The Theory Of Non-existent Self-esteem Or Why Pay For Air When You Can Just Breathe It?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The theory of non-existent self-esteem or Why pay for air when you can just breathe it?

I express my sincere gratitude to the wonderful connoisseurs of the souls of our time and my friends - Alunika Dobrovolskaya and Olya Kazberova for the thoughts that came to me during simple human communication))).

Yours sincerely, Anya))).

I am aware that my colleagues in the shop will now tell themselves, me, and for one thing, you, my dear readers, about the inadmissibility of such an interpretation of the problem of self-esteem)))). Because bargaining for self-esteem training is, oh, how exciting! It's like trading in pills of happiness, consisting exclusively of grated chalk - it certainly won't be worse … And the placebo effect works for 50% of patients!

And the thought crept into my head that no such self-esteem exists. Don't believe me? Just imagine …

The past is just a prologue …

Attention! First, let's talk about attention - after all, it is the only bridge between our consciousness and the world. We have all the baggage of information thanks to attention. It is precisely that the direction of the spotlight of attention "snatches" them from the world around us and becomes our truth, our reality, our life! What exactly fragments of reality fall into the focus of our attention and are perceived by us as truth - depends only on ourselves! The "beam" of your personal flashlight snatches attention from the environment that is not at all what mine! If it is aimed at a baby - your world will consist mainly of feedings, early development and diapers)))). If you focused your attention on helping animals, then your world is filled with stray cats and crippled dogs. However, if you are of the same breed as me, if your immunity is trained to prioritize the perception of positive events, then the world is replete with colorful colors, endless love, passion, health and happiness!

Where is the self-esteem? It's just a focus of attention !!!!!!!

Some psychological schools say: “High self-esteem is easily confused with low self-esteem. Sometimes they manifest themselves in very similar behavior … "," High self-esteem is the same deviation as low self-esteem, "etc. - in order not to deepen you into this nonsense, I will focus on these examples. These are just illustrations from modern psychology))). Forget about them!

Now let's think about thoughts! Attention grabs pictures of reality for us, but only thinking determines their semantic and emotional load. Now I will explain it in an extremely simplified way. There are connections in our brains organized in networks. It’s like two big baskets, one of which is filled with positive experiences, and the other with negative ones. And experience tells you which basket to put this or that fact in. If, as a result of your inferences, the information is determined as positive, it is sent to the appropriate basket. And it evokes positive emotions in you - joy, delight, curiosity, etc. Another basket will also determine your emotional state. Let me show you this with a simple example.

First evening. Your viber shows you a message: “Good night, my beloved girl! I really need you! Fall asleep soon so that tomorrow starts faster when we see you! Outside the window, a downpour begins, tree branches are tapping on the window pane and this atmosphere lulls you, smoothly sending you into the realm of sleep. You really like the rustling of streams of rain outside the window … You fall asleep and sleep soundly until the morning.

Second evening. Your vibeber brings you a message: “I wish I had never met you! What you did is terrible! Never call me again, damn you! They told me everything about your past and you no longer have a place in my life! Outside the window, a downpour begins, tree branches are breaking through the window, the whole atmosphere pisses you off terribly. You can't go out to smoke on the balcony to calm down a little. I tried to go to bed - and the whole house was filled with some sounds. It seems that the door creaks and someone is trying to break into you. So scary, you are alone in the house, the maniacs who have penetrated here can do whatever they want with you … You toss and turn until the morning and get up with swollen eyes and beginning migraines.

There was only one incident - the incipient rainstorm and the clatter of tree branches on the window pane. But, do you see what different emotions were caused by them?

Where is self-esteem? Here, beyond all measure, negative mental images. And low psychological stability.

Here you need to fight not with self-esteem, but with those thought viruses with which you infect yourself or gladly become infected from others.

Thought viruses

Monday morning. You glance quickly in the mirror and quickly lean over the sink. You don't like your appearance.

Abomination of the thought-virus of Perfectionism

Consciousness is captured by the first thought virus! He is the most insidious! The thought virus of perfectionism! “You need to see a beautician, to the gym, go to bed earlier, get the highest score” - all thoughts that you “need to get better” are the work of the perfectionism virus! Its paradox is that this virus is skillfully disguised as guilt. True true! How can you have more money than others? If your mom instilled in you that it is ideal to be "average" - you will lend your money to your friends, lose, invest in something incomprehensible …

Do you understand what I mean? In this case, the virus of perfectionism makes you correspond in the best way to your own false ideas about a good girl, for whom it is better not to have extra money))). If the notion that an ideal girl should be a virgin is implanted into your subconscious mind, then you will rush with your purity to gray hair! The thought virus of the priority of a single mother (for example, you were born or raised as such) will force you to leave your husband. You do not dare to cheat on a partner who has not slept with you for a long time - this is the same virus! After all, then you will cease to be an ideal lover … And so on ad infinitum!

