2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We're all somewhat alike, right? Someone with someone more, someone with someone less. Unconsciously, we are constantly looking for these connections in the environment, and our relationship is built on this a lot. And, yes, it is not obvious to us what connects a biker and a ballerina. And maybe for them too. Connections are sometimes thin to the consistency of cobwebs, but they are there. And this is what unites an investigator, a doctor and a psychologist. We look for connections where they are not obvious.
I have been thinking for a long time about which client comes to which psychologist. This is a separate big topic. However, there is no doubt that the client, when choosing a psychologist, relies on some common foci, even if they are expressed in the form of desire."
I want such a psychologist”=“Such a psychologist is able to solve my problem”=” The psychologist faced a problem”=“General”.
The general is also sought in ideas, lifestyle, appearance, character. The general can come from the negative: “this person is NOT like me / someone from my environment, does not have this or that property, so he will be effective”. But if I, a psychologist, do not possess this property, it means that once I have already overcome the conflict that the client avoids, and came to the result that the client would explicitly or implicitly want. General.
The psychologist is sometimes an inverted reflection of the client. It contains those qualities that the client lacks at this stage of life. The client, knowingly or not, needs to wake them up. For a psychologist, in turn, a meeting with such a client may be a sign of an inverse imbalance in his own personality.
Nevertheless, we must not forget that this similarity is to a certain extent illusory. It is not we who are identical (or inversely identical), it is we who choose what to see and what to look at. It is important to remember this before we face the problem of transference and countertransference. If the psychologist perceives the similarity with the client too deeply, emotionally, this can turn into a merger and even codependency. And you can also benefit from this similarity by adjusting the client to yourself and deploying his usual unwanted pattern in an alternative direction.
“I had such a situation, and I dealt with it like this” - this is not necessarily a direct phrase for consultation, it is a description of the work process.
Also, through identifying common features, you can, in principle, understand what implicit tasks the client faces. Or in front of you. Isn't it great?
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