How To Stop Feeling Humiliated And Resentful?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

First, let's understand the term and define the concept of "humiliation".

Humiliation is a feeling that a person experiences when his ideals and point of view are completely crushed. This state is a consequence of the fact that he is forced to adapt to how it should be, as it is accepted or as others say, ignoring or not seeing what he himself considers to be right.

It seems to such a person that both at work and at home everyone is trying to offend him, humiliate him and do not give him anything. It is difficult for him to achieve respect from others, and he always tries to get recognition and do everything even better, but his efforts are not noticed, because in reality they are not needed by anyone. In communication with others, this person tries to please, to be loved and be friends with him. He really doesn't understand why the people around him treat him like an empty place.

This is how you can describe a person who essentially lacks dignity and opinion.

And what does this situation look like if you look at this person himself?

What is he going through? Why can't he show himself, curry favor, coax, please, expect and expect to be appreciated?

Such a person is sensitive to any criticism and is quite touchy. The lack of his opinion or the inability to keep him, most likely, has been dragging on him since childhood, because his parents always knew how it would be better for their child. That is, a person has not learned to feel his choice and does not understand how to present this very choice to those around him.

There are no established patterns of behavior. Even if a person knows how to defend something, to express, then in any case he is faced with a problem within - the problem of understanding oneself. He does not understand how he really wants, what he likes, how to behave in a given situation. To become a happy person, it is important and necessary to regain control of yourself and responsibility for your free choice.

What steps should be taken to get rid of resentment and humiliation?

1st Recommendation.

Start small! Instead of "I was humiliated" - "I feel humiliated."

“I was offended” - “I was offended”, etc. "I am angry". "I condemn."

Such a change in the wording even within your own thoughts will lead to the realization that this is your choice. Even if initially you do not understand your reactions, it is not scary. Direct your attention inward, ask yourself questions: how do I feel? How do I want to proceed? - and over time you will begin to understand yourself much better.

Note! When you are humiliated or offended, you really want to change the situation and the environment, and it seems that a new team or a new relationship can fix the whole situation. It often takes a lot of time to notice that the situation repeats in different places and with different people.

This is because:

You communicate the same way.

You react the same way.

You are experiencing the same type of familiar emotions.

The situation cannot change without changing the usual types of response.

Even if you manage to change jobs or relationships, you get a temporary respite until people recognize you and get used to you.

After meeting and communicating, there is a risk of finding yourself at the starting point.

Of course, there are circumstances under which it is possible and even necessary to change the environment, but such decisions should not be made under waves of emotions, at the moment when you experience humiliation and resentment, but in a state of calm and balanced mind, when the storm is over and when you are ready to bear responsibility for your choice.

2nd Recommendation.

Be honest about your feelings. To change something, you need to know what to change.

To recover, you need to understand what to be treated for.

When you admit to yourself that you are not satisfied with the situations that occur in your life, or rather, those emotional responses that you experience, then this is the moment of the beginning of changes.

I want to warn those who take the risk - it is not easy, learn to feel your opinion and oppose it to the opinion of other people.

When a person decides to get out of feelings of humiliation and resentment - to get out of the sacrificial position - he gets confused. Many people are afraid of this condition. But this state of not knowing is much better than the previous one. Because a person begins to listen to what he really wants, begins to listen to himself and tries to do as he himself chose.

A person tries what seems best to him in a given situation, gains experience, evaluates it and tries again until he finds the best solution.

This process can be compared to a ladder of knowledge with a large number of intermediate states.

Having learned to feel and express ourselves, we find the path of truly Our life and no longer turn off it. The opinions of others can remain important to us, but they cease to scare us, because there is knowledge and response inside.

Internal response - knowledge about yourself - your opinion - does not appear immediately. They grow out of trial and error.

Note that this should not be just an opposite opinion, but specifically yours, the one that suits you. Respect comes to a person who has his own opinion and lifestyle. The personality consists of little things, everyday choices, the ability to defend one's views, the absence of fear of conflict, a life without waiting for approval.

PERSONALITIES MORE IMPORTANT TO CARRY, SAY, EXPRESS … IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE HEARED.

If you are still in the position of a victim or have a question on this topic, you can share it in the comments.

Tell us how you deal with feelings of resentment or humiliation, supplement this material with your own ways to get out of these states.

If you need support or psychological therapy to get out of a codependent relationship or victim position, leave your requests.