Victims Of Emotional Abuse (Part 3). Exit

Video: Victims Of Emotional Abuse (Part 3). Exit

Video: Victims Of Emotional Abuse (Part 3). Exit
Video: Today’s Takeaway: How To Leave An Abusive Relationship Safely 2024, March
Victims Of Emotional Abuse (Part 3). Exit
Victims Of Emotional Abuse (Part 3). Exit
Anonim

She enters the office. Middle-aged woman. Outwardly attractive, but so … extinct. Eyes run, hands nervously fingering the napkin. Sometimes she looks at the door or out the window with some kind of haunted gaze. Three months ago, she found the strength to leave her husband, who accused her of not having children, while her test results are in order. They were married for 4 years. She cannot say for sure what exactly caused the divorce. “I can't do this anymore” - and tears. With a more detailed conversation over several meetings, we get a picture of classic emotional domestic violence. When a husband systematically humiliated his wife, questioning her femininity, intelligence and beauty, arranging scenes of jealousy, weeks of silence. She did not like going with him to visit friends and acquaintances, because there he always came up with a way to ridicule, or left her for a long time alone with strangers and she was uncomfortable.

Here, now they are divorced, and she feels emptiness and fear. The fear of entering into new relationships and the fear of being left alone forever. She understands from the point of view of logic that she is a young, attractive, intelligent woman, but lack of confidence in her abilities does not allow her to live in peace and build her future. What to do?

In such cases, we are talking about the violated personal boundaries of a person. The task is to restore self-confidence, learn to say "no", restore self-respect, faith in oneself, in people and in a happy future. Oddly enough it sounds, but the victim of emotional abuse believes that he cannot manage on his own, cannot be responsible for his life and make independent decisions. She expects someone else to do it all for her. Because for a long period of her life she was in the complete power of another person, who brought her into the state of a small, driven, intimidated child without the right to vote.

Emotional violence is a very subtle, imperceptible influence on the human psyche in order to completely subordinate it to the power of the aggressor. To understand whether you are being emotionally abused or not, ask yourself these questions:

  • Does it ever happen that your partner humiliates you in public or makes fun of you?
  • Do you agree with your partner's behavior that is unpleasant to you?
  • Do you justify his impartial actions towards you?
  • Are you trying to please your partner, not upset him?
  • Are you afraid of quarrels with your partner, his jealousy or claims?
  • Do you interact with your friends and family the same way you did before you entered into a relationship with your partner?
  • Is your partner withdrawing from the conversation you are trying to have with him about your relationship?
  • Does your partner tell you that you nag him when you try to talk about your relationship?
  • Does your partner call you hard-hitting words that mean you are a "fallen woman, a woman of easy virtue"?
  • Have you lost confidence in yourself, are you afraid to displease your partner?
  • Do you feel that something is wrong in your relationship, but you don't know what?

The list of questions goes on. If you answered yes to them, then you are experiencing emotional abuse. The choice to stay in such a relationship or not is always yours. But remember that it is one step from emotional abuse to physical abuse.

How to deal with exiting a relationship with emotional abuse?

  1. Realize that the responsibility for your life lies entirely with you. Learn to make your own personal, informed decisions. It doesn't matter if they are correct or not. They are eligible for implementation!
  2. Realize that the relationship in which you were so uncomfortable and painful is already over. They are in the past, and they have no way to the present and the future. Accept the very fact that life has changed. It is already different now. If necessary (and this is what often happens), mourn your past life, but not drag it with you into the future.
  3. Learn to separate “should” from “want”. Define your personal values, set your own rules and follow them. After all, the only person to whom you owe something is YOU.
  4. Define your personal boundaries - what is acceptable to you and what is not. Learn to distinguish between invasions of personal space and defend it. For this, the first rule is to be able and not to be afraid to say "no", to leave uninteresting places, to part with unpleasant people, not to watch / read uninteresting films and books. You have every right to do so!
  5. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to distinguish between manipulations in relation to yourself and resist them.
  6. Build contacts with friends and family. Surround yourself with people who are ready to support you in difficult times. Enjoy life and new relationships! Build new ways of communication, avoiding harsh manipulations in relation to yourself.
  7. If necessary, contact a supporting specialist. Don't be discouraged if someone refuses to work with you. Look for "your" person!

Recommended: