2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Oral people tend to come across as sweet, gentle, caring. At the same time, they are distinguished by an analytical mindset and skepticism. They are talkative and verbally gifted, and use this skill to gain attention and gain recognition. Entering into a relationship, they tune in to the needs of the partner.
Oral trauma is formed around the fear of being left behind and helpless. The world around you is perceived as a dangerous place where it is impossible to get support. Hence the tendency to selflessly clinging to others, the fear of loneliness.
Such children learn early: there is no support and cannot be, you need to endure and adapt to very difficult, sometimes unbearable people.
In psychoanalysis, the formation of an oral character is associated with the emotional inaccessibility of the mother in the first year of the child's life, caring for the infant formally, without sufficient warmth. The development of oral character is facilitated by the presence of depression, chronic illness, alcoholism or drug addiction in one or both parents.
The typical oral child begins to walk and talk early, quickly assimilating the activity that allows him to gain attention to himself.
Such people look for support in others, forming a dependent relationship. Moreover, their need for something else is not satiable. In any word and gesture, they can see a sign of imminent rejection. In order to avoid this, they surround their partner with exceptional care. Unfortunately, it is very common for people with an oral disposition to have relationships with narcissists, psychopaths or sociopaths. That is, those who are not capable of deep empathy and therefore cannot give the oral personality the warmth and acceptance that she needs so much.
The bodily oral character is manifested in the restriction of breathing, since this is one of the simplest ways to suppress feelings (mainly aggressive ones). Such people have a sunken chest and rounded shoulders. Chronic tension in the shoulder girdle and the corresponding tension in the upper back, between the shoulder blades.
Oral signs
- Intolerance to loneliness.
The oral character has big problems with loneliness associated with the inability to withstand rejection, abandonment. He is waiting, yearning for someone who will bring him love. As soon as such a person is found, he is taken into a tight ring of care, care and vigilant control. As a result, the partner begins to distance himself in order to have personal space. The oral person feels rejected. And the trauma repeats itself.
- Dependent behavior.
Propensity to all types of addictions, including building addictions, overeating, alcoholism and drug addiction, gambling addiction, shopaholism, etc. etc. All this is needed in order to achieve rapid suppression of feelings of emptiness, loss and despair.
- Obsessive concern for others.
Such a person can be very open, sociable, always ready to support and help. But by caring for others, a person with an oral disposition tries to take care of themselves. Not knowing how to ask, he always expects something in return, and can react extremely harshly and negatively if he gives something for a long time, but in the end he does not receive what he hoped for, but did not ask for directly.
- Tendency to passive-aggressive behavior.
Not knowing how to express aggression directly, the oral personality shows aggression indirectly. Passive-aggressive behavior can manifest itself in unfulfilled promises, systematic "accidental" delays, accidentally thrown tactless remarks or complaints. A person with an oral character really wants to be heard, but at the moments when you need to prove yourself or defend your boundaries, he is silent.
- Tolerance to violence
One of the main characteristics of such people is the ability not to notice violence against them, not to attach importance to it, to justify the abuser in all possible ways. Even if the violence is obvious, it is difficult to resist it. This attitude makes them a target for controlling people.
- Failure to respect your needs
Oral personalities see the needs of those around them as more important. Especially when it comes to close people. They gladly satisfy other people's desires, because they consider this a manifestation of love. Unfortunately, this feature is often used for selfish purposes.
The goal of oral psychotherapy is so that a person can finally allow himself to stop acutely reacting to criticism, be able to refuse openly, learn to endure loneliness, find a comfortable distance with partners, ceasing to dissolve in them.
Recommended:
Just Don't Leave Me! Fear Of Losing A Partner, Fear Of Being Abandoned. Trauma Of Abandonment
In contrast to the fear of rejection, which is based on a sense of shame for the felt needs and personal characteristics, the fear of being abandoned much deeper resembles the panic horror of the state of forgetfulness, non-existence. How to understand if a person has this fear?
ABILITY THERAPY. THE INJURY OF THE ABANDONED. INJURY OF THE THROWER
Abandonment - for us, this is the feeling of a person with whom we have unilaterally stopped communicating. At the same time, the one who quit did not allow the separation procedure to take place. He simply disappeared. He did not say: “You were important to me,” or “It was too difficult for me to be with you,” he did not thank, did not express any feelings, no attitude, but simply got out of contact.
"I Want To Return The Abandoned Lover." What's Behind This?
When the relationship ends through an unexpected break in the connection of one of the parties - one of the partners, as they say, "throws" the other - the "abandoned" may have a desire to return the partner who broke the connection.
Abandoned Man Complex
Article author: Slava Smelovsky Whatever one may say, but one part of our experiences revolves around trust and distrust (schizoid character), and the other - around caring and losing this concern. How does the inner world of an abandoned person work?
End Of Relationship: Abandoned And Abandoned
Relationships, with rare exceptions, begin and end. There are many reasons for this. At some point, they are exhausted and the participants no longer receive something important. Or they are built in such a way that one gives more than he receives, gradually depletes and wants to stop it.
