For Those Who Want To Get Pregnant

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Part one. Introductory.

I could not get pregnant in any way, and I decided to investigate this matter. Doctors diagnosed infertility of unknown etiology. That is, I am healthy, and the child will not start. Moreover, it was not clear why - the daughter was already there, and after that no special incidents happened to me.

That was six years ago. And my husband and I were on the verge of divorce. Nevertheless, I really wanted a child. I dreamed of him in a dream. Funny cheerful red-haired boy. There, in a dream, I was dying of happiness and tenderness. All the time I showed him some flowers and taught him to speak. For some reason, the flowers were prickly and it was impossible to touch them.

This year I defended my degree in psychology. Well, I chose the following topic for myself: "Dreams of sterile women." Nowhere, either before or after, have I read any research on this topic, and this made it even more interesting. I didn't know then what I was getting myself into

Why dreaming? I was an expert in dreaming. They could be used to make films. I saw all the people who were significant to me before meeting them. I knew - we’ve been through this - that dreams were largely unexplored. And they play a huge role in the life of our soul. As a matter of fact, the notorious Freud is valuable for science not at all for his theory of libido, which was rather quickly dazzled and defeated by his own followers. Freud was the first, the very first to say that in our life, apart from Consciousness, there is also the Unconscious and influences our actions. He introduced this concept, this term, and on this Theory of the Unconscious, five of the seven main psychological schools build their teachings (if I am lying now in number, do not blame me). But then Freud rested his nose on the theory of libido (this theory is now called the theory of the psychoenergetic structure of personality: all energy does not disappear anywhere, but only transforms), took up hysterical women, and on this his value for science was almost lost.

But there was also Jung. He and Freud started together, then fell out, Jung was the first to say that not everything rests on libido, called Freud anxious, and Freud broke his glasses. After that, Jung went away (forgot where) and settled there. For thirty years, Jung wrote down his dreams, of which he was also a great master. He was looking for confirmation of another theory. There was little sex, but a lot of dreams, myths and fairy tales. This theory is called "Theory of the collective unconscious." That is (watch your hands) - Freud did not think of it, he came from the individual unconscious. Jung finished thinking. He saw that the Swiss professor and the Mumba savage had the same set of characters in their heads. He called them Archetypes.

So, this pseudo-scientific excursion was needed in order to explain how I worked with dreams. I needed to understand - and this was my theory - do women who cannot get pregnant have the same archetype marker in their heads? Something that symbolizes the problem? And maybe there is something that points to its cause? And while wandering through almost a hundred other people's dreams, I stumbled upon these two markers, and suddenly I stumbled upon a third - something that indicated a solution to this problem!

Part two. Terrible.

I had three groups of women. The first of them never got pregnant. The second got pregnant, but did not wear it. In the third, control group, women either became pregnant after long ordeals, or they never had this problem and became pregnant easily.

I was interested in two kinds of dreams. Series and simply significant, that is, those to which the women themselves attached importance. They told me these dreams. Part of it I searched on the Internet (there was a special site about dreams, and a whole crowd of barren women gathered there), and there were also my dreams. I remind you that I also suffered from this problem. I was especially interested in women with a similar diagnosis - infertility of unclear etymology.

I want to say one very important thing right away. We were taught to listen and hear. This is the main tool of the psychologist. And for me, the plots of dreams and the way a woman talks about her problem had the same diagnostic value. What words.

So the first group. Primary infertility. It sounds scary, but in fact it only says that a woman has never had a conception without protection. These women had dreams with the same plot.

How they give birth to strange creatures … It could be: toys, dolls, chicken eggs, kittens, chickens. Something very small and does not require feeding. Women in a dream kept them in the freezer, in boxes, handed over to their mother for storage. In other words, they didn't know what to do with them. The dreams were extremely unpleasant. Not a mouse, not a frog, but an unknown animal. Do you understand? The very process of childbirth either did not dream, or also dreamed slightly on a doll theme: they opened the stomach and took out from there … or came home, and they were in a box, but how I gave birth, I don’t know … what to do with it, I don’t know … how to feed, I don’t I know…

The second group of women was with habitual miscarriages, or just miscarriages, and this was the most difficult and terrible group.

Creepy things came to light here. Without exception, all the women in this group had precursor dreams. These are the dreams after which they started bleeding and miscarried.

I will divide their dreams into three groups.

The first group of dreams: symbols are dreaming: something that pretends to be whole and healthy, and then dies or turns out to be sick and dead.

The second group of dreams: dreaming of a husband or mother or his own body in a strange inferior state.

The third group of dreams: dreaming of children, inaccessible, slipping away, lost, not going into the hands, turning into something else.

Please do not be afraid, dear ladies. I myself was scared and even sick when I examined this group. She even got covered with shingles. And what terrible dreams I dreamed then, I even wanted to give up all this. I described from one to five such dreams a day and I remember them by heart. Now I'll tell you in detail.

So … Something that pretends to be whole and healthy, and then dies or turns out to be sick and dead.

Example. A woman dreams that her husband is giving her flowers. A wonderful bouquet. Elastic buds, strong stems. She takes them to put them in a vase of water … and suddenly sees that right before her eyes the stems have slipped, the buds have darkened … everything disintegrates before her eyes, there is a heavy smell of rotten water, flowers fall from her hands, completely rotten, into a fetid puddle on sex … As far as I remember, the dream-harbinger was repeated, each pregnancy ended in miscarriage. More than anything, she was afraid to see this dream.

