How To Leave Your Husband

Video: How To Leave Your Husband

Video: How To Leave Your Husband
Video: HOW TO PREPARE TO LEAVE AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE! 2024, March
How To Leave Your Husband
How To Leave Your Husband
Anonim

Until recently, everyone without exception wanted to get married, and suddenly - a mass exodus? First - "How to get married?", Now - "How to leave your husband?". The next stage, probably - "How to get married if you are for …" An interesting trend, if Yandex is considered a valid sociological tool for cutting public sentiment

However, the essence of this question is gloomy. The reasons for the whole society are almost impossible to find. You can paint a lot of funny words about general infantilism, but who will it help. In addition, infantilism is not always the reason for leaving a husband. There are as many reasons as there are people in a family crisis. But they are all characterized by one thing - unbearable pain. As long as the pain is bearable, no one asks an internet search engine strange unanswered questions.

Here is one of the versions of where the pain comes from and what makes it worse.

It is not difficult for young girls to get married, but it is difficult to build a family. And it is even more difficult in the conditions of the modern era of total consumption to preserve it.

Our time is rapidly spurring on people a feeling of fictitious hunger, turning us into chicks with eternally open mouths, shouting: "Give, give, give!" And even when we have enough of everything by the standards of the last decade (I am silent about the last century), then by the standards of the present we are sure that we have nothing.

"No money, no love, no understanding, no sex, no freedom, no entertainment, no, no …"

The categorical belief that something important is "not" turns life together into pain. It seems that everyone has, or everyone desperately pretends that they do. And you do not have this. The logical way out is to get out of here and go where you are.

Before asking the question "How?" it is useful to ask a few more. "Why do I want to leave my husband?", "Where do I want to leave?", "From whom and from what do I want to leave, leaving my husband?" etc. Having asked yourself, or better through a psychologist or confessor, many uncomfortable questions, reflecting on them, you can recognize what it is? Is it some kind of neurotic solution, fooled by society and its own "cockroaches"? Or is it an objective necessity? And already having dealt with yourself, having understood yourself and your true needs, true feelings, you can build a strategy. However, then you will not get into the network with funny "how". All answers will be found in the heart's own internal finder.

Oh yes, everything is individual! This is a psychological axiom. There are practically no identical stories of marriage and divorce. There are always nuances that the whole action clings to. But there are some common points noted. It’s like the fact that women, leaving one husband, are not going to linger in the status of loners. They usually want a better life in a new marriage.

- In the second marriage, women do for the husband what they would not even have thought about in the first. - one colleague told me. - And if they did at least part of this, then their first marriage would be preserved, and their personal level of happiness in general would be much higher.

According to the observations of psychologists, she said, after a divorce, women begin to appreciate more what they have. And they agree to a second marriage, which, if you look objectively from the outside, often has a lower level of quality in many respects. But it is important that the main indicator - a woman's attitude to her man and her level of tolerance - is radically different. In practice, she learns the art of giving, the art of appreciating, and not just with the beak - "give, give." And her second husband, as a rule, also "beaten" by life, also already knows how to bypass the sharp corners of everyday life, and not to rip the thin, fragile lace of family happiness about them.

I brought her words for a palette of opinions, although I did not quite agree with her. Since I have a second marriage. And in the first one I, rather, did too much to preserve it, certainly much more than now. However, it is also true that I have made mistakes. Which today, even in delirium, I do not commit. I just became an adult and began to solve the same issues in a different way, behave in a completely different way in similar situations. The quality of various indicators is also a very controversial point. But I have it, once. And two, I'm subjective. The moment "now" is always better than the moment "before" and "after".

Some have exactly what my colleague told me. Life is diverse.

It often seems to outsiders that it is easy to make a decision to leave a husband. From my own experience I know that this is preceded by a painful meat grinder in the shower, and after leaving - an even bigger meat grinder. Having gone through a divorce, you will never be the same again.

I will add an important point that you must be aware of. Family is also a spiritual matter. When deciding to leave, a woman goes not just to a new husband, a new family. Everything is much more serious, this is a big bet. On this score, I read such an accurate remark from one saint that either after such a step a woman finds God, and with him a new, healthier love, family, attitude to people, to life in general, or decays and goes completely downhill. The third is not given to women. These are men who can freeze their souls and live as pillars of salt all their lives, but for women, everything is very specific.

This is probably why in the question "How to leave your husband?" there is so much fear. After all, the question is not a husband. And in yourself, in your new enormous responsibility, in your shame, in the ratio of truth and lies, from which you feed yourself with a cocktail, interrogative dilemmas with an open date "I can handle it, I can't handle it", "it will be better or worse, and suddenly it will be worse" …

And you know for sure in the depths of your soul that in this situation no Yandex will answer for you. This decision is entirely up to you.

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