Psychological Counseling Via Skype. And Cats

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Let's start with the question "to be or not to be?" I often come across the position that skype counseling is "fake" counseling that charlatans practice and cannot help. Do you want to know what I think about this? I suppose I'm sorry this is swagger. From the category, as that the handbag should be from Versace and not just a handbag. Am I categorical? But let's look at skype consulting like this:

What should a person who has broken his leg do?

He may need literally one consultation. In order to somehow process all the grief from the situation and annoyance and see it differently - that it is a broken leg, not life. Are we going to force him to go to a "real" consultation (and this will require, say, a taxi back and forth and there will still be a lot of difficulties with all sorts of steps) or just say that he is tough and let him put up with it? Why am I writing so harshly and categorically - raising the question of whether counseling is "real" on skype we throw out huge sections of the population at once, for which Skype is the only acceptable way out: people with limited mobility. This is the one who broke an arm or a leg. And disabled. And the one who suffers from social phobia or agoraphobia. And hickey. And the wife of a jealous husband. And the mother of the nursing baby. All of them may need consultation or therapy precisely because of their circumstances, should we refuse them?

They have different difficulties. It is difficult and expensive for someone to get there. For someone, as a phobic patient, it is not physically difficult, but scary. And then part of the consultation will go to calm down, get ready, tune in to work - Skype will not require such mental costs.

The wife of a jealous person is easy to get to, but you have to lie. In general, this is a regular practice when a girl says that she is going to a friend, but in fact - to a psychologist. But is it worth creating unnecessary stress where you can do without it? Carving out one hour for Skype at home or staying for an hour in the office after work is much easier than getting out into the city for half an evening (let's add a road), hiding where.

The mother of a nursing child most often has problems with her own schedule. He is not here. Will this reduce the quality of counseling - a distraction to the child? Sure. Here is an unpleasant question, and the child was fidgeting in a dream. And that's it, we got away from the question. Or simply lost time. But is this a reason to refuse counseling at all? I think it's up to the patient.

And then there are the visually impaired and hearing impaired. When it is important that you can get closer to the screen or make the sound louder.

And also - illness, when you should not leave the house once again. Or when, if the Internet permits, you want to get a supportive consultation almost from the hospital - because, instead of support, the relatives themselves make the patient a vest for their tears.

And I probably didn't remember all the options. But in all these cases, the question of consultation is often raised - either via Skype or in any way. And to refuse Skype will be cruelty, banal discrimination.

Skype consulting has its own characteristics, or rather, even limitations. Both psychologists and patients face them.

Let's figure out the nuance

Psychologist and Skype

The most important limitation of the psychologist is that the patient is not fully visible. Even in a good case (excellent resolution, beautiful light), the psychologist sees a "passport photo".

Why is that bad? You see, some patients express their experiences bodily, they either tighten their legs or relax. Or tapping on the floor. Or picking the floor with their toes. All this silent dialogue in the case of Skype passes by. And similarly with the hands - all these stroking the arms of the chairs, tapping with fingers, which make it clear how much a person is thoughtful or agitated - all this is past the camera. It is not possible to understand the whole patient.

But it can be even worse. I've worked in situations where it's dark and I see a dark silhouette against the backdrop of a black room. Or when a person is not all in the frame. In such cases, it is worthwhile to ask to turn on the light or to appear entirely - that if such a distance is important to a person, it is safe for him. And by turning on the light and appearing more clearly, it will close even more, and the work will only become harder.

The psychologist, as you know, does not completely fit into the frame either)) Why is this bad? This causes more distrust and apprehension than if the whole person was visible. It is not that the patient expects the psychologist to drum hard with his hands or something else, just less information, less trust.

And the lack of common space also works against the psychologist. When everyone is in their room. It kind of increases the distance.

In general, we are dealing with a lot of mistrust, distance and resistance, and of course it slows things down. Skype, let's face it, loses in this "live" consultation.

Patient and Skype:

Patients have more problems. They are less likely to be late for Skype)), but it's more difficult to tune in to it. It is more difficult to switch that, here, I am at home or in the car, but at the same time I am in consultation. It is necessary to collect thoughts, feelings, and this requires preparation. And when you go to a consultation, then enter the office, then such a setting happens automatically.

The second major issue is security. So that no one enters, distracts, listens under the door, well, or simply because it is audible.

The third is organization. When you come to a psychologist, he should think so that you can give a glass of water, a handkerchief, a pen and paper for notes … and so it's all on the patient, how to make yourself comfortable. It will seem like a trifle to you, but - in disheveled feelings, people find it difficult to think about it. And even asking the patient about it in advance is often pointless - it flies out of my head.

In general, to summarize, the organizational burden falls on the patients, they collect themselves, prepare themselves, get involved in the work before the Skype call begins.