How to deal with it? Sometimes, simple acceptance is a great way to kill viruses! Perfectionism needs a lot … But look into your eyes coquettishly, shrug your shoulders, relax internally and move on! Without encountering resistance, the virus will leave your subconscious as easily as the "Oriflame" seller will leave your society without receiving a single purchase from you))). So, we got an example of the first virus and universal pill for recovery - vitamin P (acceptance). In order to understand how you are doing the right thing, you have been given a healthy egoism! Simple questions: "Did I ask for this?", "Don't I deserve it?" will always tell you correctly whether you are on the right path!

And where is self-esteem here?

Abomination of the thought virus Will be worse

We are accustomed to expecting the worst. That is why we save money "for a rainy day", we are afraid to "jinx it", we say "normal" or "will not wait" instead of "excellent!" … These are the traditions of our culture, but we have to work with this!

As soon as you feel the desire to "hide" your successes - take vitamin D immediately - that is, take action! Praise your life, admire your reflection in the mirror, admire nature, post nice things in the news feed, take the floor at a planning meeting - take action! By switching to action, you will destroy the malicious virus for a while))). Of course, traditions have laid it too deeply in our minds, but this does not mean that we have to obey it! Any action will make our quality of life better!

And what does high or low self-esteem have to do with it?

Abomination of thought virus Reading other people's thoughts

“I’ll ask him for money, and he will answer me…” - and then the fantasy begins. "He looks at me like that … probably thinks that I …", "we come to my mother-in-law - and she meets me with such a goat's face, as if I …", "if I give him on the first date, he will think …" - in place of any of the three dots, your fantasy has long put a convenient word for it, hasn't it? And either all these words are positive, or purely negative. I would call this group of your thought viruses "mind reading")))). You think you know what people will think of you. Count it up, they don't think about you at all! They are busy with themselves !!! And fantasizing about what they will say about you, you steal opportunities from yourself!

As soon as you notice that the virus of reading other people's thoughts has surfaced in your brain - take vitamin D, that is, start acting! Speak, ask, smile, relax! Most importantly, realize that the feeling of reading other people's thoughts is a virus that can be ignored!

Abomination of the Thought Virus of Fear

The group of colleagues laughed out loud at the moment when you turned your back on them. Almost immediately, you decided that they were laughing at you and left the office. You do not look men in the eyes - you cannot decide on it. And you don't meet anyone first. And you don't get drunk at parties so you don't act stupid. There are still many things you don't do because you are infected with the fear virus! You refuse to take part in a beauty contest because “suddenly you won’t win,” which means you won’t become the very best and your perfectionism virus will die for some time? Much better to fertilize the virus of fear, coupled with the virus of perfectionism, being in a shaky swamp of routine security! It's NOT SCARY here! To understand where the thought virus of fear came from, how and when it took possession of you is a topic for a separate conversation. Just believe that he is, and you have to fight them. The fear virus has many faces - but you can easily recognize it by the word "scary")))). How to defeat the fear virus - only with vitamin D!

And where is the level of self-esteem here that needs to be raised, lowered, normalized?

There is another vitamin that will help you take the need for preventive purposes - vitamin Co - control and awareness. We are aware of the presence of viruses in the nature around us and control our consciousness, preventing them from dominating us! See how easy it is? Your personal antivirus program is all about monitoring the state of your thoughts, words and actions on a daily basis. And also the timely intake of the necessary vitamins.

“How so?” My astute reader will exclaim (most likely girls will read this article): “There are only four types of thought viruses and three types of pills from them? And it's all?"

Yes, my dear! Long reflections on the topic of self-esteem led me to exactly this conclusion - viruses in our pretty heads give rise to strange thoughts and fantasies, which, in turn, prevent us from living a normal life! And it's easy to defeat them! It is enough to regularly take pills - vitamins, strengthening your emotional immunity.

Perfectionism, reading other people's thoughts, fear and guilt … these are the four main viruses that so easily infect our minds, and which are not difficult to defeat, one has only to realize their presence and take action.

That's it!

Sincerely yours, Anna Solntseva

Now that I have finished writing the last word, the thought virus of fear, caught up in the illusion that I know what you are going to say, has taken possession of me. After all, someone will obviously not like the article and I’m scared what words will fly to my address. And someone will think that I am too stupid to argue on such a topic. But, I take vitamin D - I'm starting to act! I am sending my article for the first reading to my friends))).