Another dream of this group (from the site, it seems) - a woman walks along a forest path, through a forest, everything is green … suddenly she realizes that there is darkness and swamp all around. Someone hands her a stick, she leans on it, and the stick falls into the slush … And so every time before the loss of the child.

The second group of precursor dreams: defects. I remember one dream - a woman dreams that her husband has no teeth. Bare infant jaw. Another dreams that she has no breast. She seems to have been, she passes her hand - no. The third one dreams that her old mother is giving birth lying on the bed, and it is so unpleasant for her to understand that an old gray-haired woman is giving birth, and it is not known from whom, and it is not known who …

Do you understand, huh? A certain lack of vitality, unsuitability for life, the absence of important things is dreaming. Teeth are needed to feed. Breast - to feed. Youth is to conceive.

And, finally, the third type of precursor dreams - children, inaccessible, slipping away, lost, not going into the hands, turning into something else. I remember a friend telling me. She often went to the gynecologist, was treated, there were miscarriages. And now she dreamed several times how, in the doctor's office, she sees a child on a chair in the corner. Small, in a yellow jumpsuit. She rejoices, calls him to her, sits down on his haunches, he runs to her and disappears. Or he just looks out of his chair and doesn't go. She roared every time she woke up.

Control group.

Before my friend carried her child out, the boy ran up to her in a dream and she hugged him tightly …

Before getting pregnant and giving birth, women often dreamed: breasts full of milk. Or how they have a child (very often such dreams) - and they keep him on their knees, they know that, for example, he is a day old, and he has ruddy cheeks, a mouth full of teeth, he even talks, and in general he is great. They dream again - bouquets of flowers, but only here everything is without a catch, or the sun is dreaming. Just the sun in the sky. Or bread. Or that the husband is hugging. Or that they are picking daisies in a clearing. Or counters full of products, delicious and beautiful … And it is always light and WARM in these dreams. One woman dreamed (and this dream first pushed me to my discovery) of a huge water lily, a huge yellow water lily, on which, like Thumbelina, you can stand and hold it.

Part three. Explaining.

No one in our country, as far as I know, deals with the state of the psyche of women who cannot conceive or bear a child. There are no special rehabilitation programs, there is no complex therapy, including the participation of both a gynecologist and a psychologist. Nobody works with the husbands of these women.

Meanwhile, these women suffer almost in silence. People around them do not even suspect that these women are not developing an inferiority complex at all. They develop worse and harder - a complex of inferiority. Neuroses develop, slightly similar to the delusions of pejorativeness: I am not good for anywhere. Every menstruation is tragedy and tears. They cannot see strollers and walking children. Those who cannot bear, those who have lost a child, are especially affected.

The reproductive system is the strongest and most capricious mechanism in the female body. While researching women, I saw strange things.

Those who, speaking roughly, got pregnant, scored on it. Losing hope or getting carried away by something else. Writing a dissertation, a book. By opening a business, etc. Those who, in despair, having spent all the money on IVF and ditching the entire cycle, got pregnant, got pregnant. At least. Those who got pregnant (this is already confirmed by statistics) who took the child from the orphanage. Those who parted with their husband became pregnant - from another, beloved. The woman who dreamed of her husband without teeth became pregnant from another, having previously been treated for seven years. Perhaps she did not perceive her husband as a reliable father and protector?

Doctors unanimously advise distraction. It has not been proven in any way, but there is a theory that close attention there blocks this whole thing in some strange way.

My conclusions are as follows. A woman, especially a young woman, may not become pregnant until, for some reason, she is not ready for this. Perhaps she was frightened by childbirth. Perhaps she does not want a child from this man, but she hides it from herself. Perhaps she does not want a child at all, but she is supposed to want to, and she toils. All the dreams of the surveyed women indicate the same problem of the state of the personality - disintegration. That is, not integrity, splitting of parts of the soul. One part of the soul strives for something, the other is afraid. Fear, unwillingness, even disgust - that's what these women dream about. You focus on this problem and see only the word "must" - you need a child. Your inexperienced and unprepared soul may be frightened, it may not be ready, it may have other tasks for the next year.

What I was talking about is called a mandala. This is the most powerful archetype in Jung's theory - Wholeness, Self. Circle, completeness, agreement with oneself. Flower, water lily, sun, loaf of bread. Hugs - closed arms - are also a mandala. Warmth and light are also symbols of integrity, personality integration. Milk is a symbol of mental strength, health, fertile time. The puzzles fell into place, the circle is closed, you are happy, and not necessarily because you are pregnant. Just happy. Maybe your child feels - well, finally, now you can come, curl up into a ball and calmly heal in your mother's stomach. They will not be nervous and worried, and all the time touch my heel to check how I am there … She may not even notice anything at first, because she has a new project on her nose, or a loan, or she fell in love, or just she feels good, because she knows how to feel it just like that …

Look at your mothers and your female relatives in general. Who has how many children? Were there those in your family who were expecting a child for a long time? Aunts, grandmothers, sisters? What time did your mother and grandmother give birth?