MOTHER'S EMOTIONAL BURN OUT - FAMILY SYSTEM REVISION

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Vaccinated or not? When to do it? Which? When to introduce complementary foods? Up to what age to breastfeed? Which kindergarten should I send? Which school?

Tired of constant concentration of attention, which is necessary for the safety of the child. In order not to fall off the couch, so as not to run out onto the road, not to grab a hot cup, so as not to pull a dirty typewriter into his mouth, not to climb into the outlet.

Mom gets physically tired, often takes the child in her arms, rolls a heavy stroller, loads her back and lower back, does not sleep at night, does not find time to eat, relax, sit in silence, there is no time for sex.

Finally, mom gets emotionally tired. Because he constantly restrains his emotions and pushes his needs into the background. You can't be angry with a child, you can't be angry with your husband. Does a lot of "must" and almost does not "want".

All this is beyond the power of one person. Not one fragile woman can do it. No, of course you can do it alone, but at the cost of physical or mental health, at the cost of relationships with the child himself, at the cost of your personal life.

📌 SHARE RESPONSIBILITY

If you have the opportunity, share with someone close to you the responsibility for the safety, health and upbringing of the child. With my husband, with grandparents, with kindergarten teachers, with teachers, with a nanny, with those who are ready to help you.

It is a great relief when someone can decide to give the child Nurofen instead of you or wait a little longer, take him to the garden today or stay at home, say “it's okay that I ate badly at lunch, will catch up for dinner”.

📌 ASK FOR HELP

It is often difficult for us to admit that we need help, and even more difficult to ask for it. We are not used to doing this, we were taught to be strong and to cope with everything on our own, and sometimes they said “in this life you can rely only on yourself”.

In fact, there are many people in the world who are ready to help. Do not be afraid, do not be ashamed, use every opportunity to help yourself. Ask your sister or friend to be with the child for a couple of hours, ask the neighbor to watch for 15 minutes.

📌 SHARE RESPONSIBILITIES

There is a stereotype - a woman is raising a child, a man earns money. Today, more and more families look at the situation differently. Many dads are increasingly involved in helping and caring for the child.

If you haven't gotten enough sleep for a week, ask your husband to sleep with your baby. Put the child to bed in turns, agree who will be responsible for the fact that the child has breakfast, lunch and dinner, who will walk with him on weekdays, and who on weekends.

📌 SPEND TIME FOR YOURSELF

Many moms feel guilty about taking time for themselves and not for their baby. It turns out to ask someone to be with the child when there is a good reason or an important matter. You cannot entrust the child to someone just to rest.

Remember, a happy mom is a happy child. Take time for yourself, body care, your “want”, just lie down, meet with a friend, read a book, watch a TV series, get a manicure / pedicure, go for a massage.

📌 MAKE A DECISION TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

There are many “but” reasons why you cannot afford all of this. There is no energy, time, money, raise a child alone, few friends and no one to ask for help. Grow up with your husband, but the husband doesn't help. Your mom is helping, but you don’t want to ask again.

Your child needs a kind, loving, full of energy as well as sleep or food. Growing up, children remember not what order was in the house, but what kind of mother was cheerful and happy today, how we played hide and seek with her and laughed.

Taking care of yourself is a decision to be made. And then you will not look for excuses and excuses, but opportunities. And I will help you with this 🧡

From a series on Burnout