2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In one group, someone asked the question - What is self-love?
I remember a time when I, too, could not understand what it was. I read various tips on how to love yourself. But it was completely unclear to me how to do it. My difficulty was how to convince myself that my nose is very small, when the mirror clearly shows that it is large, and how to consider myself thin if it is not. But in my mind these were the necessary conditions to love myself. How can you fall in love with a big nose and being overweight?
A lot of time has passed since then, and I have come a long way in this direction, now I finally know what it is and want to share with you.
I think self-love is not when you look at your reflection in a mirror and you like it. After all, it will not always please you, even if now you are an ideal beauty. All people age. What, then you will stop loving yourself?
This is not to indulge yourself with various purchases, not "because I deserve it." In this case, you are just a victim of marketers.
Self-love is not synonymous with selfish.
Loving yourself is not living "for yourself."
For me, this is when the words "I love you" please, but do not surprise at all, because there is an inner confidence that I am quite worthy of love, such as I am.
When I don’t think: “well, he just wants me and confuses it with love,” or: “he does not love me, but an invented image, or, in general, he’s lying”. Or: “Oh well, really, he loves ME ?! Can not be! For what?"
When I do not need to pretend to be a star, and then such as I am I am not interesting to anyone. Or - I need to somehow improve myself (lose weight, grow wiser, pump up, do plastic surgery), then I will be worthy of love.
Self-love is when someone's impartial comments do not respond with pain in the heart, but only cause regret that apparently a person's life has not worked out, since this is how he is trying to increase his self-esteem.
It's just an inner confidence that I am good enough, the way I am, not ideal and not perfect, and that I can and should be loved.
But if you are not lucky to have it initially, then it is not so easy to come to it yourself. But there is good news: it is possible and for this there is psychotherapy!
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