THE MARRIED LOVER: Strong On The Outside, Weak On The Inside

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

On a social network, I received a letter from a girl who positions herself as a professional mistress of wealthy married men. I thought for a long time whether it was worth publishing it and answering it. In the end, I thought it would be very useful for both married men and their wives. Therefore, I am giving the girl's text with small cuts and my short commentary. I hope she reads the answer she asked for as a New Year's gift. “Andrey, you can condemn me, but I still want to hear your opinion. You can even describe my story, I don't mind. If only they would give answers to my questions. I am 28 years old, my name is Christina (name has been changed). A beautiful slender girl, bright, noticeable and modern. A native Muscovite. The family is ordinary: mom is a doctor, dad is a manager in a car dealership. We are not even the center, we lived on Domodedovskaya. She studied at school for "4" and "5". I entered the university as an economist, myself and for the budget. Clever. From the age of 18, she began to enjoy the attention of men. Cafes, movies, restaurants, clubs, gifts and so on, you yourself understand everything. It quickly became clear to me that relationships with mature married rich men are more economically profitable than with peers, even from wealthy families. I'm an economist)))

Why is a married lover more profitable? Because, firstly, married men have a sense of guilt before their mistress, because they know that they are not going to marry me, and they are wasting my years. Secondly, adult rich married women compete with each other: a lover for them is a matter of honor and prestige, and therefore they invest a lot of money in me to make me look better than the lover of other men. They don’t invest anything in their wives, because they don’t want other men to pay attention to her. Therefore, their wives are sold to work colleagues or casual acquaintances from social networks for attention, a compliment and a chocolate bar))).

Thirdly, a married lover communicates more easily, because he only needs sex. You give quality sex and you get everything from them, no matter how much you ask. Unmarried people need attention, care, tenderness, loyalty, attitude and much more, for which they are not going to pay, naively thinking that all this is a free bonus. Fourth, a married lover rarely sleeps with you, because they need to go home to his wife. Therefore, at night you can still go to the club or sit on social networks from another account. You can even have a relationship with two or three at once, if only the schedule was built correctly. And it doesn't work with unmarried people, they are the owners and control everything.

I had contact with a dozen married people (I had more than one married lover). But the most serious relationship is with four so far. With the first of her rich married women, while still a student, she traveled a lot, in four years of relationship she visited almost thirty countries. He gradually launched his business, his business was plundered, he became impoverished and became uninteresting to me. I barely got rid of him. The second married lover bought me a new Audi, but after two years of relationship I got caught on a bribe and fled from the investigation to the UK. So he lives there. Until now, he writes and calls me, swears eternal love, sends money and promises to return to me. As if I need him))). I didn’t even go to London at his invitation, she lied, as if the visa was denied.

The third married lover, after a year of passionate relationship, asked to give birth to his child. She said - "no question" if she buys me an apartment. I managed to ask on time: just before the economic crisis of 2014, he managed to give me a kopeck piece in the middle of Leningradka. I got pregnant, then his wife found out everything. The married lover was non-Russian, such wives have no right to leave before their kin. Therefore, all in sadness and anguish, he gradually merged, tormented, suffering and sick. Fortunately, he pays decent alimony, you don't even have to work. Although I still work in the bank, in the VIP clients department. After all, a good job is the best place to meet rich men.

True, I don't run after oligarchs at all, it's hard to find them, and the middle peasants are quite enough for me. It's just that their wives don't know how much money can be squeezed out of their husbands by simply not denying them sex. And I, and people like me - we know))). That is why I live happily: work without fanaticism; nannies; good gyms; five star hotels; two or three dates a week with a guaranteed restaurant and sex; interesting weekend out of town; shopping and gifts at the first hint; expensive medical care; connections and the right people. Etc. What else is needed?