I therefore practice warning work five minutes before the start. Well, I’m already in place and getting ready. And this is my way of reminding me that it's time to get ready for work.))

When giving recommendations, look for what will do you well and conveniently. What clothes will help you to tune in? Do you want to pick up something - the case when you can sit down with a mascot or a plush toy - and not show them to the camera, so I don't even know about it)) But more often they choose to keep hot tea or plain water nearby. You should always keep a pen and paper nearby - sometimes you say some thoughts that you would be sorry to forget. Or you may need to write down your homework (they are in long-term work).

Communication and cats

There are two technical difficulties in online consulting. First, communication can fail. In this case, I took care of two providers and two cameras - if the patient's channel is bad, then I switch to the one that is weaker and eats less traffic. But this in itself does not guarantee uninterrupted communication, as you know. And this makes a Skype consultation much more problematic than a live consultation - if you came, then that's it, you came, none of you will teleport to space during the consultation. But Skype may be interrupted. Or it may be disgusting to cut the connection every 5 minutes. Or it may slow down. So it is worth negotiating a consultation via skype only if everything from your side with a connection is ok.

I won't expand here anymore, because the purely technical guidelines on how best to organize are better written on the net than I could. And the general conclusion that technical problems interfere with is most often a feeling of dissatisfaction (and even irritation if the connection did not disappear right away, but made you worry and hope for the best, but then it refused completely)

And cats. I sometimes find myself in a situation where my cat, who has climbed into an inconspicuous place, suddenly climbs out and defiles meeeeeeeally past the camera, and everything, as you know, is worth throwing and taking out this "model". It would be very correct to never get into such situations at all, but you won't chase the animal with a mop, will you? ((Patient cats also attract a hell of a lot of attention, and you have to spend energy so that the patient does not lose after the patient's cat. You will say that I am dramatizing, but imagine that the emotional background from the patient and the cat is different. The rhythms are different. Cats, on the other hand, rarely choose the moment to turn or speak.

Why not just ask them to take it out on purpose? But the cat does not bother the patient, and maybe even more - it helps to calm down and relax. When a cat sleeps next to you, there is less aggression. In general, I take, as far as I can, a position of non-interference. True, if the cat is spinning underfoot, then the patient is already distracted, and there is definitely more harm than good - here I already ask you to do something.

I think that soon cats and Skype counseling will become a separate topic for discussion in the psychological circle. You may think that I am exaggerating, but this is still a unique situation - patients usually do not take cats for consultation in the office, but they willingly come to consultations at home, and they often signal with all the power of the sensorimotor intelligence - we are gathered to be able to relax together and rest, there is no need to strain. Why do I attach so much importance to this?

Because the risk of retraumatization decreases

This is one of the main difficulties in psychological work - how to talk about a problem and not hurt yourself very much with it again? With cats, people usually begin to restrain themselves more easily and naturally than if the psychologist asked them "oh, don't worry!" Therefore, I am so worried about this whole topic. And the behavior of Maine Coons (the few with whom I had the experience of consulting, tried to sleep, ignoring the discussion, they say, all these are little things in life). And the reactions of the Siamese (according to my small sample, they are often more active, they go to the camera with curiosity and demand that the owners switch to themselves or calm down). If you have your own experience in "cats and skype consulting" - I would like to read it))

Now for general recommendation

Should you personally work on Skype?

I described above who have Skype - practically the only possible way out, but I did not talk about those whose hands are not tied. How do you choose if, by and large, it doesn't matter?

Look for where it is easier and more convenient for you to work

If it is easier for you to spend almost two hours on a trip, but the consultation feels like a consultation, and not just a conversation, personal work is preferable.

If during Skype you are distracted, feel that you misunderstand a specialist - with chances, you need live work to concentrate.

If you are anxious and uncomfortable, then a special space for work is desirable, again, a meeting in the office will be the best way out.

And if you feel that it is more convenient for you to find such an option, when it is better not to meet in person, and you discuss everything from home, from work, in the car, then Skype is better.

There is also the option "ours abroad", when it is psychologically easier to consult in your native language with a specialist who understands in which country you grew up.

Skype is still considered as a way to choose a convenient time, but my colleagues at the Center work from 8 am to 10 pm, 7 days a week (and I keep remembering the joke about the crematorium when I look at the schedule, sorry for the dark humor), so It seems to me that it is not worth arguing that Skype expands your ability to choose a convenient time. The place - yes, but the time - to find an acceptable option in time is realistic and without skype.

I know that many are trying to choose a psychologist and a format immediately and permanently, but this fetters you. It is better to immediately tune in to the search, where you can try to discuss your situation on Skype with one psychologist and meet in person with another - and, relying on real experience, and not fantasies, make decisions. Because you can imagine what and how it will turn out, but reality will show that no, it turns out not so. You think that it does not matter, your own room or someone else's office, but it turns out - unconsciously - it is important. And only practice will show it.