2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
"All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." L. Tolstoy
Many books have been written trying to work out a universal recipe for a happy marriage. Each family is built with its own bricks, each of the spouses has their own system of values. In families where they are similar in spouses, or are close to two, there is a stronger union. Working on relationships is a rather painstaking task that requires a considerable amount of strength, patience, and mutual understanding.
The foundation of a strong relationship is mutual trust and mutual respect. Moreover, remove one item from them, or it will come from only one partner - the risk of the collapse of these relations increases a thousand times, especially at the time of the passage of crises. These two points are the basis, the fertile soil on which a functional family system grows.
One of the most productive interaction schemes is constructive conversation. In a functional family system, difficulties are always discussed and solutions are sought. After all, the result should not be an escalation of the conflict, but a rational and optimal way of resolution.
In a healthy family, they do not resort to reproaches, insults, attacks on the personality, claims to the form of what is said and bickering. In turn, in the dispute, they use refutation, refutation in essence and counter arguments. The way out of conflict situations promotes personal growth, and not the accumulation of aggression until the next conflict situation.
In a functional family system, there is no suppression of personality. Spouses have a right to time for themselves. The boundaries and personal space of everyone in the family are clearly defined. Such couples spend time both together and separately without prejudice to the relationship. Moreover, the result of this should be a strengthening of relations, and not vice versa.
In a functional family, mental and physical abuse is not acceptable. Complete taboo. In a healthy family system, all issues are resolved without assault and threats.
In a healthy family, resentment does not accumulate. Each of the spouses realizes that no one is perfect, the world is not perfect. Situations may turn out differently than we would like. And in most cases, everything can go wrong, the spouse may not live up to expectations, but this is not a reason to panic. You need to understand and, most importantly, accept a realistic picture of the world, a realistic situation in the family and there will be fewer reasons for resentment.
In a healthy family system, spouses accept each other as they are, admit the possibility that the spouse does not correspond to ideals and patterns imposed by society, recognize the individuality and versatility, versatility of the other half.
In a functional family, they support each other in every possible way. There should be no loners in overcoming difficulties, because a family is a collective work. Following these simple rules, you can build harmonious relationships that will withstand more than one crisis …
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