2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Parents who believe that their children should be grateful to them for everything have never really loved their children, but have always been in a commercial relationship with them: I am you, you are me.
This attitude towards a child has nothing to do with selfless love. Such parents raised and released people burdened with a sense of guilt and duty, connected with their parents tightly by the umbilical cord of obligations.
In this case, the psychological separation of the child from the parent is extremely difficult. Not everyone is capable of breaking out of this psychological slavery, and some even consider parental slavery to be the norm and defend their own enslavement with foam at the mouth. It's like someone who was born in prison and raised there, believes that restriction in movement and a piece of sky overhead is the norm.
I have repeated many times and I will not get tired of repeating that children owe NOTHING to their parents, they must pass on all the good that they received from their parents further to their children, and those to the next generation. This is how the energy of the genus makes its own evolutionary path.
If parents demand to repay the debt from their children, then the genus gradually ceases to exist, it tends to extinction (infertility, miscarriages, early impotence, reduced sperm motility, stillborn children, etc.) since all the energy is wrapped up in the previous generation. This is one of the important reasons for procreation failures.
I am not saying here that you need to give up your parents and leave them in trouble. No. It's just that if the parents gave the child the disinterested energy of love, the child can share this energy with the parent when he grows up, completely voluntarily share it out of love for the parent, and not out of obligation, out of duty, not out of the fact that someone obliged him to be grateful. It seems to me that the demand to be grateful to someone, and even more so to your own child, is unnatural and cynical - this demand kills love and freedom, but gives rise to guilt and slavery. Any debts in love kill love, since love is a free, unhindered and innocent flow of the energy of goodness and compassion.
A parent who demands attention and gratitude from a child is actually still a child himself, who has not been fed up with love from his parents, who is hungry for love or who has given the previous generation out of debt more than he had for free giving. I do not expect anything from my adult son, but I am always happy to accept his sudden, free gifts and I am not offended that he does not give me something there, since He is my child, and not I am him.
Love your parents out of voluntary love, not out of duty and gratitude for having given birth and raised
Recommended:
Violations Of The Hierarchy In The Family System. What Parents Should Not Do With Their Children
Author: Maria Mukhina, psychologist, systems therapist Violations of the hierarchy in the family system Hierarchy is one of the parameters of the family system, designed to establish order, determine belonging, authority, power in the family and the degree of influence of one family member on others.
Do Children Owe Something To Their Parents?
This is relevant for many, I am constantly asked about it. But what is there - I myself have been looking inside myself for an answer to this question for a long time. Or even questions: Why do parents often expect their children to return some debt?
"I Have Bad News For You: Love For Children Does Not Exist As Such." How Parents Mutilate Their Children
“The youth went wrong,” the older generation grumbles. If we proceed from this message, one gets the impression that wherever we look, we are surrounded by effeminate men, “IT people” crouching in their virtual world, emancipated hysterics and girls who dream only of how to quickly marry a rich “sugar daddy”.
Should Children Talk About Their Weaknesses
Talk to your children about your weaknesses. How do they need THIS, and not "I got up at your age at five, milked the cows, Dumas in the original honored the homeless", The other day we are walking with my daughter after the meeting, I wanted to and admitted:
Parents And Children: Who Should Grow Up? (part I, About Children)
There are parents and there are their children. Until a certain moment, children are happy to receive attention, even excess and care from their parents, even if this attention and care greatly constrains their freedom - children, in principle, be so comfortable, the main thing is that they are there.