Now, my son is three years old. I found out about you when I was looking on the Internet, how to tell a child about dad, if there is no one either according to documents or in real life. I read one of your articles and admired how logical it is: “Tell your child that dad works very far; regularly give supposedly good gifts from him; send like letters and cakes from him. Asking the grandmother and nanny to support this version. In the meantime, try to still find a suitable man, who may, if not become an official husband, then at least a normal father. It is advisable to do it before the age of five, while the child's psyche is very plastic. She fully accepted this scheme, she is even ready to give birth to such a hero of her own child. Moreover, I myself want two children, and my age is quite sufficient. Therefore, in order not to confuse my son, I do not show him my lovers at all, and now I have three of them at once. I am preparing him immediately for the adoption of a normal final father, albeit not biologically native.

Three months ago at work I met another rich married man (another married lover), he is a VIP client of our bank. The relationship this time began to develop too quickly: he is already asking for a child from me; also ready to donate an apartment; shouts that he will leave the family at my first signal. Such a short period of distributing a man for such feats is my personal record. Either my professionalism is growing, or there has really been no sex in his family for a long time, the poor man has gone completely wild))). But the trouble is that I have no joy at all! I don't need a serious relationship until I plan to give birth. His love only makes me laugh, I can hardly restrain myself. I am shocked by these men. I think I'll pull at least a year, and then I'll definitely have to give birth again, because a second apartment won't hurt.

Now what are my questions and problems. The main problem: I completely stopped respecting men! I know clearly: no matter how cool and rich they are, no matter how tough their character is, if they get everything from me in sex, then after six months (maximum - a year) of relationships, they turn into a weak-willed rag. I do not ask them to marry me, they themselves start talking about it! Honestly, I am not deceiving you! They themselves begin to hang me on the ears, that they only love me, that they will leave the family, that they do not get divorced only because of the children, that if it was their will, they would leave for me right now and live their whole life, but they only need to their children in marriage have grown a little … Moreover, these men, at the beginning of the relationship, themselves told me that I should not count on anything like that, because they have no plan to leave the family, and will not. They say, meet me, but at the same time remember that the relationship is hopeless and finite. And when you fall in love with someone else, just tell me and I will immediately let you go, get married and arrange your life. I tell them that this relationship without obligations suits me perfectly.

And then everything goes according to the same scenario: Male love, jealousy begins, systematic overnight stays and weekends with me, conversations on the topic - "when we will be together and have common children", then attempts to leave the family follow. Moreover, all this is in secret from his wife. These married men are such humorists! They are trying to leave the family without informing their wife about it))) This is their game, like children who close their eyes and are sure that they are hiding))).

I myself ask them: “Do not do nonsense! We mate two or three times a week and everything is fine! Do not break a scheme that is comfortable for both! If you aggravate the situation, your wife will find out and then everything will collapse! Then you yourself will suffer and cry, rush back and forth with things, and then you will have to leave me!”. But, no: these heroes are shouting that they have no life without me, they are asking for trouble! Of course, then the wife realizes that her husband has another, scandals begin, the men begin to rush, gradually blown away, disappear in sadness and grief. Unfortunately, not forever! They call and write regularly; send money, flowers and gifts; ask not to forget them; follow on social networks; jealous and even threatening. Haha)))

I tell them: "Leave me alone, or divorce your wife!" I'm not saying because I need them - to actually fall behind. Because I don't need this emotional swing at all! I need a positive relationship, gifts, sex, interesting leisure time. Calls from their crazy wives, who for six months do not notice that there is no sex in the family, are not needed at all! But these rags cannot help but divorce, or go to me. As a result, they ruin such a good start to the relationship, ruin the self-image! Sometimes you even have to enter into separate negotiations with your wife; by agreement, inform her when her husband meets me, so that he gets pounded in the face from his wife, calms down and already lagged behind me completely.

