbies, or discover a new field of activity.

At the same time, having decided to follow their desires, many mothers begin to feel a rather painful feeling of guilt in front of the child for the fact that now he will be given less time.

One of the main reasons for this may be the stereotype imposed by society of an ideal mother who must do everything, always do her job perfectly at home and at work, giving maximum attention to her family and not forgetting about her career. And if something does not work out, then there is a feeling that something has been done wrong and it needs to be corrected ……….

Moreover, under the influence of guilt, the behavior of a mother who devotes time to professional or personal interests can take destructive forms: buying the child many desired toys, indulging all his desires, the absence of any restrictions, requirements, regime, or excessive concern for the child's physical condition. etc. Also, as if apologizing for her absence to her husband, a woman often takes over most of the household responsibilities (according to statistics, more than 70%!).

So what can be done? I will give several arguments in favor of the fact that every mother, if she wishes, should have time for personal and professional matters

Firstly, only a happy mother can have a happy baby. It is known that the smaller the child, the more he is emotionally connected with his mother and all mother's emotions and mood are transmitted to him. But a person whose needs are not satisfied can hardly be happy. Therefore, forgetting about your interests is harmful both for yourself and your family!

Secondly, it is not the quantity that is important, but the quality of the time spent with the child. Very valuable for the baby is the possibility of daily full-fledged communication with the mother, whether it be joint games, conversations or other family events. You don't have to be around 24 hours a day for this. It is enough to set aside time for the child every day and fill him with positive emotions, while it is important to put aside laptops, phones and other household chores.

And, thirdly, it is impossible to keep up with everything in the world, and is it necessary ?! After all, some of the responsibilities at home can be shared with your husband or other household members. And it’s not so scary, in fact, if something planned remains unfulfilled. The main thing is that my mother always found time for herself, for relaxation, and of course for her family.