2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are a lot of articles on how to choose a psychologist / psychotherapist, both on the Internet and in print publications. We offer websites for the selection of specialists, numerous forums, services for demo consultations, pages with reviews about the work of a particular therapist or consultant. And every second psychologist also has his own business card site. Clients are guided by intuition, word of mouth, reviews, the tone the psychologist uses about himself and his work, and the author’s personal publications, after all
Much has been said about how to find and how to choose a psychotherapist. But I want to add a couple more important theses on my own, which often remain unvoiced. First, no matter how trite it may sound, we are all very different. And psychologists are different, because psychologists are people too. Even those who work in the same approach. Someone is "softer", and someone is "tougher", someone works dynamically, and someone - slowly.
And not every specialist will suit every client. And not at all because the specialist is bad. Or the client is "not like that". It's just that everyone has their own style of work, their own charisma, their own "hooks" and associations. And if a psychologist helped your friend ideally, this does not mean that he will help you with a similar problem. By the way, the problem may not be the same at all - even if it seems so at first glance. One client asks to help him deal with “self-doubt” and another - with it, with the same “uncertainty”. One has a long-standing internal conflict between repressed aggression and the fear of manifesting it outside, while the other has a traumatic childhood memory of an unsuccessful performance during a matinee. You will have to deal with these two hypothetical clients in completely different ways.
The second thesis is a consequence of the first. If a specialist does not suit you personally, do not be afraid to talk about it. This does not mean that he is a "bad psychologist." To each his own, and perhaps - somewhere there are those clients who need just such an approach that is completely unacceptable for you. And you will not offend or hurt a psychologist / psychotherapist if you tell him what you don’t like about him. Perhaps the point is in a banal transfer reaction, and then your distrust in a specialist will be an excellent material for study. Maybe we are talking in general about your resistance and defensive devaluation, forcing you to "run away" from a psychologist who has almost "got to the bottom" of the problem. But it may turn out that this therapist is categorically not suitable for you. And it is he who can help you find someone who can help, who will suit you. By the way, if a psychologist invites you to contact his colleague, do not be offended. This is not because he "did not like" you. He just realized that he knew someone who would help you more effectively.
Despite the fact that there are quite a few psychologists and psychotherapists, the importance of internal competition should not be exaggerated. Almost every specialist has a list of colleagues to whom he refers some of his clients, with whom, for one reason or another, he cannot work (or who cannot work with him). And no, the point is not that we advise our friends to clients, or demand from each other a "share" from the clients brought. We just know exactly how each other works, so we can guess or at least try to guess which psychotherapist will be useful for this particular client.
I personally never send my clients (or clients who have contacted me with a request to help find a specialist) to those colleagues in whom I am not sure. Even if I treat these colleagues with sympathy. All therapists whom I can advise are highly qualified specialists, experienced, competent, and I have seen all of them in one way or another “in action”. I trust them. And I am sure that those who recommend me also do it for a reason.
When do I “redirect” a client to a colleague? If the subject of the request is not within my competence. For example, I am not confident in my own abilities when working with severe chemical addictions (alcoholism from the second stage, drug addiction). This is not my profile (although, like all psychologists, I am constantly studying and improving my qualifications, so over time, perhaps, I will master narcology as well). But I know people who have a talent for dealing with addicts, and I can help connect with them. I do not work with young children - this is the task of child psychologists, and I have several amazing specialists in working with toddlers, play therapists, child neuropsychologists, child analysts in my stash. Also, there are methods of work that I do not know, or that are not very close to me. But I'm sure all flowers should bloom. And I know who to send a client who wants to work in a certain approach, which for some reason does not suit me.
In addition, different psychologists charge different fees for their services. The cost of a job is made up of many components, and not necessarily the most expensive psychologist is the best. And vice versa. If a client honestly informs me that he "does not pay" my price, and for one reason or another I cannot give him a discount, I am ready to advise him the most reliable and talented colleagues from those who take cheaper than me.
Sometimes it turns out to find "our" psychotherapist right away - there is some strange magic in how we intuitively choose exactly those people who will help us. Sometimes you have to bypass several specialists in order to understand which style of work is most effective in a particular case.
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