This is how I live. Now you understand why I do not respect men. Because they say and think a lot about themselves, but behave like puppets and allow them to twist ropes from themselves. Hence, I have a lot of questions. Will I ever be able to respect men? Will I fall in love with someone? And in general: how do these rags manage to make a career and make money !? After all, all my married lovers are really successful people! Of course, by wasting their time on me and throwing money, they make their situation worse. They all lose! But besides their mistresses, they also have a family and children … Do they really not understand this at all? But for everyone around them, they are all the same - cool and businesslike, with positions, money and characters! And according to them, they achieved everything themselves? They have imported education, personal growth courses, boards of directors behind them! The characters are actually tough, even cruel. How is this even possible? How can you be such fools and hostages of your dick? As an economist, I am in shock! The budget of the country is in the hands of these men, and they spend everything on women, fuck … everything in the literal sense of the word! Open my eyes to the world, I don't understand something! Although, of course, I use all of this successfully.

I also do not understand their criteria for choosing their mistresses. Okay, me: young, educated and smart. But after all, in the general circle, I regularly see the mistresses of my lovers' friends - there are such magical fools, downright hysterics, a complete redneck, stupid silicone monsters and so on. But they are still given expensive cars, apartments, cottages abroad, sent to give birth in the United States, etc. For their sake, they really leave their families, abandon their own children. Do men in general, perhaps, do not see who they are climbing on? It is clear that nature did not give them an eye on the penis, but the brains still have to work)))

You know, men at their parties laugh about women: “Women are like ice cream: at first they are cold and hard, then they melt and stick..” I myself have heard many times how they laugh at women. And I think at the same time: “Of course, this describes us women well! But you yourself are exactly the same !!! You also need to look - who melts and sticks more, you can hardly tear yourself away from men in tears and snot!

Write, if possible, what it all means, and why it is so arranged. Really interesting. I understand that you can send my letter to the ban: as I see from your website, you do not really like the mistresses of married men. You even advise how to deal with us))). But pliz, make me an exception! Answer me as a New Year's gift: I sincerely say that I am not taking anyone away from families, and I am not going to. I just want to better understand the world around. I’m almost an excellent student))) If you make an article, I advise you to call it “Married Lover: the No. 1 doormat in the world”.

Here is a letter, with my minor edits. Now I will try to answer briefly. Briefly - because a lot on this topic was said by me in a special book "If you changed or left your husband, and you want to return him back to your family." Now to the point. The logic of the process is simple and fits into 10 points:

♦ The logic of behavior of a married man in love with a mistress or Married lover: weak inside ♦

1.90% of everything that men do is done for sex … A normal healthy man has a daily need for sex. The peak of sexual activity is during the daytime (not at all at night when the man is tired).

2. A man wants to get sex on demand. A man is offended and insulted when a woman denies him sex, avoids sex, or makes it difficult to get that sex. Especially if this woman is her own wife.

3. Success in career and business is characteristic primarily of those men who had large complexes in their youth, did not enjoy much attention from women, and did not receive sex. Hence, their heightened desire to become someone in this life, to make big money and gain public recognition. Many men, underestimated by women in their youth, striving for success in life, at the same time strive to provide themselves with guaranteed sex at the expense of early marriages (between the ages of 18 and 27).

4. If the wife of a man aimed at success watches her appearance, in every possible way supports the sexual activity of her husband, she takes the initiative to have sex, then everything in the family is good and a mistress is not needed in principle … The occasional one-time betrayal of her husband, of course, is sad and blameworthy, but they do not pose a threat to the family. If a man's career and incomes develop upward, and his wife's sexual activity gradually tends to downward, then the vectors of the family life diagram, to put it mildly, do not coincide. A flourishing man feels that the demand for him among women around is growing, and the demand for him in his own family will fall. He decides that the wife has concentrated only on the children, and his functions as a husband are reduced only to the mode of the wallet. If he sees that there is enough money for the family as a whole, this creates a basis for calming his conscience. The logic works: “Dad works a lot - dad provides for everyone - dad has the right to spend money on himself, including providing sex for himself - this is ultimately beneficial for the whole family as a whole, since a satisfied dad provides his wife even better and children - the presence of spending on a mistress motivates even more to become more successful, including for the wife and children.

