How Will Our Word Respond ?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This extremely revealing (but in many ways fictional) story requires, I believe, deep awareness, the direct determinant of its causal relationships is so obvious … This illustration, like many others (similar to one another), usually unfolds in front of everyone …

The girl, let's call her Glory, throughout her married life literally exuded a regularly pretentious poison on the head of her husband (in fairness, I note: this poison very often consisted of quite justified, understandable anger, and yet it was unacceptable and dangerous.)

If we soften the expression of the heroine as much as possible, her claims would roughly sound like this: “Oh, you, such and such, unlucky, unworthy husband is a real punishment! And what is this punishment for ?!"

Anger and resentment poured out on the negligent husband in the evening format. And okay, if in private communication, but this was done publicly and often - in heart-rending, martyr's cries, including with children - two growing up sons.

Provoked by the long-term contempt of his wife - Sema (Vladislava's husband) after a certain number of years (including, as if, to the relief of Glory herself) left the inhospitable house, replacing it with a more "warm place". But the woman's disappointment, which had accumulated over the years (with the rupture of marital relations), burst out with even more violent force. Slava could no longer hold back expressions of general anger at the unlucky life and unworthy husband, sending all imaginable and inconceivable curses to her former companion in a moment of weakness … “So that you …! Yes, so that you …! And let it pour out for you!"

It seemed that all the fateful grief of the woman offended at the life was concentrated on one single person - the ex-husband and father of her sons. Through the efforts of his ex-wife, the miserable Semyon turned into the eternal culprit not only of the past, but of all subsequent troubles … Whatever happened, Slava habitually explained the bad incident by the influence of the ill-fated Syoma: “And why did you meet such a crumbling in due time ?! That's no luck! What a misfortune! " And again: "May you …" and further in all the expressions suggested in this case …

And it was as if misfortunes, indeed, were pouring down on the poor woman with more and more force … First, the eldest son strayed from the normal shore - broke down, got lost and has been in a mental hospital for 8 years now for treatment … Then the younger one - disappeared, disappeared and is he alive? - no one knows … What do you think, ask Vladislava: "Why, in her opinion, is fate so merciless to her and her sons?" - what will be answered to you? “Well, of course, the ex-husband is to blame! This … "Immediately followed by a countless number of epithets, in which Glory will put all his despair, bitterness and anger on life …

This unfortunate woman with a broken mother's destiny certainly deserves sympathy! At the same time, one thing is obvious: the mother, with her desperate hatred of her ex-spouse, with her slanderousness and curse, actually "brought" "damage" to her sons, because they are blood from blood and flesh from flesh, children of a cursed man …

Why has this simplest thought never occurred to this generally intelligent and very literate woman? Mystery…

Now, at the time of information and technical flourishing, many know enough about the essential, sacred meaning of words spoken in life. But do people give this circumstance the proper meaning? And do they give account of the spoken expressions in vain? Hardly, right ?! … In vain! This omission often leads to sad and dangerous consequences … And the above case is a clear illustration of this …

Any sound set carries a certain energy. No wonder, for example, that prayer, as a lofty, divine message, has a special, salvific and healing power?

Each verbal message carries a certain message. Kind affirmations (including even more so instilled in children) are positive programs for the future. Insults, obscene expressions and, even more so, negative wishes are energy mines of an obligatory action in the future, embedded in the aura of the addressee.

As a psychologist, I understand: any living person (for his own individual reasons) produces, accumulates and splashes out situational negative energy, which manifests itself in such natural reactions as resentment, irritation or anger. At the same time, I am absolutely convinced: emotions of a destructive nature require an acceptable, environmentally friendly way out.

Let's look at these optimal remedies with examples of working with anger …

1. If you have any long-term reasons (or a natural tendency) to aggressively express feelings, go in for sports, as well as regular meditation practice, sing (from the word - sing) your emotions (it helps a lot). You can also buy a punching bag home and beat it as needed, thereby expressing all the accumulated emotions. You can arrange staged pillow fights (and let the fluff and feathers fly - steam will be released, but the neighbor will not suffer). You can crumple and throw pieces of paper like snowballs (this is "fun and angry") … You can hide in the bathroom and shout your anger under the shower … You can throw it out on paper, then enthusiastically tear it to shreds and scatter it all over the room … But no in no case should it be aimed at a specific person - it is irresponsible, unprofitable and dangerous.

2. Try keeping a diary of emotions in which you can write:

- the reasons for the emergence of specific emotions (which usually triggers them);

- the consequences of expressed emotions (those usual results to which they lead);

- the nature of these emotions, depending on the circumstances, situations and persons;

- your attitude to the received (as a result of expression) results;

- rational understanding of the causes and consequences of this emotion with a constructive resolution of situations.

3. There is another acceptable and effective way of expressing anger - safe (in a pre-thought out form), but real hypertrophy of feelings, with a focus (special fixation) on this emotion. This is best done alone, otherwise most of us will just feel uncomfortable. Generate your anger, focus on it, dive into it, express it more than you feel. You can imagine yourself as a lion or a leopard and growl heartily and even pretend to deal with, for example, unnecessary plastic bags or paper cardboard. Concentrating on the feeling, honestly live it, no matter how unpleasant it may seem and soon you will see - it is not there, it is over, evaporated.

4. Anger (in a playful form, of course) can also be “wail” and then cry (anger is often combined with despair and resentment). And even if there are no tears, pretend sobbing with your voice. It doesn't matter how it sounds, even if it's unnatural. Nobody will hear you anyway (you are doing this alone, not for show), but it will become easier for you: after the voice, feelings will come out.

5. In addition, for a quality experience of anger and analysis of its hidden causes, there is a professional way of working with anger - psychotherapeutic practice, as a way of working with oneself and improving one's life.

I would like to finish this publication with one wish: friends, let us be as conscious as possible in our life - in relation to ourselves and those who are in our area of responsibility! Remember: the fate of our loved ones, our children does not depend on the quality of formally observed obligations, but on the sacred content of our attitude, expressed meanings, actions and words.