Quite The Opposite - How To Behave When Married And Unmarried

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Not once, and yesterday again I listened to the client's story about how ingloriously her marriage had collapsed, and all because she tried too hard … Before the birth of children, she was a very free bird, a bright and restive personality, surrounded by male attention, she lived as if she didn't really need anyone … and in marriage she wanted so much to become a 100% mother and wife … she gave birth to two in a row, a cozy house, pies, her husband was like a light in the window, and everything was on the list. another husband said - I didn’t love you like that..

And I also remember the consultation at which the client said: after a divorce, after a period of urgent and fruitless searches for a new couple, I once drove and cried from resentment, loneliness, bitterness.. and suddenly I remembered how once, being married, I I was driving along the same street, and just like that I was crying bitterly because of a quarrel with my husband … I thought - what's the difference who? the one who lives with you, or the one who does not want to live? pain - it is pain … and I began to live as if I had a husband, I changed my lifestyle in general, despite the fact that I was divorced, I tried to immerse myself as often as possible in this state of calmness and confidence of stability, which I had in the long years of marriage …

So it turns out, if you are not married - behave and live your inner state as if you have a husband, only he is now on a business trip. And if you are married - do not lose inside the state "I am a free bird."

This is me that if you start to understand that not all the troubles in your life come from the presence / absence of your husband, then there will be more opportunities to reduce the number of troubles, and to preserve / develop yourself as a person.

This is not the first time I publish these reflections on the behavior of married and unmarried. And once one of my clients wrote her response to such a post.

Her words seemed very important to me, and I would like others to read them too. I publish with her consent:

This is not the first time I publish these reflections on the behavior of married and unmarried. And once one of my clients wrote her response to such a post.

Her words seemed very important to me, and I would like others to read them too. I publish with her consent:

I thought a lot on the example of different couples…. how so? What about society? Instead of society taking and cheating (bringing to social consideration, for example, the painfulness of his wrong behavior) men, more and more common - capable only of relationships at the level of the first steps, preparatory work for the very main thing - the family. Capable only at that stage of the relationship when partners lure each other, keep passion and tension.

As soon as that for the sake of which everything was started begins - that's all, interest disappears. This indicates a lack of depth of responsibility, the ability to be the head of the family, to be the guarantor of protection and to ensure happiness and peace from the outside - and a healthy woman provides him with the same in return, but from the inside. I call them broken, defective men - butterflies. Just like women who are not able to stop in these games (and there are examples in my close circle).

Yes, a man will be attracted by iron attention…. only the reverse side: it does not go into the woman / mother / rear phase - NEVER. And the consequences are dire. You host hundreds of girls from such mothers in your office. Their children are disfigured because they never received mother / woman / love / peace / happiness / care - never. There was a butterfly who was afraid to move into the next logical phase of the relationship. She was afraid to lose the sharpness of relations, independence. It amazes me that both there and here, when analyzing such situations, nowhere is there an accent that everything is ok with women. There are few men capable of starting a family. And it is not necessary to adjust women to the painful result of our time in the form of such men, but to think what to do with men. Teach women how to tell who is who before marriage.

But do not teach them to maintain their internal defense, or live as if they exist, but he does not exist, so that if he leaves, it will not hurt …. I think so …..