5. Married lover - Consciously or unconsciously, a man begins to look for a permanent mistress, most often at work or in those places where there is optimal logistics for sex, so that at the beginning of a relationship intimate meetings take a minimum of time and the wife does not suspect anything. Since the man did not initially plan to leave the family and did not think at all that the relationship would be long-term (everyone usually counts on several months), he may not choose a clever and beautiful woman as his mistress. The main criteria for a man are sex warranty; the woman's readiness to give the man the sex that the wife did not agree to; the initiative of the woman herself to sex. At the same time, completely mistakenly, men are convinced: "Such intensely sexual behavior is usually typical of financially dependent women who want to get something from a man in exchange, and most financially unsuccessful women are not very educated and not very smart."Hence, their logic is simple: "The more a potential lover seems poorer, financially (service, career, etc.) dependent and stupid - the higher the chance that sexual harmony will be longer." The logic is tested by the man's personal experience: “My wife is smart, educated, being married, she became independent - so sex is over. Since I want, I don't want to repeat this anymore. " Hence, a man (even three times educated) consciously chooses for himself a stupid and three times silicone woman, if only she would not hesitate to beg for money from him, thereby she seemed very dependent, gave a maximum of sex and did it completely without complexes. In this dependence, reliability, bright vulgarity and guarantee of sex - the whole secret of the success of mistresses. And the smarter the lover, the more consciously she will behave this way, the more she will receive bonuses from a married lover who is hungry for vulgarity, sex and a sense of power over a woman. The smartest, can then even play bitchiness, but this is a separate topic of conversation.

6. Married lover - Having found himself a very comfortable mistress in sex and communication, if a man communicates with her for more than three months, he is guaranteed to flirt and fall in love. (Exception: if a man has several mistresses at the same time … In a situation of equidistance from several women, the game can last a long time. Indeed, in this version, a man is in love only with himself, he is a complete egoist. But even in this case, he will fall in love: only this woman should be useful for his career and business, he will love only the one that will work for him) The fact is that men do not know the specific specifics of human sexual behavior. They are not aware that one of the specifics of the genus homo sapiens is a very difficult process of pregnancy and childbirth, nursing him until the age of three, when in the wild a lonely female will never cope with this task and will die. Therefore, Mother Nature has come up with a program of love, which is the main element in the instinct of procreation in humans.

Love has many functions. One of them is that if a man communicates and has sex with a woman (even virtual) for several months, this means that there is a very high chance of conceiving a child (after all, nature does not know contraceptives and male animals are not protected by interrupted sexual intercourse). Accordingly, it is necessary to ensure the life of this woman and her unborn child by maintaining communication with this man, for at least two to three years. (Even if for some reason they have a quarrel and no more sex). And now, between a married man and his mistress, love is guaranteed to break out! And the better the intimate relationship between them - the brighter the love. In principle, partners may not be suitable for each other at all, but compatibility in sex alone will be enough so that the endlessly quarreling man and woman cannot part with each other for a long time, they immediately reconciled and arranged a hot sex marathon. The importance of frequent violent sex is that it creates in the brain a feeling of complete health of the partners, which signals the possibility of the birth of healthy offspring. From here - new genetic inherent programs are connected, the connection of lovers is strengthened even more.

7. Now the main thing: ♦ Married lover - when a man falls in love with his mistress, he ceases to control himself. Even if he does not know that he has fallen in love or does not believe in love at all. ♦

Love is indifferent, those who themselves were born of love believe in it, or do not believe. She just takes her own and moves on.

The tragedy of love is that love is usually believed then, when she's already leaving. And they shout after her.

