2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Dissociation is one of the protective mechanisms of the psyche in people who have experienced trauma, when a person perceives what is happening to him as if from the outside. He does not feel like a participant in the events, he is like an outside observer. Thus, he separates negative emotions and his personality, preventing them from connecting, so as not to fully immerse himself in a feeling of discomfort or pain. The wounded psyche "chooses" such a strategy of behavior to stabilize its condition. The child becomes invisible when the conditions of his existence are worse than his disappearance. Part of the personality becomes invisible, remains forever in the moment of unlived trauma - it freezes. And it remains in places that associate with trauma. The existence of a child is often discovered in emotional - figurative therapy through the client's attention to their bodily sensations.
Children who are invisible can be in the closet, in the ground, in stool, in a barrel of tar and in other, most unexpected and unpleasant places. The fear of manifesting itself in a traumatized child is much stronger than the discomfort he experiences being in such an inappropriate place for the child.
As a rule, invisible children "betray" their existence when the client's psyche is sufficiently strong. When he begins to accept himself and his desires, to cope with his emotions, to take care of himself. Metaphorically speaking, the client has already formed an Adult part.
Invisible children timidly report their existence through discomfort in the body. Pain makes its owner "do something about it." So, one girl developed severe pain in the right hypochondrium. She visualized there an image of a wardrobe. The cabinet turned out to be clogged with ice. And only when the girl allowed the ice to “show all her feelings,” it melted, and a little girl, about three years old, was found inside. Almost thirty years ago, she hid in a closet, avoiding sexual assault, and stayed there. The child decided that it was easier to die than to experience the pain and horror that he had to go through again. In order for the three-year-old to get out of the closet, the Adult had to gradually build her trust. First, she offered the child food. The plate with food had to be put in the closet, because the girl categorically refused to even look outside. Then the Adult sat down next to the closet and began talking to the baby in a quiet, calm voice, telling her fairy tales. The next day, the Adult put a plate of food outside the cabinet, next to the door. And she continued to talk to the baby. The Adult then placed the food at such a distance from the cupboard that the baby had to take the first step towards the food. She asked the girl what she wanted and fed the baby the food she desired.
An adult told the girl: “You can stay in the closet as long as you want. I'll wait for you. I won't let anyone hurt you. I am in charge of your safety now. You are nice. I am you, only you are small, and I am an adult. I will always be with you, I will take care of you. I allow you to have your desires and talk about them. I allow you to show any feelings. I accept you. It took a week for the little one to believe the Adult, accepted her strokes and firmly settled in her heart. Another girl, the Invisible Man, was found in the feces.
The client, a young woman, suffered from constipation for a week. Neither enemas nor laxatives helped. In the form of constipation, she managed to see a little girl who was not even a year old. The baby froze in feces and tried not to give herself away. Her mother was disgusted with her daughter's feces and washing the child turned into a real torture for the girl. The mother literally tore apart the intimate parts of the baby, showering the child with curses. When the adult part of the client got stronger enough to be able to accept the girl with her trauma, she reminded herself of herself with constipation. The situation was compounded by the traumatic experience of a client's pregnancy and subsequent abortion at the age of fifteen. Her "fifteen-year-old girl" confused her belly swollen from constipation with pregnancy and tried to destroy the baby in the feces. The adult part managed to come to an agreement with both parts. And with a fifteen, and a little. The situation was resolved. And the adult added to her integrity two parts that were missing, frozen at different ages. It takes serious effort, patience and love for us to have a child that we can accept from the abyss of pain, that which causes disgust. The inner child is waiting for us to notice, call and LOVE. He helps us accept ourselves as we are.
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