2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Hello Svetlana.
I broke down. A month ago, I did not walk, but flew. Life seemed beautiful and wonderful to me. I dreamed of the future in rainbow colors.
Everything changed when I realized that everything was not what I thought. Suddenly I saw that all my efforts were in vain. Whatever I do is useless. Flutter, don't flutter - there will be no result. Everything is meaningless.
I no longer have the strength to do anything. I no longer want to put strength where there is no result. And he is not there at all. I don't want to work hard anymore for the sake of working. I have a persistent disgust at having to do something. I'm tired! I can not do it anymore! I feel like a complete fool, mediocrity and useless old woman when I aimlessly fight in the same place.
Do not want anymore! I do not want! I do not want! I do not want!
I'm tired. I feel despair and powerlessness only from the thought that I need to continue. It's insulting, bitter, sorry, annoying. I want to spit on everything and go into the distance.
But you can't! Because I am an adult. And nobody, do you hear ?! Nobody will support me and satisfy my wishes. No one will just give me the required amount of money. Nobody, nobody will come to my house and give me what I need. And I need a lot: to restore my health, buy an apartment, travel, change wardrobe, change computer. Invite the cleaning service, after all, to clean up those freaking windows. I want a nice new suitcase. I want a new bag. Two new bags. Shoes! I need new shoes!
I want a massage! Lymphatic drainage and osteopathic. I want to cure my teeth. I want to have a haircut in my favorite salon, but not there, which is enough.
I also want to fall in love and for a man to love me. So that he wants to be with me, and I with him. To make it good and interesting for us together. Warm, cozy, tasty and safe. And not here it is not clear what, what is now.
And how many little things I need - do not count!
No matter how hard I try, I cannot cover my needs.
Everything is useless and meaningless.
***
Hello.
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult period now. The state you described is not easy to experience alone. It is good that you wrote to me. I will try to help you by describing the possible reasons for what is happening and ways to resolve it.
1. Concretization vs globalization
Pay attention to how you describe your situation. You use the words "everything", "everything", "in general", "nowhere", from which it seems that EVERYTHING is ABSOLUTELY lost and EVERYTHING is ABSOLUTELY bad. But I’m sure it’s not. And I am even sure that in some ways you have success and progress. It's just that you are so upset now that you perceive your surroundings and what is happening in black.
Try to consider what exactly did not work out for you, and what remained unchanged or improved. Try to notice that the world is not black, but multicolored and diverse. Note that breathing and living is easier when the amount of black decreases.
2. Wrong point of application of forces selected
Judging by what you write about shopping, I will assume that your crisis is related to work and making money. Often, such fatigue, which you are writing about, is associated with a large expenditure of energy and a small exhaust as a result. The reason in this case may be an incorrectly chosen place of application of forces and the amount of application of forces.
The way out is to analyze how and what you are doing. It may be worth contacting a specialist or / and a successful person in your chosen direction to analyze what is happening. It is important to find what brings the desired result, choose the most suitable one for yourself and exclude, if possible, what takes away strength and does not give a result.
3. Great dreams vs reality
When a person lives for a long time, limiting himself in everything, and prosperity suddenly looms ahead, he begins to dream of how he will enjoy this prosperity, swim in it. At the finish line, it turns out that it is impossible to swim, just rinse the legs. Deep disappointment overtakes that there is no result, and nothing has changed. It seems so when comparing the real result with fantasies about it.
Solution. The first is to compare the result with the beginning of the path, and not with fantasies. Remember where you started and what is now. I am sure there are achievements and pluses. Second: give yourself the opportunity to enjoy the result, without trying to run further and get more. Enjoy what you have done. Think or even say: I did it. I could. I managed.
And reward yourself for what you received.
4. The reward must be affordable
Often you really want to share your joy with another person. But there may be an ambush. For example, you decide to reward yourself with a vacation trip with a significant person. The person may change their mind about going with you. Something can happen to him that will make a joint trip impossible (trouble, illness, workload). Your chosen one may have another significant person, and he will not go on a journey with you. Instead of a reward, disappointment and resentment.
If you decide to reward yourself for something, then the reward should not depend on others. It should take place anyway.
5. From the spot - to the quarry
It is good to be totally captured by the activity, working around the clock on the result, when the finish line is already visible and it remains to take the last few steps. Or when the "race" is short and its completion depends entirely on your productivity.
If the activity involves long and painstaking steps. If the result consists of many small steps and not all at once. If your success depends on your reputation, and therefore on your time. Then you need to learn to save your strength. Calculate steps, structure time. And also to plan not only work, but also rest, tk. in a long "race" rest is an important component of a future good result.
6. Health status
The very first and most important step you need to take is a visit to a psychotherapist, neurologist or psychiatrist to rule out clinical depression. Also, an endocrinologist and therapist to exclude hormonal disruptions and physical health problems, which also affect the emotional state.
Somatic problems are corrected with drugs and lifestyle changes.
Best wishes, Svetlana Podnebesnaya.
Dear readers, if you recognized yourself and your story in the article, then I am ready to help you.
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