So that a man does not think about himself, no matter how much money he has, no matter what character he has, from now on - he is not his own master! Because the instinct of procreation is not in vain called basic: in the conflict of three leading instincts - basic, self-preservation, food, the basic instinct always wins. Therefore, people fall in love even in war and with those who are mortally dangerous to fall in love with (such as the wife of a crime boss or boss, etc.). Therefore, married men in love logically launch their careers, business and family: after all, the roar of the marriage pipe sounds imperiously in their heads, which orders all the time to be next to the woman with whom there is good sex and therefore there can be children.

Men do not understand that in the wild there is no strategy for the future, no plan, no tomorrow - everything is there only today, animals live one day. Therefore, if before the love of his mistress, a man had a perspective and a strategy for life, then from the moment of love all this is radically reconstructed to ensure the interests of a woman. The more responsible a married man is, the worse it is for himself, his family, his children. Because he begins to invest all the remnants of his rationality in providing for his mistress. Hence the donated cars of the apartment, secretly acquired houses for that future new family, about which the man is still afraid to inform his lawful wife.

♦ In general, a man before love and a man at the moment of love are two different people. ♦Moreover, a person in love is no longer physically able to admit that he is different. Because, the more successful a man was up to this moment, the more illusions he has that he always controls the situation, that he controls his life, that everything depends only on himself. This is the whole piquancy of the situation:

The shell that will kill him is never heard by the soldier.

The more confident we are in ourselves, the easier it is to manipulate us.

If you don’t believe it, remember the “fairy tale about the puss in boots”, how the Cat convinced the Ogre to become a mouse, and then ate him. He just started to admire his capabilities and praise him. In exactly the same way, lovers manipulate married men: they praise them in every possible way, and men in love themselves do everything to make a woman happy and continue to give sex and praise.

In general, according to genetic programs, a man in love, at any age and with any condition, is simply “food, a resource” to ensure procreation. Regardless of whether children were born from him or not.

Falling in love with a married man is, in fact, his social suicide.

After all, he sacrifices himself and his plans for life to a woman.

Moreover, what is most offensive for married men, this woman may deeply give a damn about his life, health and future. She just solves her female problems. As they say, nothing personal, it's just business …

8. Admitting yourself in love, and therefore noticeably stupid, is psychologically very difficult, almost impossible … Hence, a married man who has fallen in love is obliged to give at least some explanation for his behavior, both to himself and to other people. From here, the man convinces himself and those around him that, it turns out, he has always been very bad in the family. They do not respect him there, do not appreciate him, do not look after him, etc. It is usually difficult to honestly admit that his wife refused to have sex for him - so great. Therefore, any explanations are attracted by the ears, long-forgotten grievances and misdeeds of the wife are recalled. This logic should lead a man in love to the conclusion that he had long wanted to leave the family, he simply did not understand this until he met such a beautiful woman as his mistress. As soon as a man is imbued with this conclusion, he automatically begins to make plans to leave the family and live happily ever after with his beloved woman, who will give birth to children.

9. Married Lover - The longer a relationship with a lover lasts, the more firmly the man sits on the hook.… Because, on the one hand, he begins to form a sense of guilt before his mistress that he cannot marry her in the near future. On the other hand, the feeling of guilt towards the wife and children decreases. As if their financial situation does not deteriorate, then the cheating man mistakenly begins to think that in the event of a possible divorce, he and they will be fine: there will be enough money for everyone, the wife and children will communicate with him, he will feel just as comfortable as when the wife is unaware of anything. A man in love begins to overestimate the degree of his influence on the situation. Hence, there is always a tough crisis, which always comes after the wife finds out about the connection. No matter how much cheating men prepare for a conversation with their wife and no matter what scenarios they draw for themselves, they almost always turn out to be unprepared for what awaits them.

10. Married lover - Then maybe about a dozen basic options for the development of the situation … They depend 70% on the behavior of the wife and the behavior of the mistress after the wife finds out everything, and only 30% on the man in love.

• If the wife behaves correctly, and the mistress makes a mistake, the wife will return her husband to the family. If the wife misbehaves and the mistress is right, the wife will lose her husband. If the wife and mistress both behave correctly - the husband will rush back and forth like a shuttle, lose health, career and money until one of the women makes a mistake, then the man will end up with a rival.
• If the wife and mistress both behave incorrectly, the man also begins to rush back and forth and back until one of the women begins to behave correctly, or another woman appears (the third character), who will receive a problem prize for himself. in the form of a given man.

Etc. Other options are related to the fact that wives and mistresses cannot always lead the right policy for a long time, they often break down and make mistakes, which confuses and complicates an already difficult situation.

Its main difficulty lies in the fact that since the discovery of his relationship by his wife, a married man in love deceives everyone around him at once - himself, his wife, his mistress. That is, his words mean practically nothing: he does not fulfill the promise, takes on obligations that he is not able to fulfill, etc. It is this key moment that is the optimal time for those mistresses whose task is not to take a man out of the family, but simply to make money and acquire property. Because for a wealthy adult man who is desperately afraid of losing his children, the easiest thing he can do is to save his tarnished male reputation through gifts and monetary investments in his mistress. Here are lovers and panicky scared men and spend the last on those women whom they naively considered "subdued" before, no longer seeing and not understanding the obvious: their easy erotic adventure, in fact, is too expensive, and they themselves no longer have control of the situation …

As a matter of fact, this is the source of the disrespect for a man that a mistress can form (and is described in Christina's letter) if she herself is not in love with a married gentleman and remains sober in her thoughts and behavior. If the mistress is in love herself, then her respect for a married man may persist for some time, if he himself does not fall below the low in her eyes by his actions.

♦Why doesn't Christina herself fall in love? ♦Because, firstly, she always has several men with whom she has intimate relationships. Having ample room to maneuver and equidistant from partners, she simply does not come close to any of them to fall in love. Secondly, many modern girls use oral contraceptives on an ongoing basis, which seriously changes their hormonal levels. After all, a decrease in the ability of an egg to conceive a child leads to the fact that a woman does not fall in love with the man with whom she leads an intimate life. That is, a genetically defined love program works only for a man, but for a woman it does not work. Thirdly, Christina quickly managed to create a base for material well-being, so she does not feel a high degree of dependence on men. That is, there is undoubtedly a dependence. However, since the money comes from several alternative lovers at once, there is no special emotional connection with any of them.

♦Could Christina ever fall in love? ♦Of course it can. When, due to age, he feels a decrease in male activity towards his person, he will feel financial difficulties and stop protecting himself. Then love will come. Or she simply meets a man on her way who can turn out to be the wonderful father of her child, and then she will love him after her child loves him. Will want to give birth to him and fall in love even more. Or he will get acquainted with some man in a random way, without a selfish goal, will begin to communicate with him, at first he will become emotionally attached, then he will fall in love. In general, love is like water: it will always find where and how it will seep. If this were not the case, the human race would end. And there will be love, there will be respect.

So I answered Christina's questions.

Now, not wanting excessive moralism, in conclusion I want to turn to married men who have long-term relationships with their mistresses (if they read this article): “Dear men! You should not consider yourself the smartest and most strong-willed people on earth! Understand: because of mistresses, the destinies of those men who are older, more successful, richer, smarter and more courageous than you are breaking down every day! By systematically leading intimate relationships on the side, sooner or later you will fall in love. And when that happens, you will inevitably lose yourself, lose your family, lose respect for yourself from your loved ones, lose your health and perhaps even your life. Is secret sex on the side of it all? From my point of view, definitely not worth it! If you want to better understand yourself and your risks, I advise you to read my book, which was originally addressed to a female audience, but has already received many positive reviews from men: "If your husband cheated or left, and you want to return him back to your family." I am sure: it will definitely be useful for you